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-   -   Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions! (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f32-homeschooling/1540140-frustrated-and-disappointed-myself-some-questions.html)

Blue_Jar_Mama April 28th, 2009 10:21 PM

Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
Hello all-

I feel like such a bad mama, because as much as I want my dd to learn at her own pace, I cant help but feel she should already know how to read, and it's my fault she cant yet. Comments from friends, or family also arent helping right now. :mad:
The, "Oh my dd had been reading for 2 years when she was 7...why is she so behind?" :(

I'm Amanda. This is our second year technically homeschooling, although I count Preschool too. :)

My dd is 7 years old. She had a pretty severe speech delay, which put her far behind on learning her letters, sounds,etc. So, we've spent the last school year, really just focusing on learning that since she's been out of speech therapy March 2008. She knows all the letters of the ABC's, most of their sounds, but she just cannot seem to put them together. We have tried work books, computer games, phonics tiles, flash cards, everything. She cant seem to form two letters, or more together to a word.

She can sort of sound out words like cat, hat, bat, run, sun fun if she says each sound in a row, over and over but in the end I think I'm sort of giving it away,lol
She's a wiz at math, and very good at science, and even naming states but she just cant seem to pick up the phonics/reading. Any ideas?


I know in time she WILL learn, but honestly pressure from others, makes me feel awful she hasnt picked it up yet. She still stutters quiet often every day which I'm told she will grow out of, but I feel its affecting her pronounciation of letters, and sounds, thus slowing her down. It's just a vicious cycle!


I have very little support with homeschooling aside from my parents, and my inlaws. Everyone else thinks we are nuts, and are hurting them educationally and I'm so ashamed to say, I have actually ecretly thought about sending her to school for a year to hopefully catch her up,even though I never would.

I guess I just need a little guidance, and assistance from those who might have a late reader. Thanks and sorry for the vent

Butter April 29th, 2009 04:18 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
Odds are good she would not be reading even if you sent her to school.

Cameron is 7 1/2 and he's been struggling to read. He's doing pretty well now and can read level 1 step into reading readers. It's a far cry from my daughter who learned to read at 4 1/2 and was reading chapter books by 7 1/2. Different kids are different.

What really helped Cameron were the Leap Frog Letter Factory and Word Factory DVDs.

Some kids just need extra time for it to click. A friend of mine growing up had two siblings who did not learn to read until age 12. The one is a PA (physicians assistant) today and the other asked for a college level physics textbook at age 16 and read and comprehended it just fine.

MamaAnna April 29th, 2009 04:45 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
With her problems it isn't surprising that she isn't reading. It may be difficult or flat out frustrating for her. Have you considered taking her for reading classes? They may have a few tricks up their sleeves to help her start reading and help you know better how to keep her reading.

Kids really are all different though. I was reading my mom's college books by the age of 3, my DD couldn't care less until she was 4, and DS is already showing a strong interest at 2. This is just another way that no two kids are alike.

grunig April 29th, 2009 04:50 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
If you think about it she isn't really "behind". She didn't get the opportunity to start learning at the same age of the other kids you are describing. Honestly if you really think about she is right on the curve that most kids would be. Usually you introduce the letters, sound, etc and it takes them a good bit after that to really put them together.

Even my kids who have no speech delays were very different. My oldest didn't really, truly grasp and decide to start reading until he was 5.5. My middle child was reading at 4 years. I would just tell your friends to back off, and that if she were in PS she would probably be even farther behind bc chances are she would get lost in the shuffle somewhere.

Sorry to rant I just hate to see someone so discouraged by the ignorance of others. Please stick around here, you will find LOTS of support. :)

If you think about it she isn't really "behind". She didn't get the opportunity to start learning at the same age of the other kids you are describing. Honestly if you really think about she is right on the curve that most kids would be. Usually you introduce the letters, sound, etc and it takes them a good bit after that to really put them together.

Even my kids who have no speech delays were very different. My oldest didn't really, truly grasp and decide to start reading until he was 7. My middle child was reading at 4 years. I would just tell your friends to back off, and that if she were in PS she would probably be even farther behind bc chances are she would get lost in the shuffle somewhere.

Sorry to rant I just hate to see someone so discouraged by the ignorance of others. Please stick around here, you will find LOTS of support. :)

Jenneve April 29th, 2009 06:15 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
Please don't let others discourage you. I know it's hard, but just remember that by keeping your dd home & going at her pace, you're giving her the best education she could possibly have. By learning at her own pace, she's given the opportunity to fully comprehend what she's learning, and not just moving on because the teacher says it's time to.

You could say that my oldest ds is "behind" in math because he would be going into 5th grade next year and he hasn't learned division yet. But, he's learning at his speed & is fully comprehending a concept before we move on to the next. Whereas in public school he would likely be failing math or at least struggling to keep up because they jump around so much.

