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-   -   I swear the next time, I am going to freak out! (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1882-june-2013-playroom/2596066-i-swear-next-time-i-am-going-to-freak-out.html)

Karenna November 16th, 2012 06:19 AM

I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
Ever since I got pregnant and told a bunch of mommies here in town and at church that I will be having a repeat c/s, after I DO they look at me in disgust! :( THEN ask why I just don't go for a vbac? I then proceeded to ask them if they have ever had a vbac or C section and 9 times out of 10 they say no! it is much more easier for a woman who does not have the chance of a uterine rupture to say to have a vbac! Grrrrrrr! I am so sick of people giving c/s mamas a hard time. Its not like we c/s mamas give VB mothers a hard time :( sorry ladies I just had to vent as it just happened again this morning lol.

lalap November 16th, 2012 06:29 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
That sucks. *******.

OMG. It bleeps *****?

phantomsgrl11 November 16th, 2012 06:31 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
I completely understand. Throw your facts and statistics at me but the only one making the call is my doctor and us. Trust us to do what is best for us and our child. Or back off *****es lol either should work. My doc and I are leaving all the options on the table and will decide if I can vbac with an ultrrasound two weeks before my due date. DS never progressed into the birth canal his head was too large lol.

mommy220 November 16th, 2012 07:36 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
That is so rude, you should totally flip out on them!

CartersMommy November 16th, 2012 08:08 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
It is unfair... we all make choices for ourselves and our babies. I am the biggest cheerleader for natural birth mommies and home birth mammas. But I have to have csections. From pregnancy number 1 I had no choice my uterus was designed in such a way that there is no safe way for a vaginal delivery. I feel like there are no cheerleaders for c-section mammas only a lot of questions as to why and comments on how unnatural it is. Just be confident in you and let them think what they want to! You are a great mamma :)

Kalynas_Mom November 16th, 2012 08:09 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
I would just tell them "based on my medical history my doctor has advised me to have a repeat section and not have a vbac (not that its any of your business how I bring my child into the world)"

jhmomofmany November 16th, 2012 08:23 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
some people should wear their lips like scarves. <_<

I've learned to avoid the subject of homebirthing because I've honestly gotten similar reactions about how I must be crazy (or sometimes they say "brave" when they really mean "stupid") or what if this or what about that. It's like the opposite end of the spectrum, but the same reaction. In your situation, if you WERE planning a VBAC, you would probably get the same crap just from a different set of haters. If avoiding the subject doesn't work then telling them point blank that they are being rude or nosey probably will.

rcjh12 November 16th, 2012 09:31 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
I learned with my 2nd to just decline to get into details. Giving birth is such a person thing and so many people feel that "their way" is the best way that there is no reason anyone else should ever do it differently. So when I get asked anything I usually just say "we'll see what the baby decides to do when it is time", or something like that.

navywifey2003 November 16th, 2012 09:35 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
I'm sorry you went through that. I do believe in educating yourself about all the risks associated with whatever method of deliver you decide. I get the samething for my natural births and my homebirth. When I was planning Everett's I had someone posted a blog about dead babies from homebirth on my fb wall. In the end I have my views on birth but I am not out to make people feel bad for their choices but that doesn't say the same for others.

And while its none of my business if you have a repeat but the risk for uterine rupture after 1 c/s is less than 1%. It doesn't give them the right to treat you that way though.

MrsLat November 16th, 2012 05:28 PM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
Boo people can be really insensitive. They don't know your history or your potential medical risks. I was not given the option for a VBAC and I even went to a pro-VBAC doctor and hospital. It just wasn't going to happen for me due to medical complications from my previous delivery.

Just blow them off and remember it isn't HOW your baby gets here, but that they get here safe and HEALTHY and with your uterus intact!!

MamaSkunk November 16th, 2012 06:15 PM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
I feel kinda bad for CS mommas...cuz you guys have to have major surgery to have your babies. So CS mommas miss out on being able to experience things the same as VB. They shouldnt judge you cuz they dont know your medical history and they may not be smart enough to realize...obviously...that CS mommas often feel guilt over having to have a CS...have regret over not being able to have a VB....and have often a longer healing time. These ladies shouldnt be so dang rude!! Whatever happened to manners! I am a natural birth mama and totally wish i could do homebirth like navywifey n jhmomofmany..(jealous!) But everyone has different medical needs...and CS mommas should be respected too. :dothug:

zkat November 16th, 2012 06:53 PM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
I tell people when they have a medical degree specializing in high risk birth, they are allowed an opinion in how I bring my child into this world. Until then I will defer to my OB

Farmers-wife November 16th, 2012 09:00 PM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
Tell them you don't want to rag out your vag. They will be so shocked by that they won't be able to start on you about your birth choices.

lalap November 17th, 2012 03:43 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmers-wife (Post 26777323)
Tell them you don't want to rag out your vag. They will be so shocked by that they won't be able to start on you about your birth choices.

Bahahahahaha!!!

Karenna November 17th, 2012 03:51 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
You guys are the best! :) it feels awesome to know that you all are supportive! Xoxo

wanttobeinvienna November 17th, 2012 04:23 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
Yeah, It's insane how much advice people think they should give to mothers!

With my older two, I bottle fed, instead of breast fed...There was a VERY good reason why I made that decision, but didn't feel the need to tell the random women on the street, in the mall, at my church, etc. why I made that decision. The comments that were made to me were constant and HURTFUL!!! I was made to feel like the WORST mother in the world....

Point is people are unbelievably judgmental and speak before they think! And it is SOOO frustrating!

QueenCrafty November 17th, 2012 06:44 AM

Re: I swear the next time, I am going to freak out!
 
Sometimes I feel like mothers never win. There is always someone that will give you grief over every choice you make whether it is the way you deliver your child or how you feed them once they're born. I was a wuss for getting an epidural with my first, but then I was crazy for having a med-free childbirth with my second. I was given grief for breastfeeding my second, but I'm sure I got nasty glares for using formula with my first. I just try to ignore the naysayers. I am happy with the choices I have made and don't need their input to make me feel better about myself.


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