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mommybugnbugga January 9th, 2011 03:02 PM

questioning self
 
Since I was pregnant with ds, I wanted a homebirth. Where we lived when he was born it was against the law to have a homebirth. Well, now that we are in FL, I can have a homebirth and are planning one for this baby. However in the past day or so, I have started second guessing myself. Asking myself, is this really a good idea? Why do I want to do this? What if I decide I wanted pain meds? Can I handle this? I have had a natural birth before, so I know that I can handle it and my MW believes that half of the problems I had during labor and delivery were caused because I couldn't push the way I wanted to. When I pushed the pain away (what I thought you were supposed to do during delivery), the dr. didn't like how I was pushing and had the nurse move me around to what he felt was best. Which in turn caused a very painful internal and external tear. Knowing all of this puts me into even more panic. What if it wasn't because of the way I was pushing, what if it was something else? Is this normal? Or am I just crazy?

Twinkle January 9th, 2011 05:45 PM

Re: questioning self
 
I think having some doubts is normal, at least it was for me the first time. I had had two births already, one naturally, but when I was pregnant the 3rd time and planning my first home birth I had a lot of self doubt. I found that it helped talking to others and my midwife about the feelings, also reading positive birth stories and watching documentaries like The Business Of Being Born, those sorts of things always helped to reassure me.

Martha83 January 10th, 2011 09:37 AM

Re: questioning self
 
I agree with Christine. Watching positive birth movies (our midwife had these to borrow that were movies)....or the documentaries that are supportive of homebirth helped....Dont have doubt in yourself or your body....remember we are built to do this...midwives are trained to assist us...if they feel we are in danger at any point they will transfer us asap....although they are trained to handle things like normal complications during pushing...and they are trained to know which positions will help bring baby down without hurting you or baby...etc.....

Having faith in your body is number one....having faith in your midwife to know what to do is right up there with number one....if you still feel uncomfortable...then take it from there....some hospitals allow midwives to assist in labor in the hospital if that is what you are more comfortable with. Myself...I cringe when I think of hospitals and birth (for unnecessary reasons) and that helped me keep my faith LOL...

HUGS

HippyMomOf4 January 10th, 2011 10:27 AM

Re: questioning self
 
totally normal, i had a lot of these same doubts weeks ago.....now i couldn't be more excited for my homebirth:)

HappyHippy January 10th, 2011 06:11 PM

Re: questioning self
 
Having doubts is normal. I think it's best to remember that just because you choose and plan a homebirth doesn't mean it's set in stone. Yes, its true, complications in labor and birth can happen. If you want pain meds and you really can't handle it at home, you can transfer, if there is a problem occuring, you can transfer. I think during all pregnancies no matter where they take place there is a moment of doubt. Labor can be scary and there is so much unknown about it. I think it is also important to remember that many births take place without a gliche and to try to focus on positive thoughts. There is no point and no good to come out of negative thoughts as long as you keep an open mind.

andi2284 January 10th, 2011 07:26 PM

Re: questioning self
 
My last birth was a natural birth at a freestanding birth center, but I had a lot of the same doubts. Even when I was in labor, I was still doubting whether I was going to be able to handle it or not, and if I should just go to the hospital instead. The fact that I already planned to use the birth center helped push me to go through with it and I'm glad I did! Now we are planning a home birth with our 3rd and I find myself being excited about it. I'm not sure if doubts will set in again near the end, but I'm goign to try to take it day by day and remember to trust in my body again.


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