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-   -   yeah well..forget it. (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f341-home-birth/638373-yeah-well-forget.html)

KBeans July 8th, 2007 12:03 PM

i am just giving it up, im not getting a VBAC. the end. the doctor's im finding would have done it after ONE cesarean but not after 2 and we cannot afford the midwife, i looked into every option and if we do end up in the hospital with a homebirth then we don't even get any money back, so we spent unnecessary money, and possibly all that money to end up in an emergency c-section. believe me i have been fighting tooth and nail to get my VBAC and no one will do it, and although it is my choice, i know i can get away with it if im dishonest, i don't want to be dishonest and have to stress lying and worrying what if something happens while laboring at home etc....

i did get to talk to that new doctor and he was GREAT. i loved his disposition and his honesty, and he will be my doctor no matter what. he is all for natural birth and natrual methods and is compeltely ok with a 36 hour laboring mom. he just cannot do a VBA2C. he did explain to me that they hospitals now have a new tool the doctors pretty much forced them to get, it's a retractable and it allows them to do a c-seciton with a smaller incision andwithout havig to remove anything but baby, no more removing uterus and throwing it on your stomach to clean it etc...they can do everything with keeping it in you and like i said, a smaller cut. he said it is getting most moms out of the hospital within 1-2 days instead of 3-4 days and they are healing faster.

i don't want another cesarean but i also don't want the stresses that are going to come along with the VBAC. so whatever...i have 7 more months to see what goes on, but im guessing this will just end up in a cesarean yet again.


PS. i talked to my mom about my first birth, because i don't remember much from it, and she said she had never seen anyone high like i was after they gave me the demoral. that she even asked the nurse if i was going to overdose cause i went pale and was acting so crazy. she was so scared, she really thought i was going to O.D. and then i asked if i signed the cesarean papers or if she did and she said she remembers me signing something on my way INTO the operating room...which i was so friggin doped up i do NOT remember.....she did say i was screaming about how much pain i was in and how i wanted the baby out no matter how, but i wasn't really CONSCIOUS! i feel liek they did that on purpose, knowing i would start asking fro a cesarean because i was high. and my mom said the doctor was getting agitated and wanted to get out of there, he was tired of being there.

gosh i wish i could go back so bad.

anitagupta July 8th, 2007 06:04 PM

The whole medical system is geared towards c-section if you've had one already. Most insurance won't even cover a VBAC. We support your decision.

KBeans July 9th, 2007 03:22 PM

^^ well not so much after one cesarean, as long as you're educated and aware though. which i wish i had been...but i missed it by one and now seems like a curse for the rest of my life. although i have to say at least i can GET pregnant.

LaLa July 9th, 2007 09:53 PM

(((Hugs)))

Please take some time to consider things. You know that they cannot force you into another cesarean. You know this. The hospitals cant legally have a policy forcing you into a cesarean. Neither can doctors. Nor can they abandon you and refuse to deliver the baby vaginally if you are their patient. In fact, Id venture to say any doctor you took now would not be able to legally drop you as a patient if you insist on a vba2c.

((((HUGS))))

But, thats not to say that its not a tough fight, and a lot of stress. Have you considered unassisted? Have you taken the info on risks and how they are higher with a 3rd cesarean than a vba2c to your dr?

BTW - a video on VBA3C:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=2a4e8...n_id=1009&u tm_source=otm&utm_medium=email

I can understand not wanting to fight, though... I truly can.

Are there neighboring cities you could go to?

Lala...

MrsPil July 9th, 2007 11:34 PM

I don't know what you're feeling here, I imagine quite fed-up with the fight to get your birth but please don't give up. Flame the hell out of me for saying it but a healthy baby is not the *only* thing that matters. Not having an incision site matters, how you feel about your birth matters, your rights matter, your wants matter and YOU MATTER.

Please don't let an insurance company dictate your birth to you. They have no right. If you want a natural birth go in there and tell that doctor that he doesn't even remotely have a choice. I'm rooting for you!

KBeans July 10th, 2007 08:32 AM

Quote:

But, thats not to say that its not a tough fight, and a lot of stress. Have you considered unassisted? Have you taken the info on risks and how they are higher with a 3rd cesarean than a vba2c to your dr?

BTW - a video on VBA3C:
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p......n_id=1009&u tm_source=otm&utm_medium=email[/b]
ok im just an emotional wreck right now...i want to be able to do this so bad. and i did the SAME exact thing as her. i started working out and getting healthier and working on my stamina after my second. i knew i needed to get healthier and get myself in better shape and so i did. that part of this movie hit home for me. i always tell everyone at my gym that im training for a marathon - childbirth. i know i can do it, i just feel so confused....and im just in tears right now.

i have not been able to find any info on those stats you mentioned i should take to my doc, do yo have a link?

