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-   -   Does anyone wish.... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/1234869-does-anyone-wish.html)

Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy September 14th, 2008 12:58 AM

They had a home birth with their first birth? I sure do! I had an unnecessary C-section the first time. I wish I did so I could of avoided all that crap. I had a terrible birth experience. I worry about rupture this time but I know the stats so I don't worry much. I'm more afraid of the hospital.

~Jackie September 14th, 2008 06:49 AM

I don't know! I will have to answer after I have one first. LOL!

thepinkleprechaun September 14th, 2008 07:02 AM

Yes! I haven't had my home birth with the 2nd on yet....but I wish the circumstances had been different and I had been able to have a natural birth at least. And it would have helped if there were any midwives in my area too.

inyourhonor September 14th, 2008 07:48 AM

I haven't had my home birth yet, but I do wish I had gone that route the first time. I went into that labor wanting a vaginal birth, but like you, i had an unnecessary c-section.

kimberlypatton@msn.com September 14th, 2008 02:34 PM

I had my first two in a freestanding birth center with midwives. It was SUCH a beautiful and supportive place that I couldn't even have IMAGINED anything more wonderful...until I had my home birth! I'm happy for each birth I've experienced and have no regrets. I felt like I really needed that extra feeling of safety with my first. The birth center was right across a couple streets from one of the best hospitals for neonatal care in the greater Seattle area. I was worried something would be wrong and felt safer knowing I was so close to help if needed.

mamatanya September 14th, 2008 02:39 PM

Since my first was in the hospital, I can honestly say that for me a homebirth is the best option. I've been on both sides of the fence and although I enjoy and love giving birth at home, I am better able to defend my decision because of my hospital birth.

soImarriedAnerd September 15th, 2008 12:43 AM

I'm having my first at home.

Mommy2Amara&Kayori September 15th, 2008 08:02 AM

yes I wish I had my first at home

Isaeph September 15th, 2008 07:08 PM

Oh YES YES YES, I wish I would have just stayed home when my water broke. But at least I have the experience to relate to other's now...thats what I keep telling myself.

LaLa September 17th, 2008 09:24 PM

Yes I do. I actually kind of grieve over this - its a strong word, but i do. I feel really bad for not being able to give my son (my first) the beautiful birth i had with my second. I feel kind of guilty actually. It sounds whacky, and I'm sure most wont "get" it - but there really is something magical & special that you just cant recreate in a hospital room, in a building you don't live in. Having my family there, it being so special, spiritual, a family event, nobody - NOBODY - was a stranger, someone who wasnt there simply to celebrate MY baby's birth. My MW was so close to me by then, it was like having anothe rfamily member there. It was so awesome.

I look back, and all I remember emotion-wise frmo my sons birth, was worry, fear, exhaustion, pressure, time constraints, rushing, and when ti was over thinkign "Thank god". Then more worry, fear, exhaustion, pain, pressure, time constraints, deadlines, tests, etc. When all i wanted was to hold him and memorize every feature, he "had" to be warmed by a lamp, inspected by a guy who was only there b/c it was his job, id never met him before, etc. Some nurse almost whisked him away to the nurseyr, and i had to ASK for him back. My own baby! I just worked hard for this kid, grew him for 9 months, then pushed him out of my womb, and i have to ask a stranger ive never met for MY baby back?! And then DR has to "approve" it first?! Youre kidding me?!

I didnt have a bad experience dont get me wrong. But it was most definitely NOT the experience I first had.

And of course, I'm sure theres a reason for it all - I likely wouldnt have appreciated those little things, like not having to "ask" for my baby back, like not having to "ask" whats going on - i called the shots. I led the way. My instinct held greater weight than all the other stuff. If *I* said there was a problem, by god there was a problem, and nobody had to "double check it" with a fancy medical tool. They had medical tools for emergencies, but we were there for a baby to be born, not an emergency :) I held my baby when i wanted, as long as i wanted, and *I* took care of my baby after I gave birth to her.

Only hands that loved her touched her after her birth, she was wrapped in blankets that we owned, picked out, had there special just for her. Nobody needed permission for anything.

Ok, I could go on forever lol. But - really - i'm sure that as much as i really feel like i jipped my son out of the biggest day of his life, his birth was still special - and without it i might have taken for granted all the little things :)

Lala...

