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-   -   I feel a void in my heart and soul. (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f300-grief-and-loss/2638568-i-feel-void-my-heart-and-soul.html)

Rpantle March 28th, 2013 08:22 AM

I feel a void in my heart and soul.
 
On January 12, 2013 after four days o labor I was blessed with my baby girl. She was 5 LBs 1oz 18 in. LOng. She was born at 36 weeks so we belived she would be fine. We went home on the 15 th of January less then 24 hours later she was not doing good she was acting diffrent so we rushed her to the ER where they later life flighted her to the Denver children's hospital. They found she had low blood suagers and would need tO be on Meds. After a week we went home we had three amazing days at home then she got really sick I thought it was the flu. That was on the 27th of January. We took her to the ER and later that night we were life flighted again to the Denver hospital I was so scared she was so sick and no body knew what was wrong with her. He tummy started turning green she was throughing up green stuff. She stopped breathing so she was Placed on life support breathing tubes IVs. On the 28 the doctors wanted to do a exploratory surgery to see if they could find any thing. So I let them when she came back from surgery she was on even more support. He small intestine had died all the way and was sitting on the out side of her body she was so sick she had an infection that went septic. It was in her blood and brain. On the night of the 29 the doctors. Came to us and told us they have done every thing they could do and we need to make a choices to let her go or live in pain, and on support. I had already told my self I would not be selfish to keep her would mean putting her throught hell. So we let her go January 30, 2013 at 1237am this was the hardest thing I have ever done she passed away in my arms. I have Been betting my self up for this every day after. I feel dead inside and broken. This is my story.

Cobra867 December 21st, 2013 07:18 PM

Re: I feel a void in my heart and soul.
 
I am so very sorry, that is heart breaking. I wish there was more I could do to comfort you then just type some words but I hope getting that out on this forum helps you, even if just a little. :bighug::bighug:


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