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-   -   Siblngs and homebirth (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/1788268-siblngs-and-homebirth.html)

Twinkle November 30th, 2009 11:26 AM

Siblngs and homebirth
 
Lets share our experiences with having our other children present at our home birth. For those that have gone through it, do you have any stories? any advice? For those that haven't been through it yet, what are you doing to prepare your older children for the birth?

inyourhonor November 30th, 2009 11:35 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
My oldest Gage, wasn't 3 yet, so when I went into active labor my mom took him to her house and he spent the day there. He was very concerned about me and it started to scare him. So she was able to distract him and take him over there.

PixieQueen November 30th, 2009 11:38 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
My midwife gave me some books and a video. The video is called "I Watched my Brother Being Born" and has a accompanying book. We haven't watched it yet. She's about 2 1/2, so until it actually happens, it seems to still be a rather abstract concept for her. My mom is her labor support, so if it's too much, she'll take her elsewhere.

Twinkle November 30th, 2009 03:26 PM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
My girls were present for Kate's birth, but slept through it. This time I'd like them to be there and awake, depending on how things go and whatnot. I did have a friend lined up to care for the girls' had they been awake and uncomfortable during the birth. I'll probably have that person available and "on call" this time as well.

WishingStar December 1st, 2009 05:12 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
I hope they are around for it. I'm not sure what I'll do if they're in school when it's happening. The last time I gave birth, my oldest was on top of me, worried, wanting to help... and in the last hours, it was annoying. So, I'm not sure how this will be. Being at home this time, maybe they can just relax, watch tv, come in and out...

Kelllilee December 1st, 2009 06:58 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
We had a great experience having my older two girls at the birth. Labor started in the middle of the night and they were only awake for the last 2 hours of it.

Nola is 2.5 and she was very interested in what was going on. She wanted desperately to get in the tub with me! :lol: She was a little "too" interested though and kept circling the tub. Every time she bumped into it the water would move and make my belly move which made contractions very difficult to stay on top of, so eventually she was carted off to her room. She came back out at the end to watch the baby actually be born and she was FASCINATED. She still talks about it!

Courtney is 4. She was in the room when Nola was born 2 years ago so she had some idea what was going on. Plus she LOVES watching birth videos so she was pretty well prepared. She was doing well during the labor, but ended up going to her room to play when my sisters took Nola back there. When the baby was born she was super excited and shouted out when she saw the baby's head emerge. If you ask her about it now she'll tell you excitedly "the baby POKED its little head out!" :lol: We also assigned her the job of announcing the gender. She really liked having something that was just for her to do.

For me, I really think being a part of the process helps a TON with transitioning from baby-in-belly to the real thing. We've had very little issues with jealousy or anything and all-in-all its been a super smooth transition so far!

Twinkle December 1st, 2009 07:55 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
I agree with you Kellliee, about it really cutting down on jealousy. Even though my girls weren't awake for the birth, Kate was accepted right away, she was there when the girls woke up, there was no traveling back and forth from the hospital... there was no interruption in the girls' care, since I was right there and didn't leave for a few days.

lhug_nar December 1st, 2009 08:32 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
We're going to try to keep the boys home for the birth. If we need them to go someplace, our doula said she'd take them for us to wherever they're going to go.

Twhylite21 December 1st, 2009 11:02 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
I'm hoping Lily gets to see the birth. My midwives said they have no problem with her being in the room, but they did recommend having someone who is in charge of her in case she gets upset/scared, etc. My best friend and one of my SILs will both be at the birth, so they said they'd rotate watching Lily.

Alison79 December 1st, 2009 05:23 PM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
When Reid was born my older sons were at their Dad's an my daughter was sleeping because I labored during the middle of the night. He was born at 8:30 and she woke up shortly after, saw the baby and then said she wanted breakfast :lol:

When Eleanor was born I labored for most of the day with Evelyn (3) and Reid (1) present. We ran errands and in general just kept busy and away from the house. When my labor really kicked in we had some friends over to watch the kids. They went to bed around 7 and Eleanor was born at 8:50. When I started to push my midwife asked if we wanted to wake the kids but I chose to let them sleep until she was born and Evelyn met her only moments later and tried to climb in the tub with us.

I love having my kids close during labor as long as they have a specific person there to just tend to them. That way I don't have to worry about getting them snacks, entertaining them, etc.

Effervescence December 1st, 2009 08:26 PM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
I can't decide if Jonah will be present or not. We haven't 100% decided on if we will go to the birth center or stay at home. If we are staying at home, Jonah will be here. If we go to the center, we would probably leave him here with my MIL. We live with my in-laws, so it would be really easy and I wouldn't have to worry about taking care of him at the center. He won't even be 2 years yet, so I think it would be different if he was older

Kelllilee December 1st, 2009 08:42 PM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Effervescence (Post 18152493)
I can't decide if Jonah will be present or not. We haven't 100% decided on if we will go to the birth center or stay at home. If we are staying at home, Jonah will be here. If we go to the center, we would probably leave him here with my MIL. We live with my in-laws, so it would be really easy and I wouldn't have to worry about taking care of him at the center. He won't even be 2 years yet, so I think it would be different if he was older

Courtney was 23 months when Nola was born. I think at that age it really depends on the kid. Courtney had a full understanding of a baby being in my belly. She'd see pregnancy posters (you know the ones that are a side view of mom's insides with a baby in there) and immediately connect that it was the same as the baby in my belly. So for her, I think she was ready. But a lot of kids that age aren't. Definitely a personal choice!

TeresaSuperMama December 3rd, 2009 08:57 AM

Re: Siblngs and homebirth
 
Siblings won't be present. Dh does not want the kids there and although I would be okay with it 6 kids running around would be a huge distraction for me. I think me telling dh we could get rid of the kids helped sway him to being okay with the idea of a homebirth.


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