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Effervescence March 20th, 2010 11:59 AM

When Someone Says Something Like....
 
"There's a reason that there are fewer women and babies in graveyards since we started giving birth in hospitals..."

what do you say? This was a comment on my facebook left by my mother's very opinionated (openly opinionated) best friend. I know I am opening myself up to criticism by being so public about my birthing plans. I blog about it, and leave facebook status updates about it etc all the time. I'm not shy to tell people what we're doing, just as I've never been shy about letting the world know any of my "strange" parenting/mothering methods. But I think this particular comment is just downright mean.

I know there have been recent studies released that show homebirth is just as safe as a hospital birth, and I also know that the US has one of the top infant and mother mortality rates in the world, but I can't find this information when I need it to show her that I'm not being wreckless, this is a valid and legitimate choice for giving birth. Does anyone have any good links that bear credibility (medical articles and such) anything else, she would dismiss as my hippie gobbledyguk (Ricki Lake included)

HappyHippy March 20th, 2010 03:48 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
I would say, "actually, when birth moved to the hospital there was MORE dead mommies and babies. Better understanding of pregnancy, birth, better nutrition, etc. were the reason for better birth outcomes, NOT hospitals". And you might want to add in there that in USA at least, we don't have the greatest birth outcomes for women and babies in the hospital.

tygrss March 20th, 2010 06:15 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
Here ya go!

Outcomes of planned home births with certified professional midwives: large prospective study in North America -- Johnson and Daviss 330 (7505): 1416 -- BMJ

What the Research Says

Effervescence March 20th, 2010 06:56 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
Jenn, that is what I wrote as a first reply pretty much, but then I changed it. But it kind of says the same thing. I expected her to be the most openly critical, but I thought she'd word it a bit gentler or more privately (privately being a family function in front of my family who is used to her being like that... not in front of all my friends most of whom support homebirth whole heartedly, and whom she offended)

Tygrss, thanks for the links! They're very useful!

Voodoo Lady March 21st, 2010 02:44 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
I think I'd say "you're pretty sick to tell a pregnant woman you think she and her baby are going to die, you *****" but that's just me lol

MrsPil March 21st, 2010 10:53 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Voodoo Lady (Post 19520873)
I think I'd say "you're pretty sick to tell a pregnant woman you think she and her baby are going to die, you *****" but that's just me lol

I'd be tempted to respond that way... But I think what I would actually say would be something like this...

While I can see how one might assume that were the case, studies have never found hospital births to be safer than homebirth. In fact homebirths have been linked to reduced unnecessary medical intervention (Olsen, O. Meta-analysis of the Safety of Home Birth. Birth. 24(1): 4-13, 1997), reduced rate of tearing and episiotomy (Aikins Murphy P, Feinland JB Perineal outcomes in a home birth setting. [Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, New York, USA.] Birth 1998 Dec;25(4):226-34), a lower combined rate of intrapartum and neonatal mortality and a lower incidence of cesarean delivery with an added benefit of a 68% reduction in cost (Anderson RE. Anderson DA. [Dept. of Economics, Centre College, Danville, KY 40422, USA. ] The cost-effectiveness of home birth. Journal of Nurse-Midwifery. 44(1):30-5, 1999 Jan-Feb.) as well as several other benefits detailed in even more recent studies.

It is unfortunate that we live in a society that does not educate it's women with such facts. It is especially unfortunate that those who suffer for it are pregnant and birthing women who need and deserve support but are instead met with fear mongering and horror stories. No wonder it's safer to give birth in Kuwait than California. (Giving birth in California more dangerous than Kuwait or Bosnia? Rise in mortalities puzzles experts)

Isaeph March 22nd, 2010 06:16 AM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
Honestly, my husband has been teaching me how to argue lately and here is what I KNOW he would say. He would say that NOTHING you say is going to change her mind, and that she's not looking to understand your reasoning...think about it, if you have to hammer it into her and give her every fact under the sun and you have this feeling like she still won't get it, she won't. So he would simply say to her "I don't recall asking your opinion." or "This isn't open for discussion." and that's it. If you go about defending yourself, she'll just keep attacking. I have a mom like that...I've learned this over and over. :lol: Your friends all know the info, so it's not like you posting all that would really benefit anyone. And if you do have any friends on FB that don't really know about hbing and are curious, they'll see your confidence in your decision and either research it themselves or come to you with questions.
HTH

laisydaisymama March 22nd, 2010 06:12 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MrsPil (Post 19525286)
I'd be tempted to respond that way... But I think what I would actually say would be something like this...

While I can see how one might assume that were the case, studies have never found hospital births to be safer than homebirth. In fact homebirths have been linked to reduced unnecessary medical intervention (Olsen, O. Meta-analysis of the Safety of Home Birth. Birth. 24(1): 4-13, 1997), reduced rate of tearing and episiotomy (Aikins Murphy P, Feinland JB Perineal outcomes in a home birth setting. [Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons, New York, USA.] Birth 1998 Dec;25(4):226-34), a lower combined rate of intrapartum and neonatal mortality and a lower incidence of cesarean delivery with an added benefit of a 68% reduction in cost (Anderson RE. Anderson DA. [Dept. of Economics, Centre College, Danville, KY 40422, USA. ] The cost-effectiveness of home birth. Journal of Nurse-Midwifery. 44(1):30-5, 1999 Jan-Feb.) as well as several other benefits detailed in even more recent studies.

It is unfortunate that we live in a society that does not educate it's women with such facts. It is especially unfortunate that those who suffer for it are pregnant and birthing women who need and deserve support but are instead met with fear mongering and horror stories. No wonder it's safer to give birth in Kuwait than California. (Giving birth in California more dangerous than Kuwait or Bosnia? Rise in mortalities puzzles experts)

THAT is fantastic and I may end up copying it verbatim at some point or another!

Effervescence March 22nd, 2010 06:29 PM

Re: When Someone Says Something Like....
 
Thanks ladies. She didn't comment back, but I'm going to see her on Good Friday at my parents' house and I know she'll bring it up again. Isaeph, I see your point. But she likes to "beat a dead horse." If I tell her it's not up for discussion, she'll keep badgering the point.

Luckily I don't live close to her anymore, so I shouldn't have to deal with it too much. It just really hurt what she said. Sometimes she just doesn't know how far is too far. Even my mom goes through spells where she won't talk to her because of this.


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