My middle ds will be 8 in August is just beginning to read level 1 step-into-reading books (or 1st grade reading level) without too much trouble. My youngest ds is 6 and is reading (cvc words) by sounding out each letter individually. Ageeing with Heather here, the Leap Frog dvd's are great for helping with reading!

Keep coming around here & be encouraged that you are doing the best for your dd. :)

BensMom April 29th, 2009 08:27 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
It's possible she has a learning disability that affects language but not things like math/science. Have you had her evaluated? Have you checked out the learning disabilities board? What about taking her someplace like Sylvan just for the language arts part of her learning? I agree that putting her in school probably wouldn't help unless she was being seen one-on-one by a special ed instructor. She'd be frustrated in a regular classroom, and the bullying she'd get from other kids would probably shut down her willingness to learn at all. Other subjects would begin to suffer.

MissyPrincessEha April 29th, 2009 10:25 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
I really hope Jo will see this one and write you up a really good reply.

I just wanted to say I agree with the other ladies and I hope to see you around here often!

~hsingtreehouse~ April 29th, 2009 11:13 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
Yes, Jo would be a tremendous help here!

I would not worry yet. She had a speech delay that affected when she started learning. That makes a big difference.

My son is 5.5 and he had a speech delay that was corrected with a year of speech therapy when he was age 2-3. At 3, I felt behind because he was just learning to talk and other kids were starting preschool. That is what encouraged me to homeschool him. NOW, he is speaking better than most 9 year olds, gets compliments on his speech all the time and his pronunciation and articulation. He is also reading well now and has not only caught up, but far exceeded his public school peers. Your daughter may very well do the same. She may start reading "Cat" and then in a span of a month jump to chapter books once it clicks. Each kid is different and learns at their own pace. Keep working with her and helping her. She will eventually get it.

If she has not been evaluated for other delays (i.e. dysgraphia which can affect speech AND reading), then you may want to do that too.

Blue_Jar_Mama April 29th, 2009 08:09 PM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
Thank you everyone. She can write well, and her hand writing is right on track. She can ask someone how to spell their name, and just from memory of them telling her, she will remember how to write it days, or weeks later. My only other concern is that she puts MANY letters backwards. I had wondered if maybe she was Dyslexic. We had also suspected when she was younger she may be 'slightly' Autistic, which I doubt now but at the time I was going to have her tested, I actually thought when we started speech therapy they might mention it but they didnt, and after therapy she just BLOOMED.

She became a totally different child. Her speech equiv. when she was first evaluated at the pathology center was 3yrs 0 mos. :(
When we ended, she was right in her age range. During speech, we agreed we didnt want to over load her, so instead of working on letter sounds, we worked on books with repeating phrases, to help her speak. Although she still stutters (which hurts her when trying to sound out letters) it's more under control now, so that unless there is alot going on, or she is very excited she can control it enough.


I'm going to look into the Leapfrog dvds as mentioned. She has a Mickey Mouse Phonics computer game, that I have noticed she seems to 'get' more now, she's not just guessing. we just very recently finished closing our garage in, to make a homeschool room. So, my hope is that with the new room and less distractions from brother lol she will be able to focus, and pick it up soon. If not, then oh well. I know she will eventually.

It's just hard to hear comments from others, about why she cant read yet, even though she is SO smart. Speaking to her you would never know she's just 7 (aside from her size,she's itty bitty!) She's self conscious about not being able to read and wants to SOOOO badly. My heart just breaks for her.



Thanks everyone.

lpimentel April 29th, 2009 09:26 PM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
also look at Starfall.com they have great interactive thing like heather said some kids don't pick up reading until they are twelve. Just keep trying things until it clicks.

Sshery April 30th, 2009 07:25 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
My daughter had a difficult time with reading. It was frustrating, but I can tell you that now at 13, she is never without a book to read. Because we homeschool, she was able to get fluent with reading and comprehension on her own level. I can tell you that she was not reading well in 2nd grade either. It seems like my son just did it on his own, but that just goes to show you that every child is different.
I can say that Madison still hates to read aloud. I think it is just a left over phobia from the days when she struggled with it, but she can read aloud well.
My advice is to read to her A LOT and present books to her that will encourage her to want to read. For Madison, it has been the American Girl series.

~Jenn~ April 30th, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: Frustrated, and disappointed in myself, some questions!
 
I know it can be so hard but please try and put the ignorant comments of others out of your mind;).

Your little girl sounds like a bright, creative kiddo...reading will come and when it does she'll bloom with that just like she did with her language!

Like others have mentioned there are many, many stories out there about children who didn't learn to read until 8, 9, 10, 11 or even 12 and went on to excel academically.

You're doing an awesome thing for her by homeschooling, keep up the good work and keep us posted!

P.S. - I'd most definitely second the Leap Frog Videos (The Letter Factory, The Word Factory and Code Word Caper..there may even be more by now!).


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