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fluffycheeks April 16th, 2012 05:59 AM

Dangers of Crying it Out
 
What do you think of this article, published a couple of months ago by Psychology Today? It claims that letting a baby cry is actually very harmful to their brain development, as well as detrimental to their independence and relationships later in life.

Excerpts:


Quote:

With neuroscience, we can confirm what our ancestors took for granted---that letting babies get distressed is a practice that can damage children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term. We know now that leaving babies to cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more anxious, uncooperative and alienated person who can pass the same or worse traits on to the next generation.


Quote:

One strangely popular notion still around today is to let babies 'cry it out' when they are left alone, isolated in cribs or other devices. This comes from a misunderstanding of child and brain development.

Babies grow from being held. Their bodies get dysregulated when they are physically separated from caregivers. (See here for more.)

Babies indicate a need through gesture and eventually, if necessary, through crying. Just as adults reach for liquid when thirsty, children search for what they need in the moment. Just as adults become calm once the need is met, so do babies.

There are many longterm effects of undercare or need-neglect in babies (e.g., Bremmer et al, 1998; Blunt Bugental et al., 2003; Dawson et al., 2000; Heim et al 2003).

Secure attachment is related to responsive parenting, such as when babies wake up and cry at night.


Full Article:
Dangers of

HappyHippy April 16th, 2012 07:59 AM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
I agree with it, it makes sense, and I have family members in the feild who say the same thing.

I don't know about less intelligent, but a more anxious person and what not, yeah, makes sense. And I know the counter argument is "Well some babies cry for hours in your arms, surely they release cortisol too". Yes, they do, but there is a difference in other responses in the body when a baby is crying and being comforted and crying all alone.

BittyBugsMama April 16th, 2012 08:13 AM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
I don't agree with CIO and this article helps me reaffirm that belief. I don't believe you can spoil a baby by holding them and I think putting such a young person through the stress of crying until they fall asleep isn't right. Babies cry because they have no other way to communicate with us, not because they are trying to make us angry or bother us.

Repti.Mom April 16th, 2012 12:58 PM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
I think that CIO as an infant is useless, but have used it on older children. I'd say around age 18 mo-2 yrs.

I've seen horrible videos of what it looks like when children have NO contact at all, you can't tell me they grow up normal. I'm referring to the videos of the unwanted and special needs Chinese children that are essentially 'thrown away' in orphanages.

fluffycheeks April 16th, 2012 03:11 PM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama (Post 25901827)
I don't agree with CIO and this article helps me reaffirm that belief. I don't believe you can spoil a baby by holding them and I think putting such a young person through the stress of crying until they fall asleep isn't right. Babies cry because they have no other way to communicate with us, not because they are trying to make us angry or bother us.

This is how I feel as well. As a mom, it goes against every instinct I have to sit there and let my child cry in the next room. I think those instincts were given to mothers as a reason, and I don't think we should ignore them.

*SamF* April 17th, 2012 06:28 AM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
This isn't 'new' but always good to point out. So many women here the old advice their mothers received that you will spoil a baby if you hold them too much.
I know it wasn't that long ago but when DS was born the hospital had all these videos we had to watch and one was about the dangers of CIO.

Even now unless he's just being ridiculous (a silly tantrum where it's more for show than him being truly upset) I have a really hard time just letting him sit there and cry.

HappyHippy April 17th, 2012 08:54 AM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
^ I wish they'd show that video at the hospital I had ds1 in. They are still of the mindset that it's ok to let a baby CIO because a baby at 6 months MUST STTN.

fluffycheeks April 17th, 2012 11:53 AM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyHippy (Post 25907037)
^ I wish they'd show that video at the hospital I had ds1 in. They are still of the mindset that it's ok to let a baby CIO because a baby at 6 months MUST STTN.

Ditto. I have a 2 year old who still doesn't STTN. You should hear the comments I get about her!

So NO ONE here is going to defend CIO? Come on, I know there are several here who use it as a parenting method.

plan4fate April 17th, 2012 12:22 PM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
I have moved more to the no cio side of the fence since joining JM. I do not feel it is healthy to just let a child sit and scream at a young age hoping they'll learn to soothe themselves and sleep through the night.

but seeing as I've never been with infants for more than 6-8hrs at a time... I really cannot say exactly what I will do. I'm sure my kids will probably cry at some point for a very short period while I'm occupied with something like cooking... but I can't see me just putting them in their bed and walking away because I want them to sleep. I'm sure I'd cry just as much as they would after about 3 minutes.

Tammyjh April 17th, 2012 12:35 PM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
When you think about it, how stressed do you get if your baby cries and it takes a while to get them quieted? If its stressful for mom/dad/caregiver, then how stressed is baby? Being overly stressed is related to lower IQ scores meaning that if you go in for IQ testing on a really bad day, your scores would probably be lower than on a day when you feel on top of the world. So if baby is cio over a long period of time, I can see how that might lead to a lower overall IQ.

Frackel April 17th, 2012 01:09 PM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
I've had moments in my life as a parent that CIO might have sounded like a fantastic idea. I don't think that's an unhealthy thought to have. I think many, if not most, parents have a "ARRRRRRRRG" moment here and there when having a child scream in their ear while trying to console them, doesn't sound all too fun. I don't think that's unhealthy either.

I do think it's unhealthy to actually act on those thoughts, every single time, though. There is a difference between walking away for a moment, or a few, to collect yourself so that you can better help your child(and yourself) and simply ignoring the cries of your child because you think they can deal with it on their own. The latter being completely and utterly unhealthy-for the both of you. The former not fitting what I consider CIO to actually be.

I've never been a fan of CIO in the way that many use it. I find it harmful, not helpful.
I've never needed research from others to tell me that consoling my kid when s/he's crying is the best thing for me to do(for both of us), but I have to admit I'm glad others put it out there. There are plenty of people who DO need to see it, read it, hear it, to understand it. I just wish it was more widely used.
In hospitals that offer to take the baby to the nursery for the evening, they don't CIO, they don't let the babies scream(barring the immediate need to because a nurse only has so many hands and no one else is available, of course, but that's a temporary thing). So why hospitals do not promote this kind of research and other studies/literature already out there, is beyond me. They know the value of attending to the needs of a crying child, they SHOULD be helping new parents understand it as well.

*Jennifer* April 17th, 2012 01:55 PM

Re: Dangers of Crying it Out
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by fluffycheeks (Post 25908080)
Ditto. I have a 2 year old who still doesn't STTN. You should hear the comments I get about her!

So NO ONE here is going to defend CIO? Come on, I know there are several here who use it as a parenting method.


Yep. I hear you. I still bring my son to the bed if he wakes up crying at night.


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