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Lil_Mama2B May 9th, 2013 07:52 PM

What do you think?
 
If you have/want to have multiple children ideally would you want them close in age or widely spaced apart? I know its early but now that I have one I want another! (not for at least two years though)

So ideally what would you want?

WENDYLL22 May 9th, 2013 08:21 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
If you had asked me all throughout my pregnancy with Latham even though it was a breeze and I enjoy every second I would have told you DONE! If I am completely honest though with Latham I had that instant feeling of love. I am not really sure why with him as opposed to being all kinds of awkward with Madison. I want another child sooner rather than later....but I want to give Latham and Madison the most attention I know I can provide at this point first.

mommysc2 May 10th, 2013 06:21 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
Ok, I have 3 children all 7 years apart. I did not plan them to be that widely spaced. It has it's good point and bad. Good points: the older children can help you, you are not chasing about more than 1 small child, going to the store is not super stressfull and you can bond with them one at a time, for example....when the 2 olde ones are in school you spend quality bonding time with the baby....I did that with all three. DD1 had all my attention cause she was the only child, then when DS was born she was 7 and she was in school so t was me and baby at home and now that Sophia is here both kids are in school and it's me and baby.

Bad points: each kid is at a different age group so when you o places as a family it's tough: amusement parks, vacations etc.....

Honestly, if I could do it all over again, I would do it the same but many people love to raise their children very close in age but for me I think I would be overly stressed.

marybeth76 May 10th, 2013 06:38 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
My older two are 22 months apart and I LOVE that. They are best friends and play together all.day.long. It was hard for a little while but honestly now it's like having two kids the same age so it's very easy. They enjoy the same sorts of things, they watch the same shows, play the same games, go to bed at the same time, etc. And having them be able to entertain each other has saved me soooo many times.

We homeschool so I wouldn't get a break anyway, even if they were older. Our lives are a little wild and chaotic at times, but it's the best kind of chaos. Lincoln doesn't have his own quiet room where I put him for naps; he is just with us all 24/7 and he has to learn to blend in and be part of the group. I think that's good for him though.

I am desperately wanting to adopt, and I KNOW it's crazy, but I really would love to adopt 2 siblings who are about 2 and 3 years old. I feel like those ages would fit in so well with our family and really round out the age gaps. So I am obviously a fan of having children closer together in age.

MammaWannaBe May 10th, 2013 12:23 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
I feel really back and forth on this. Pre Vivi I wanted to wait till she was 2 to start trying for #2. But now I am seriously considering TTC when she is 1. I sort of like the idea of having my kids close in age. I feel like I am in the thick of things right now with the diapers, strollers, etc etc that I might as well get it out of the way not to sound crass. But, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure we are only having 2 so it makes me sad to think I would be all done with kids at 26 or 27 years of age.

Clearly I'm not entirely sure at this point lol.

joellejello May 10th, 2013 12:45 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
We have two and wanted 18-30 months in between. They are a week shy of 2 years apart, so I'd say we hit our goal! It's rough right now, newborns are so needy and 2 year olds are starting to test thier limits, and we have 2 in diapers for now, but I love it, they will be close enough in age to play together, and it's just perfect for us.

Sawyers_Mommy May 10th, 2013 05:35 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
I always knew that whenever I had kids that I wanted them close together. I wasn't sure exactly how close but no farther then 2.5-3yrs. Sawyer and Marshall are almost 25mths apart. It was hard in the beginning when Marshall was super fussy and I was having more problems with PPD/baby blues but now it's pretty easy for the most part and I love how close in age they are! Some days I feel like pulling my hair out but I think every mom goes through days like that no matter how close their kids are. Me and my brother are the exact same age difference as my two and we were always close.

As for other children, I'm not for sure. While I was pregnant I really thought I had it set in stone to wait 4-5yrs then have two more close together. But anymore, now that things are a lot easier, I really think I would like TTC when Marshall's 1.5-2yrs. I'll probably want to even sooner then that but we'll more then likely wait until then so I can lose weight... who knows though!!!

LadieBug May 10th, 2013 07:00 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
Before having kids, I wanted them close together- I wanted then to be 2 years apart in school. After having my first daughter, I just never felt "ready". I had an awful tear that took well over a year to be fully back to normal. And that made me too scared to go for it again. My body just didn't feel ready.
As time was running out for my kids to be 2 school years apart, we decided it was time to try again. We did the "NTNP" for a while, bc I was too scared to just go for it. I just never fully felt ready. But I knew I wanted another. Then I became pregnant with Lucy. She was scheduled to be due in January, so 3 school years apart from my first daughter... But she came early, so they very well could be 2 years apart after all.

For me, it's tough having 2 little ones. I can't imagine I'd they were closer in age and both needing me and feeling spread even thinner. We've decided that "if" we have another, it won't be til Lucy is closer to 3.

minalyn May 10th, 2013 08:59 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
Ideally I'd like to wait till Evan is potty trained. In reality we'll give it about 2 years. I'm 27 so hoping to be pregnant with #2 by 30.

