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mater bibit March 10th, 2010 06:53 AM

GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
HE IS ONLY FOUR!

Does that not count for something? Am I being overly sensative here? I wouldn't put it past me .. could be the hormones .. but it is really irking me when my son is asked if he did school/was at school today or asked if he can do particular things. Perhaps he just looks big for his age. Sometimes people are surprised to learn how old he is because of his size and vocabulary .. so .. I guess I am just being overly sensative. It's just that when they ask, if I haven't done anything with him that day or he can't do what he's been asked, I feel lazy! I know .. people can't MAKE me feel a certain way and I have no reason to feel lazy (right??) for not "doing school" 5 days a week with my JUST turned 4 year old child. Of course, correct me and slap me if I'm wrong. I don't know much about the public school system in this country but, what is the average 4yo (Feb. birthday) doing in relation to the public school system? I mean, are they in school 5 days a week learning how to write? I was under the impression the he's not even the age for starting PreSchool until THIS September.

Is this just what comes with homeschooling? If so, please help me get over this now.

BensMom March 10th, 2010 07:37 AM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
The trend is changing. When my parents were in school, there was no such thing as kindergarten. When I was in school, there was no such thing as preschool. These days, preschools start at age 2 or 3 (Ben went to preschool just after he turned 2... not my idea, of course!!), and pre-kindergarten starts at 4. Children come to public kindergarten at 5 (or 6 if they're red-shirted like they are here) expected to already know the basics (colors, numbers, letters, sounds, very basic reading skills), and they're expected to read fairly well by 1st grade. It's a push for kids who aren't ready or whose parents want to give them a normal childhood.

Forget what other people say. If your child wants to learn something, he'll learn it. He tells you when he's hungry or tired, and he can certainly tell you when he wants to know "Mommy... what's that?"

... and yeah, my son is 4, but he's in size 7 clothes. People mistake him for a 6 year old most of the time and wonder why he behaves like a 4 year old. :rolleyes:

AmAnDaMo March 10th, 2010 08:01 AM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
My little one is also very tall with an advanced vocabulary, so people are always surprised to learn that she's only four. Preschool is all the rage here (most kids do two years, although many do three) and it seems to be the only thing people talk about when we're at the park or her different activities, etc.. Everyone looks at me like I have three heads when I say we do preschool at home, but no one has ever said anything negative about it. In fact, I find that it kind of intimidates people and they start trying to justify why they send their own children, and they can obviously see that she's doing just fine.

Most kids in our area can write, do simple math, and read to some extent coming into kindergarten, although of course kids come in at all different levels. But that's what is so wonderful about homeschooling...you get to do things on your own time line when your child shows interest and is ready, and you can go as quickly or as slowly as you need to. :) I know it's sometimes easier said than done, but don't worry about what other people think.

janetathome March 10th, 2010 11:54 AM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Just another sign of the times of pushing our children to excel.
But sometimes too, I think that people just want to start a conversation
with a child, and they don't know what else to say or ask them.

therevslady March 10th, 2010 03:20 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Yeah, a lot of people really don't know how to talk to kids. So they start with assumptions. People will ask Nevy about school when we are in line at the grocery store and stuff like that, and she'll just quickly say that she does school at home and quickly changes the subject by telling them all about her ballet school or soccer or something.

I also find it irritating when people start making excuses for the reason they send their kids to school and stuff... or when people are looking for some super specific reasons why I home school. My primary reason is that it works, so why change it?! People are so insecure about things.

Try and not let other people's ignorance or insecurities bring you down!

Motherbird March 10th, 2010 03:29 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Oh yeah, some people will ask about a little one being in school, because so many kids go to daycare and I think it makes parents feel better if they call it "school." So 1 and 2 yr olds are even going to "school!"