Radish4ever September 17th, 2008 09:24 PM

Well, yes and no with me! DD was a planned birth center birth as I lived in an apartment at the time and didn't feel comfortable having her there......... After 42 hours of labor, I got a Cesarean and my 2 midwives even agree it was necessary due to DD's position, size, and cocked head. :( Also my water had been broken that whole time and I even pushed for 3 hours with no success :(

I'm so thankful for my successful HBAC!!! It was wonderful! The labor was COMPLETELY different

pat899 September 18th, 2008 03:30 PM

I regret havingmy first three in the hospital. I regret letting things happen to me that I really did not want. Why oh Why did I let a stranger calm me as I pushed my daughter out totally sidelining my DH. Why did I let the OB do all those degradng cervical checks. Why did i consent to the IV after I first said no.

I wish I would have stood up for myslf better. I wish I did not let myself be coherrced, belittled, and bullied.

My homebirth healed me, but I have regrets about the first three births.

Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy September 18th, 2008 04:33 PM

Quote:

Yes I do. I actually kind of grieve over this - its a strong word, but i do. I feel really bad for not being able to give my son (my first) the beautiful birth i had with my second. I feel kind of guilty actually. It sounds whacky, and I'm sure most wont "get" it - but there really is something magical & special that you just cant recreate in a hospital room, in a building you don't live in. Having my family there, it being so special, spiritual, a family event, nobody - NOBODY - was a stranger, someone who wasnt there simply to celebrate MY baby's birth. My MW was so close to me by then, it was like having anothe rfamily member there. It was so awesome.

I look back, and all I remember emotion-wise frmo my sons birth, was worry, fear, exhaustion, pressure, time constraints, rushing, and when ti was over thinkign "Thank god". Then more worry, fear, exhaustion, pain, pressure, time constraints, deadlines, tests, etc. When all i wanted was to hold him and memorize every feature, he "had" to be warmed by a lamp, inspected by a guy who was only there b/c it was his job, id never met him before, etc. Some nurse almost whisked him away to the nurseyr, and i had to ASK for him back. My own baby! I just worked hard for this kid, grew him for 9 months, then pushed him out of my womb, and i have to ask a stranger ive never met for MY baby back?! And then DR has to "approve" it first?! Youre kidding me?!

I didnt have a bad experience dont get me wrong. But it was most definitely NOT the experience I first had.

And of course, I'm sure theres a reason for it all - I likely wouldnt have appreciated those little things, like not having to "ask" for my baby back, like not having to "ask" whats going on - i called the shots. I led the way. My instinct held greater weight than all the other stuff. If *I* said there was a problem, by god there was a problem, and nobody had to "double check it" with a fancy medical tool. They had medical tools for emergencies, but we were there for a baby to be born, not an emergency :) I held my baby when i wanted, as long as i wanted, and *I* took care of my baby after I gave birth to her.

Only hands that loved her touched her after her birth, she was wrapped in blankets that we owned, picked out, had there special just for her. Nobody needed permission for anything.

Ok, I could go on forever lol. But - really - i'm sure that as much as i really feel like i jipped my son out of the biggest day of his life, his birth was still special - and without it i might have taken for granted all the little things :)

Lala...[/b]

Quote:

I regret havingmy first three in the hospital. I regret letting things happen to me that I really did not want. Why oh Why did I let a stranger calm me as I pushed my daughter out totally sidelining my DH. Why did I let the OB do all those degradng cervical checks. Why did i consent to the IV after I first said no.

I wish I would have stood up for myslf better. I wish I did not let myself be coherrced, belittled, and bullied.

My homebirth healed me, but I have regrets about the first three births.[/b]
I know what you both mean :( I hope I get a HBAC this time. They tried to control everything last time and they did a good job @ it :(

ragmama October 3rd, 2008 09:16 PM

Oh, I ABSOLUTELY wish I'd had my first at home. If only I'd known more about it then. I can't help feeling like I was cheated of that experience, and that poor Rachael went through so much that she didn't have to...

Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy October 3rd, 2008 09:24 PM

Quote:

Oh, I ABSOLUTELY wish I'd had my first at home. If only I'd known more about it then. I can't help feeling like I was cheated of that experience, and that poor Rachael went through so much that she didn't have to...[/b]
I know what you mean. Alissa went through pitocin, iv drugs, epi then c-section.

I really wish I did first time because I wouldn't be dealing with all these things I have had to deal with for having a VBAC. Now I have to deal with my placenta being to close to my scar and possibly not having a home birth. Which is scary. I don't wanna get cut again unless an emergency.


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