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-   -   How would you handle this? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f280-inlaws/1744853-how-would-you-handle.html)

mom2nate October 20th, 2009 04:43 PM

How would you handle this?
 
So I found out a few days ago from a basically stranger that my mil and two sils have talked about me to her and anyone else that would listen (this lady is a friend of one of sils). So I found out that apparently I have denied Nathan a relationship with his grandparents (in laws), I don't allow her to be with him for any extended amount of time, etc. Which is all bs. So what gets me is that they are constantly and I do mean constantly running their traps to anyone that will listen about how horrible I am and blah blah blah.....I knew/know that they talk about me all the time but finding out from a total stranger that these people were telling her this at a gathering just really bothers me. I would like to say I don't care that they are talking sh*t about me nonstop but it really does bother me. My husband has confronted and flat out asked MIL several times if she has said things people have told me she said and she flat out denies every bit of it. Right now I am still mad and I want to call mil or go to her house and flat out ask her to her face why she has done this and when is it going to stop. Another part of me wants to be who they think I am. If they are going to accuse me of denying them a relationship with Nathan then why don't I do just that? Truth is they have the same access to him as my mom does they just choose to not be involved but somehow it's my fault.

What would you do? Ask her about it or just forget about it? I hate having to just keep go around her like she is a saint (what everyone else does) and keep pretending that she does no wrong. Right now I'm so mad I'd just like to punch her in her European nose :)

Lilmom October 21st, 2009 09:19 AM

Re: How would you handle this?
 
Having been in the exact same situation I can tell you that if your MIL/SILs are like mine (which it sounds like they are lol) confronting them will do nothing. They will deny deny deny and then turn it around and do it MORE with the added bonus of "oh my DIL is crazy, she thinks I'm making stuff up when she just can't handle the truth."

So don't do it. IMO.

The best thing that you can do is : 1) nothing. It only makes you look better if you handle all the crap your ILs dish out with grace or 2) try to get some of these people together with your ILs at a get together and then try to get them talking. Get DH in a position where he can discreetly hear parts of their conversation. Then hell know for sure that mommy dearest is full of ****.

mom2nate October 21st, 2009 11:09 AM

Re: How would you handle this?
 
I think I have decided to ingnore them all. Deal with their dumb a**es when I have to otherwise don't give them the time of day. Although part of me wants to not be made out to be a liar so why not do what they accuse me of :)


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