I do not appreciate being questioned either. It sucks! But it happens and will continue to happen from time to time. Sorry, but you are probably going to have to get used to it. Don't let it get to you though. And don't forget, even if you didn't "do school" that day, it doesn't mean he didn't learn anything! :-)

BensMom March 10th, 2010 03:47 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Motherbird (Post 19392921)
And don't forget, even if you didn't "do school" that day, it doesn't mean he didn't learn anything! :-)

:ditto:

mater bibit March 10th, 2010 04:38 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Yes, I need to remind myself of that. I need to remind myself of the reasons we homeschool to begin with and the benefits we enjoy. Whether he's ahead of expectations or behind, it's all the same deal - we're supposed to be going at his pace, not the pace of outside expectations, high or low. Perhaps I should write myself a letter to read on days I feel pressure, one way or the other, to remind me of the things I would tell someone else :lol:

And yes, I'm pretty sure some of the questions are just people making friendly conversation and the issue on many occassions really lies with me. I need to work through my own insecurities.

I appreciate you ladies. :)

Sandra314 March 13th, 2010 04:47 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
I can understand your point about people asking you questions like that. I have a four year old son and ten year old son and sometimes I get extensive "inteview questions" about what we do and what my kids know. Through the years I have seen it as an opportunity to explain to others what homeschooling is and what we learn.

Now it is a bit difficult with my own extended family...
My own mother questions me what we did today and what are we covering this week. When she comes to visit I feel like it is OPEN house for our homeschooling because she want to see what we have done.

We have been homeschooling for over 7 years and my mom still thinks this is temporary. :rolleyes: I told her " No Mom we are planning on sticking with homeschooling our children."

BensMom March 13th, 2010 07:07 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandra314 (Post 19431944)
We have been homeschooling for over 7 years and my mom still thinks this is temporary. :rolleyes:

:rofl:

dalynnrmc March 13th, 2010 08:30 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Irks me when people ask, too. My youngest is 5 so yeah, all of mine are of "school age" - but it's nobody's business if we did school today or not! Or this season or not. Stick it. :p

What? Oh, sorry. :blush: I live in Texas. :D

mater bibit March 15th, 2010 07:16 AM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
I love you ladies. lol

Sandra, you're amazing woman to endure that. lol That must require quite some grace.

Quote:

but it's nobody's business if we did school today or not! Or this season or not.
I may add this as a sticky note to the fridge. lol

You know, it doesn't help when you have children inclined to tell people they did nothing or learned nothing regardless of what they've been doing or learning. :rolleyes:

BensMom March 15th, 2010 07:59 AM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
All kids say that. Even adults say that! The easiest answer to any question is "I dunno!"

mater bibit March 15th, 2010 12:17 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
It seems not all people realize that though. I know I noticed I respond the same way (because I'm figuring that with certain people, they're not really interested in the specifics anyway) .. but certain people bring up their response (or lack thereof) to me as if it's noteworthy or humorous ... but then, same certain people do that about a number of things that aren't noteworthy and/or humorous about the children and what they do or say ... the common factor being, these people don't have children so ... maybe it's just those people that I need extra grace to deal patiently with because they still act like they know so much and what is best while being totally shocked when a 2yo has a temper tantrum or a 4yo starts acting rebellious and rude after an hour of overstimulation.

..sorry ... minor tangent .. lol

Sandra314 March 15th, 2010 02:12 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by woolknittinMama♥ (Post 19445299)
I love you ladies. lol

Sandra, you're amazing woman to endure that. lol That must require quite some grace.

I think it does. We have a homeschool blog and my mother reads it too! :whistle:

dalynnrmc March 15th, 2010 05:25 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
LOL We've taken a HUGE hiatus since about... July. :blush: It's really not been not-schooling, but more un-schooling. And I'm totally NOT an unschooler. We just set the textbooks down and grabbed learning as it came. I have made my oldest do some from time to time, and if there's interest we've picked up something here or there, but mostly... yeah. Not much since July. I think we needed the break. :)

So last month we visited at my parents' and my dad asked my youngest what he'd been learning in school. B-man looked at my dad like he was nuts and said, "I homeschool." Dad said he knew that but what was he learning. B-man, still with the nutty-guy look on his face, says, "Nothing!!" :lol: :lol:

