I am just popping in from Teen Mommies and Mommies To Be..
I just had a qucik question for you all. What made you decide to have a homebirth as oppose to a birth in the hospital?
My first birth. :lol: He was born in the hospital with way too many interventions after I had expressly said NO to things and had written a birth plan that the nurses apparently felt no need to read. With dd, I was going to a birth center for care, but I felt disrespected there too and it scared me that I'd end up with an unhappy birth experience with too many interventions again. So I went completely unassisted (after a LOT of research and prayer). I felt safest doing it that way, and I felt like my daughter got the best shot at a good start. And it went beautifully. I've said over and over again it is the MOST PERFECT experience of my life, and I doubt anything could top it...unless I had another UC...hehe...
I had an attempted birth at a birthing center (NOT affiliated with the hospital) with my first but ended up transporting to the hospital after 30 hours of labor.... due to many factors, I ended up getting a C-Section with her. My hospital experience was HORRIBLE. I never wanted to go back!
I had my 2nd at home and it was WONDERFUL!
Here is a sampling of what I loved about being at HOME!
No one pushing drugs
No IV (I could eat/drink what I wanted)
Wore my own clothes
Labored in my own home the whole time (No stressing out over when to go to the hospital... no having to ask to use a toilet... I just DID it! LOL)
Controlled my environment (heat/cool, lights, sounds, etc)
My health care providers came to ME! (yeah!)
No pressuring me to push before I was ready or to stop pushing when I was ready!
No threat of a C-section
No constant fetal monitoring (My midwives did use a hand held doppler on me several times during labor *especially during pushing*, but this was not a big deal at all!)
No episiotomy (or threat of one)
No one trying to force me into a forceps or vacuum delivery because I was taking 'too long'
No pitocin to deliver the placenta
Got to hold my baby RIGHT away and nurse right away
No one handling my baby at all until after the placenta was pushed out
No one taking my baby's blood or running any tests on them or forcing formula on it
No one coming into the room every 30 minutes to take blood or check my temperature or blood pressure
No one trying to force me to take pain killers afterwards (this happened a LOT at the hospital with my DD!!!)
I got to relax and be a new family with the people I CHOSE!!! (No having to ward off visitors like at the hospital!!!!!)
I was in:
using my toilet
eating my food
using my phone
wearing MY clothes
Didn't have to worry about getting sick AT the hospital (muuuuuuuuch higher risk of catching an infection at the hospital!)
My baby never had to go to the nursery, never had to get a "nightly bath" like they do at the hospital here, I never had to gripe anyone out about giving a paci or formula or sugar water.........
I could really go on and on LOL
Reading "lying down flat on your back in the hospital with an OB" birth stories, and then reading "squatting next to your own bed or in your own bathroom, maybe even in your own bathtub, surrounded by the people you love or maybe completely alone, doing it how you feel like doing it" birth stories.
Hospitals are for sick people. A full term pregnant woman and a newborn baby are not sick people. And not having to go anywhere in labor was a huge plus, too.
My first was a fairly uncomplicated hospital birth with interventions, but not a disaster or bad situation.
This time around, I had difficulty finding an OB who wasnt going to fight me on every issue. I had debated seeing an OB and just fighting to get my way and then decided that I really didnt want my primary memories of my birth being how I fought them off from the pitocin, or whatever. And I really dont see the hospital as a necessity in a normal birth... but I think in the beginning I was a little hesitant to really make that decision.
So I started searching midwives for my care - i found two - one birthing center MW and one homebirth mw. we interviewed them both & determined them both equally competent, friendly, personable, and affordable.
We then weighed the pros/cons of a birthing center vs. home birth.
Birthing Center: drive an hour for each of our appts, an hour for the birth, come home 4 hours after the birth, but no clean up, then back an hour the next day, and a week later.
Home birth: all the same equipment, but some extra preparation & clean up (which it was way less than I initially thought). She came to me, for my appts, and for my birth & for the next day.
We also took into consideration thta we didnt plan on having any more kids. It was our last chance. An out of hospital birth was an out of hospital birth,a nd so we decided on the homebirth - it was in our own home, you cant get any better than that.
And so we did - and mi so glad we did - i wouldnt do it any other way now!
I was ignorant with my first. I didn't know anything about birth. I didn't know how perfectly designed my body was for the entire process. No one ever told me. I didn't know how dangerous the things the hospital offered were, pitocin, epidural, demerol, vit. k, etc. no one ever told me. When i got the epidural, no one said, hey this has MORPHINE and a cocaine derivative in it, are you sure? Instead of making me feel safe and capable at the hospital, they threatened me with a c-section.
With my homebirth, god it was so beautiful. I still can't talk about it wouthout crying. Ina a good way! My mw was so wonderful. She stayed with me all day through the early part of my labor, we talked and laughed and had dinner together and it was so great. When it got hard she held me and they told me how strong I was. I was amazing, I could DO IT, they said. Their faith in me, gave ME faith. When my baby came out, MW caught him, but that's it, she just laid him under me, thus allwoing me to instinctively hold him and take care of him, and be the first hands on him, the way it's meant to be. They cleaned up made me coffee, took care of my other child and left us to bond as a family. I could go on forever, but that' the gist of it.
