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-   -   What is so offensive about homebirth? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/454035-what-so-offensive-about-homebirth.html)

jhmomofmany February 4th, 2007 09:55 AM

This question was inspired by a thread at the Sept. DDC. Somebody was questioning whether her wishes would be respected at a hospital and a homebirth was mentioned as something she should look into. Suddenly everybody obviously planning a hospital birth is offended. So why is it that the very mention of natural and/or homebirth should cause so much ill feeling? How can we advocate homebirth when the very mention of it illicits such a reaction from other mothers?

Frelle February 4th, 2007 11:35 AM

here are two things Ive run into:

1. their own feelings of inadequacy at their presumption that you are "so much better than they are because you dont need drugs", or that "the way WE ALL give birth is the RIGHT WAY, dont lead this woman astray into doing what YOU WACKOS do"

2. many mainstream women think it is negligent and stupid to put your health and your baby's health at risk just so you can be more comfortable.

I may go read the thread and see if I have any suggestions for you.

AH, the offended parties dont like it that wmen who have attempted to have natural births actually have things to complain about concerning the cascade of interventions. Those who believe or are married into the hospital "establishment" resent the fact taht any doctor might have an actual M.O. that is something besides "whats best for mom and baby" like their obessive need to cover their ##### with "sorry, its hospital protocol" or whatever.

I saw some moms chime in that had your back. Let them fight it for a while and then post again. It can suck being one of the lone natural birthing advocates. Wait till you graduate to a playroom and they talk about how they are choosing to formula feed, how their doc told them it was fine to feed baby cereal in her bottle at 3 weeks, how their 4 week old is crying it out because she needs to be on a schedule, and how they hit their 8 month olds hand for pulling mom's hair. I have stayed active in my playroom, but many of my playroom moms are for more active in Traditional Parenting or AP or babies or toddlers.

I feel ya. *HUG*

Kelllilee February 4th, 2007 11:42 AM

I feel you! I have similar problems in my DDC as well. I dont' really care what other people choose for thier birth so long as they actually get informed and don't knock other people's choices.

I just get fed up with so many people who go into their births completely uninformed about what will be going on and the risks of everything <_<

And it really irks me when people think the only reason you choose a natural birth is to prove you're "more of a woman" ARG! That's the most annoying response!

Isaeph February 4th, 2007 11:50 AM

Ah Frelle totally said everything I was thinking. I all but got booted on my pr for talking negatively about cio.

loving alissa and olivia February 4th, 2007 12:01 PM

I am sorry they feel that way. I honor you mommies that "had" the choice... I am military and i am sure I would have caught some grief... But my salutes to you... I am definately going to have an Oh... I didn't make it.. the next go around

bubblesispreggers February 4th, 2007 12:09 PM

I really don't understand what is so offensive about hb either. I am more offended by the moms who dont educate themselves enough to make informed decisions about their labor and birth. At least those of us who choose to birth at home have done so through research and information. I know that if something went wrong with one of our homebirths that we would catch #### for it but do you think the same would happen if a baby got accidentally scalped by the doctor during an ellective c-section? No way. Too many people trust what their doctor says to be fact without actually researching and finding out for themselves. I wish all moms were as dedicated as us homebirthers to being educated and informed!

Jenny

jhmomofmany February 4th, 2007 01:02 PM

Homebirth was brought up in a thread on another forum I'm on, too. This person says (paraphrasing) "Homebirth is great and all, but back in 1900 childbirth was the leading cause of death among women and we shouldn't forget that."

I asked for references to back up that statement. No reply so far. ;)

tygrss February 4th, 2007 04:45 PM

Quote:

Homebirth was brought up in a thread on another forum I'm on, too. This person says (paraphrasing) "Homebirth is great and all, but back in 1900 childbirth was the leading cause of death among women and we shouldn't forget that."

I asked for references to back up that statement. No reply so far. ;)[/b]
LOL!

Even if that were true it's not because women had birth at home. It's more likely because of infections from dirty equipment. Heck, even today in some countries almost all cases of tetanus are associated with childbirth because people just pick up whatever piece of metal they can find to cut the cord or sew the woman up (rusty scissors anyone?).

People just need to stop.

Even though I'm not planning a homebirth (although I am planning a natural birth) someone had the nerve to "remind" me that women died back in the days before giving birth in hospitals. My response was "(1) women die today IN HOSPITALS even with all of our technology and (2) even if technology IS the answer it wouldn't have helped the women back in 1900 because even the hospitals didn't have "technology." Antibiotics hadn't even come on the scene yet!"

That got them quiet.

viXen February 4th, 2007 05:27 PM

I am going to chime in here with why I think people get on the defense when home births are brought up.

I think alot of the time, people are afraid they are looked down on for having a hospital birth. Yeah its so common these days, but still. For example, breastfeeding. I am all for breastfeeding and I did it for a little bit with Dakota. But as a mom who went over to formula, I have experienced comments and things from people who thought that switching my daughter over to formula was wrong. I know that breast is best, but people made me feel horrible for my decision.

I think this is the same with birth... people know that natural, no pain meds, etc is best for them and the baby, but they are afraid they will be looked down apon for choosing medication and a hospital. So I find that people tend to get defensive right away to protect themselves, thinking everyone is out to get them!

Obviously no one is out to get anyone :lol: I think some people wish they did have the confidence in themselves to do it naturally (I am one of those people, I am trying to build up my confidence as we speak). I think some people react too quickly because of their own insecurities in their bodies. Remember, alot of people were brought up that doctors know best, sometimes its hard to let go of that!

JoyfulChaosMama February 5th, 2007 05:09 AM

I just have to stay away from those kind of threads, I have a tendency to get pretty sassy, so I'm just bowing out.

No one wants to look at the 'domino effect' of hospital 'protocol'. In the end, superhero doc rushes in and 'saves mom and baby'. Thank GOD he was there, Thank God for his training and expertise, he SAVED my baby, my baby would have DIED with a midwife or at home.

What they refuse to look at is how most (I am so tempted to say 'all' because in a healthy pregnancy, it's way closer to all) emergency situations could be prevented with a pro-active treatment, nutrition, time, exercise, etc... ahh, I'm over it.

Motherbird February 5th, 2007 06:11 AM

Luckily, there are a few of us homebirthers on the Sept. DDC, so youre not alone. We can back each other up. :smile:

abigailsilva February 5th, 2007 06:44 AM

ack, my hormones got the better of me and I was forced to respond.....***hangs head in shame***

jhmomofmany February 5th, 2007 07:46 AM

I guess any time you are really convicted about something you run the risk of speaking passionately and ticking people off. And I know this isn't a reaction specific to that particular thread...I know from experience that it happens all the time with a dozen different subjects! I just find it odd that those who "go against the flow" so to speak have so much confidence in their decision, while those in the majority demonstrate so much insecurity. Hmmm...

Anyway, I'll just have to keep trying to find the balance between advocating and being "sassy". :smile:


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