Xtapolapocet May 11th, 2013 05:03 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
I just turned 34 this year. Because of our history of losses and the length of time it took for us to have David, we have decided to start trying at 8 months. We really don't have time to be too selective on having another baby because of my maternal age; so I suppose ours will be pretty close together. Oh well.... http://dinarvets.com/forums/public/s...ault/shrug.gif

mrssws May 11th, 2013 06:41 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
I have two stepsons 15 and 8 and seeing how my sisters (2 of them have twins and one with triplets) I'm glad they are spaced out. My youngest stepson was 9 months when me and DH started dating and DH has full custody so I went through the potty training, terrible twos, etc and I would have been stressed if I had LO to take care of too (and it doesn't help I'm still having complications from my c-section and still in pain too) So I think it worked out for the best. And they are GREAT helpers!!

mojomama May 11th, 2013 10:26 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
Two to two and a half has been perfect for our family, and if there's another baby, we'll try for that same spacing. My two oldest are three and a half years, and it was too long, imo. They're just barely too far apart to be good friends, and that was the experience I had with my younger sisters. Three years was too much for us to really be good friends until we were older teenagers/adults. My younger kids are all best of friends and do everything together.

Briar08 May 11th, 2013 10:31 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
I have 5 kids and we have done every spacing possible LOL.

ODS to ODD 5 years

ODD to MDS 16.5 months

MDS to YDD 3 yrs

YDD to YDS 9 years

So there is almost 18 years between my oldest and youngest.

Honestly it truely depends on what you are doing in your life at any given time. I waited 5 years bc I was a teen mum and had to finish highschool and college.



My ones that are 16.5 mos apart are extremely close. They never lacked for playmates. But they fight alot.

My ones that are 3 years apart are close, they dont fight really and it was easier.

My ones that are 9 years apart...I like that LOL. She can hold the baby. They dont fight.

lovelyenchanted May 11th, 2013 02:17 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
I honestly love the gap we have, which is about 6.5 years. ODD is pretty self reliant on things like getting dressed, getting her shower (I have to help a little) and she helps a ton with her sister.

We dhaven't even decided if we want to go for a 3rd. I think parts of us would really like to try for a boy (but still be very happy with a 3rd girl) but we also want to be better off financially. I want very badly to go back to school and need to at least finish my RN or BSN. I want to go for my Master's but could put that off long enough to have a baby if I at least had the BSN... I need experience time before jumping in to my planned area of study for my master's anyway. I could technically get my BSN done in less than 3 years, but it all depends on when I can actually get my classes in.

So, for us, it will be at least 3 years, and probably no more than 5 IF we decide to go for another. I would like it close to 4-5, but I'm not getting younger, lol. If we waited the full 5 years, I'd be nearly 35, and I don't think I would try beyond that.

mal91011 May 11th, 2013 02:36 PM

If it had been a perfect world and we hadn't started our family so late in life we would have had 2 kids around 4-5 years apart. But it's not a perfect world, so we're having one and done.

nursingmama May 11th, 2013 09:10 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaWannaBe (Post 27355118)
I feel really back and forth on this. Pre Vivi I wanted to wait till she was 2 to start trying for #2. But now I am seriously considering TTC when she is 1. I sort of like the idea of having my kids close in age. I feel like I am in the thick of things right now with the diapers, strollers, etc etc that I might as well get it out of the way not to sound crass. But, on the other hand, I'm pretty sure we are only having 2 so it makes me sad to think I would be all done with kids at 26 or 27 years of age.

Clearly I'm not entirely sure at this point lol.

DS1 and DS2 are 19 months apart and it is awesome having them so close together. Leo will be turning 2 next month right about when Felix is 5 months and they are already buddies. :) Leo loves helping with Felix and doesnt like going anywhere or doing anything without him. First thing every morning he runs to say hi to Felix and give him a kiss. It isnt too hard (even though Leo has hit the terrible twos :eek:)

Leo is potty trained so we only have one in diapers which makes it easier I think.

We want four kids and are shooting to have them all 18-24 months apart

PickyNicki May 12th, 2013 06:34 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
Ours are all 2 1/2 to 3 years apart. I felt like I could give my baby more attention and let them be the "baby" of the family before we had another. They fight quite a bit but are close. I think my two youngest will get along better because they're both girls. Our poor son is in the middle and fights with his older and younger sisters, but I think he and Clairre will get along well. They both have more laid-back personalities. Our 9 & 2 year old actually play together pretty well.

d_tops May 13th, 2013 09:24 PM

Re: What do you think?
 
We just started working on #2. :)

We're not getting any younger, and want them spaced closely. DH is 7 years from his closest sibling, and I'm 5 years from mine, and we wanted ours to have more in common as children. We know having more than one in diapers is tough, but any age spread comes with its own challenges. And, finally, we've learned the hard way that babies do not come when you plan them, so we might as well get moving and see what happens.

I think we would have skipped preventing altogether, but my body needed a little rest from being pregnant. So... we'll see.

mal91011 May 14th, 2013 01:09 AM

Eeeeeeeep I can't believe one of us is already working on number 2!!

Sawyers_Mommy May 14th, 2013 05:49 AM

Re: What do you think?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by d_tops (Post 27362145)
We just started working on #2. :)

We're not getting any younger, and want them spaced closely. DH is 7 years from his closest sibling, and I'm 5 years from mine, and we wanted ours to have more in common as children. We know having more than one in diapers is tough, but any age spread comes with its own challenges. And, finally, we've learned the hard way that babies do not come when you plan them, so we might as well get moving and see what happens.

I think we would have skipped preventing altogether, but my body needed a little rest from being pregnant. So... we'll see.

We have two in diapers and it really isn't hard! Yeah we spend more on wipes and diapers then we would if he was potty trained but not that much more. He only goes through about 4 diapers a day :) I would LOVE for him to be potty trained and we've worked on it some but he's just not ready.

Anyways just wanted to tell you IMO that it's not hard having two in diapers :) Good luck TTC!


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