Dad grinned at me and looked back down and said, "You just don't THINK you're learning because it's your mom. Tell me your ABC's." And of course he did, and then went on to count for him, and told him about all the venemous snakes in Australia. :rolleyes: But, he's not learning anything. ;)

mater bibit March 15th, 2010 08:11 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandra314 (Post 19451456)
I think it does. We have a homeschool blog and my mother reads it too! :whistle:

On the other end of the spectrum, there are certain others in our family who don't show any interest at all ... I'm going to go to bed before I end up complaining about that too. :rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by dalynnrmc (Post 19453704)

So last month we visited at my parents' and my dad asked my youngest what he'd been learning in school. B-man looked at my dad like he was nuts and said, "I homeschool." Dad said he knew that but what was he learning. B-man, still with the nutty-guy look on his face, says, "Nothing!!" :lol: :lol:

Dad grinned at me and looked back down and said, "You just don't THINK you're learning because it's your mom. Tell me your ABC's." And of course he did, and then went on to count for him, and told him about all the venemous snakes in Australia. :rolleyes: But, he's not learning anything. ;)

Your dad sounds like quite a blessing to have in the family. :)

in_mommy March 15th, 2010 08:55 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalynnrmc

So last month we visited at my parents' and my dad asked my youngest what he'd been learning in school. B-man looked at my dad like he was nuts and said, "I homeschool." Dad said he knew that but what was he learning. B-man, still with the nutty-guy look on his face, says, "Nothing!!"

Dad grinned at me and looked back down and said, "You just don't THINK you're learning because it's your mom. Tell me your ABC's." And of course he did, and then went on to count for him, and told him about all the venemous snakes in Australia. But, he's not learning anything.

Your dad sounds like quite a blessing to have in the family.



I would LOVE for my dad to be as supportive as yours!!! Mine told Whit that when you homeschool you don't get to take spring break and it really upset her. My mom makes her feel guilty the few times she took some stuff over there to work on, she told her that if she was in regular school she wouldn't have to be doing the work there and could be having fun instead. :( I cant wait to move to get away from this!!!

BensMom March 15th, 2010 09:15 PM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by in_mommy (Post 19456327)
Mine told Whit that when you homeschool you don't get to take spring break and it really upset her. My mom makes her feel guilty the few times she took some stuff over there to work on, she told her that if she was in regular school she wouldn't have to be doing the work there and could be having fun instead. :( I cant wait to move to get away from this!!!

I tell mine the opposite. I don't lie. I tell him exactly how it REALLY is at PS. He wants no part of it. I attended PS my whole life. I come from a family of teachers. I'm a former teacher. It's not all cherries and whipped cream. :rolleyes: I told dh I was purposely letting my license expire because I NEVER want to go back to teaching PS. I worked at McD's for 6 years and loved it. If we're ever in a bind, I wouldn't think twice about working there again.

mater bibit March 16th, 2010 06:47 AM

Re: GAH! I just need to vent for a second .. please excuse me
 
There's some baloney in that too ... many schools require all kinds of work to be done at home in fact I remember reading a news article about that expectation being increased in certain areas which equates to even less parent/child time .. and then there is summer school and whatever to make up for all the time wasted through the rest of the year. I also think of it the other way ... if I had homeschooled, consider all the time I would have had free during the week that I instead had to spend sitting around at school waiting on someone or something rather than being able to simply get my own work done and then be free to go.

There was an awesome substitute teacher in my primary school. He was so awesome beause he did things completely different. At the beginning of the week he put up on the board all the things that needed to be done for the week and then let us at it in whatever order we chose, we would just have to go up and have the worked checked when we completed something. If we were done early and had spare time at the end of the week we were permitted to use that time to quietly occupy ourselves with our own activities. It sure beat all the sitting around that occurs when doing everything together .. or trying to.


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