Everyone above stated many of my own reasons too. My first was born in the hospital, I was young, but I read everything I could get my hands on, had confidence in my body's abiltiy to birth gently and naturally, but, when it came down too it, I was very scared and intimidated by my doctor and faculty at the hospital. They all treated me with very little respect, and I left there with little confidence and my dignity shot. ~ Not a good way to begin motherhood.
Second time around I started seeing a group of CNM's, planning a hospital birth again. I began reading SO much more and broadened my horizons. I was part of a LLL group where a few women shared their homebirth experiences with me. My 4th month in to the pregnancy I ditched the CNM's, secured a wonderful lay midwife, and never looked back! :) 7 of my 8 have been born at home, and only a true complication would send me to the hospital.
I read a lot of other people horror stories, and having people poke and prod me wasn't what I wanted. And then I worked in a hospital and saw how bad things really were around here and I knew it would be home for me. There are about a thousand factors in my decision to homebirth but those are the ones that stick out at the moment.
I was lead to it through hard experience also. Our oldest came 15 weeks early, and I labored without pain medication but with just about every other intervension you can think of and an audience of (yes, this is a literal body count) 7 medical staff and 5 family members, including my FIL who had a view just as good as the doctor's. :blush: Not that I cared at the time, but that really is how I started to think that birth should be something between my hubby and me.
Birth #2 was hospital and I was not at all gung-ho on natural birth. I had an epidural, she spent her first two nights after birth in the nursery, I didn't breastfeed... and I had major attachment issues with her. I feel like in many ways I am STILL having to work on fixing something that should never have been broken between us.
Birth #3 I had a birth plan, I was gonna go all natural, and then I went into labor and the doctor was late to get a friend at the airport. He gave me pain meds and pitocin... he didn't even TELL me, I just overheard him telling the nurse. Hubby tried to advocate for me, but we were out of our element. While I was transitioning he was standing there literally with the scissors in his hand waiting for the episiotomy. This was the same doctor that told me he only cut "if necessary". I ended up with an episiotomy that nearly punctured my rectum. He stitched me up all strange and was out the door within a few minutes.
With #4 I went to the hospital yet again. That doc allowed DH to catch the baby. But, still, I was confined to bed in a strange place, with strange people expecting to "check me" every time they walked in the room. I ended up with being confined to bed and a monitor, and IV and another "necessary" episiotomy. I really resented the complete disregard for my modesty and dignity. I was up in the stirrups pushing and somebody kept running in or out of the room and leaving the door open! It was "just hubby and me" and the doctor and a nurse and everybody in the hallway. :rolleyes:
Baby #5 was my first homebirth and it was wonderful compared to the others. I labored quickly, delivered him painlessly (with NO episiotomy and NO tearing), and recovered physically within a few days. In fact, he wasn't even a few minutes old when we were joking about "next time". You do NOT hear that from women who have just given birth the hospital way! Usually it is more like "You are not ever touching me again!" LOL! For me, the only thing lacking with this birth was, again, the privacy issue. The midwife brought an assistant and an apprentice with her. They were all ladies I had known for months but their presence still felt like an intrusion on what should have been an intimate family moment.
Our sixth delivery was an unassisted stillbirth at 36 weeks, and even that was an incredibly painless, peaceful, and safe delivery for me despite knowing ahead of time that our baby had died. We prayed and cried and gave her a conditional baptism without hesitation or embarrassment. There were no outsiders, she was born into my hands, I found out for myself that she's a girl, and I needed it to be that way.
I haven't actually done it yet but I'm planning to birth this child, my first, at home.
I can't have an epi anyway because I'm deathly allergic to narcotics pain meds and I don't think I'd want any drug, allergic to it or not, injected into my spine. So if I'm going to do it drug free anyway, I might as well be comfortable at home, in warm water, than flat on my back in a strange dry bed.
As far as the baby is concerned...
In studying Psychology, we've learned that a person's own birth is the most physically and emotionally stressful day of the entire life, including any way the person could die. A home waterbirth just seems like it'd be less stressful on her.
Instead of being yanked out by the head and pulled into a freezing cold hospital room, handed to a nurse who rushes over to some cold weighing tables and then pokes her with all kinds of tests and shots... She'd be born into her dad's hands, in warm water, lifted out slowly, held by me, and no cold weighing, pokes, or shots.
Speaking of shots, they're going crazy with those. Another big reason I want to homebirth is I don't want my baby injected anyway with shots that I'm against her having. I've heard of nurses doing it anyway after the parents said no. They even want to give Hepatitis B shots in the first 24 hours! No way...
And for selfish reasons, the warm water eases labor, eliminates needing to be cut (ouch!) and I'd be in control. I think we're built to do this, women have been doing it since the beginning of time, and all other animals do it alone. Yay for us!
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