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-   -   Doula? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/2312233-doula.html)

lrowe70 April 25th, 2011 09:21 PM

Doula?
 
How many of you have used a doula for your homebirths?
Did you find it helpful?
What exactly did she do?

My husband and I are in the process of deciding if a doula is necessary. The birth class we take is taught by a doula that we really like, so we've already decided on who the doula would be. We just can't decide if we need her!

Sk8ermaiden April 25th, 2011 10:43 PM

Re: Doula?
 
I think having *someone* is helpful. My mom was there at my last labor and was a huge asset. My DH was super involved, and wouldn't leave my side unless someone was there for me. So mom brought is food/drink, and relieved him from applying counter pressure once in a while.

She is not supportive of a second homebirth attempt, so I am hoping the doula who taught my bradley class will be there. Plus, in the case of a transfer again, I would really like to have someone familiar with "the system."

mommybugnbugga April 26th, 2011 06:52 AM

Re: Doula?
 
I am having a doula this time. I haven't before, but dh and I had discussed it before we knew he was going to be deploying and decided we would. This way I have an extra support person during labor. That way if I am having a long labor and my dh needs a rest or a break for a few minutes, I will still have constant support. Plus in the event of a transfer she will be right there to help ease the transition to the hospital (the closest hospital to me is the ONLY one in the area my midwife cannot deliver at because they don't allow midwives to deliver there :rolleyes:) since my midwife can go with me but once my care is transferred then she cannot be with me any more.

Effervescence April 26th, 2011 07:43 AM

Re: Doula?
 
How many of you have used a doula for your homebirths?
I did not use a doula or have anyone besides DH for the birth of my first baby, which was in a hospital. Our second baby, our home birth, the midwife's assistant really helped me in the way a doula would, I think more than she even realizes.

Did you find it helpful?

I was so relieved when she came into the room. I felt more confident once she was there. I just remember I was in the middle of a contraction when she arrived but I still smiled just knowing someone was here for me and DH. I remember the first thing she said to me was that I was doing good and I handled that contraction really well. That made my confidence soar. I was in transition at that point, so I needed that encouragement, I was getting into the "I can't do this" phase, but between her support and that of the midwife, I went into the pushing stage with confidence. DH was wonderful, but he was scared and nervous too, and it's hard for him to have empathy with me in this moment because he can't give birth, his instincts are to protect and make the pain stop, a woman's instincts are to nurture and encourage. So the assistant, midwife, and DH all complimented each other in their support. They were all so important. I will never give birth without a doula or someone to act as a doula, again. I feel so passionately about the good that doulas can do for laboring couples, that I am working on becoming certified as a doula.

What exactly did she do?

A doula's job is to stay with the mother, help the father be involved to his comfort level, and support the couple through labor. Depending on what the laboring mother wants and needs, a doula can be effective support by just being present with encouraging thoughts and information about the birthing process. Some mothers want/need more contact. Some fathers need to be told that it's okay to touch or to not touch or told how to make their partner more comfortable.

My husband and I are in the process of deciding if a doula is necessary. The birth class we take is taught by a doula that we really like, so we've already decided on who the doula would be. We just can't decide if we need her!

Personally, I recommend it. I thought DH would be enough support with our son, but really he was going through this his first time too. He was nervous and scared, and just as clueless about me. I feel badly now that I suddenly expected so much from him, and I think he was just overwhelmed. If you've already established a raport with her, I would definitely do it. I would also recommend asking your DH what HE wants, if HE would want the support of a doula. But it is ultimately up to you and what you feel you will want/need.

beckiethedoula April 26th, 2011 10:37 AM

Re: Doula?
 
As a doula, I'm totally biased! I think every woman deserves and should have doula, no matter where they deliver or what kind of birth they're going to have!

That being said:
I've never used one... Mainly because I think it would be hard to doula for a doula, if you kwim, and also because I'm a solitary birther... I don't like too much touching or too many people around...

Martha83 April 26th, 2011 02:15 PM

Re: Doula?
 
If dh was going to say no to a homebirth I was going to hire my old midwife (who isn't practicing on her own right now since she's not at the center anymore) as a doula....but since he agreed to a homebirth...I didn't...We couldn't justify paying the extra for a doula when I'm already paying a bunch out of pocket for the homebirth...*sigh*....I've never had a doula before though...just wanted my old midwife lol...

lrowe70 April 26th, 2011 07:19 PM

Re: Doula?
 
Thanks for the replies, sounds like it's a good idea.
My husband is on the fence, but says if I really want it we can get one. I am worried that when the "big day" arrives my normally stable husband may freak out, so a doula would be good to have around.


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