Butter July 10th, 2007 04:31 PM

I had a friend who had had 3 c's. She really wanted to VBAC with her fourth. She went to, I think, *12* different doctors until she found one that would "let" her VBAC. She had to sign all sorts of waivers saying she wouldn't sue the hospital or the doctor. She had a wonderful VBAC. For her fifth she wanted to birth in the birthing center where Cameron was born but the midwife could only deliver her in the hospital (the midwife's insurance dictated that). My friend decided to do it unassisted. The baby ended up coming very fast and they would not have gotten to the hospital or birthing center anyway. Soon after baby #5 was born they moved but I have since learned she had a sixth child, this one also at home unassisted. They cannot FORCE you and if one doctor says no try another or talk to other midwives. I think my friend was around 8 months by the time she found the doctor that would let her VBAC.

KBeans July 11th, 2007 09:13 AM

unfortunately i have talked to other midwives and doulas and everyone has lists of doctors in vegas that support VBACs. i have to every single one of THOSE doctors and none of them will do it VBA2C.

honestly, i just don't know what's going to happen. i have no clue what God has in store for us in the next 7 months, i have no clue when this child will be born, who know - it may come preemie in december or november. i hope not for the safety and health of my child, but no one knows. im just going to go with the flow of things for now, take a break from stressing it. i have been flipping out on everyone around me because my stress levels and depression have been sky high due to the constant "NO NO NO NO NO you can't do it"s....so im just going to put all my heart into praying about this and hope that it turns out the way it is suppose to. and i pray that is safely and happy for us all.

ps. i watched that movie by myself and just sat there bawling my eyes out. when dh got home i wasn't crying of course, and i had him sit down to watch it with me thinking since i already wtached it, i could hold myself together. and well i couldn't and i ended up crying and crying and ran upstairs to just have a moment to collect myself. dh came up and just hugged me...i think he sees now how much this means to me and how upset and exhausted i am over it.

KBeans July 11th, 2007 09:14 AM

unfortunately i have talked to other midwives and doulas and everyone has lists of doctors in vegas that support VBACs. i have to every single one of THOSE doctors and none of them will do it VBA2C.

honestly, i just don't know what's going to happen. i have no clue what God has in store for us in the next 7 months, i have no clue when this child will be born, who know - it may come preemie in december or november. i hope not for the safety and health of my child, but no one knows. im just going to go with the flow of things for now, take a break from stressing it. i have been flipping out on everyone around me because my stress levels and depression have been sky high due to the constant "NO NO NO NO NO you can't do it"s....so im just going to put all my heart into praying about this and hope that it turns out the way it is suppose to. and i pray that is safely and happy for us all.

ps. i watched that movie by myself and just sat there bawling my eyes out. when dh got home i wasn't crying of course, and i had him sit down to watch it with me thinking since i already wtached it, i could hold myself together. and well i couldn't and i ended up crying and crying and ran upstairs to just have a moment to collect myself. dh came up and just hugged me...i think he sees now how much this means to me and how upset and exhausted i am over it.

KBeans July 11th, 2007 09:15 AM

doulbe post. oops.

MrsPil July 12th, 2007 09:56 PM

Oh mama, my heart hurts for you! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) We're all here for you, no matter what!

joyfulmommy July 17th, 2007 06:40 PM

Valerie, I have to tell you how much I feel your pain! You are most definately not alone in this and if you ever need someone who's been there done that and is doing it all over, I am here to pm. I had 2 c-sections. I tried a vbac with my 2nd and it didn't work out. I am now pregnant again and wanting to try another vbac, but am not getting ANY support. NONE. So... I am coming to this board every now and again and just, wishing I guess. But I just wanted to jump in and tell you that you're not alone. :dothug:

CharmieCM July 18th, 2007 07:15 AM

Valerie, I hope that you're feeling a little better these days.

I wanted to share a story with you of a woman who forced her doctor to give her a VBAC. She labored at home until she was eight cm, then went to the hospital just in time for the doctor to catch her baby. He had no time to do a c-section. During her prenatals, she never really talked to him about it...she just went in, did her 5 minute prenatal and left. She never called him, never asked him any questions, never gave him the chance to tell her no. Never discussed a birth plan with him...nothing. With a good doula and/or a lot of determination, you could do the same thing.

Also, you might look into whether you qualify for www.carecredit.com and if you do, if the local midwives would accept it as payment. I'm in the process of registering my practice because it gives clients who have pay out of pocket another option.



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