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-   -   Gtky #7 (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f75-large-families/2126290-gtky-7-a.html)

shari626 October 8th, 2010 05:48 AM

Gtky #7
 
What a crazy day I had yesterday! I wish I had a pair of RUBY slippers to take me HOME! There really is no place like home. Momma said there would be days like this.....

Speaking of moms. Tell us about your relationship with your mom. (I apologize in advance if this is a touchy subject for anyone who has lost their mom or has a rocky relationship with their mom)

Do you find yourself saying things that sound like your mom?
Do you think you parent like your mother did?

Let's hear about your mom!!

Kierasmom October 8th, 2010 05:56 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
I've always had a rocky relationship with my mom. Very long story.

#5in2005 October 8th, 2010 08:09 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
I have a great relationship with my mom, we're not BFF (anyone can be your bff, only one person can be your mom) but we're close. I parent a lot like my mom did, she is matter of fact, and we always treated her with respect (just like I expect of my kids). I am different though in my parenting, I make much more of a point to tell my kids how we feel about them (growing up it was just assumed you knew that you were loved), we never did anything fun because I wanted to, and we had to work all the time, but on the other hand this prepared me well for being the mom of a big family. (the work aspect that is).

*~Amber~* October 8th, 2010 08:22 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
My parents divorced when I was 5 and I was raised by my dad. My mom didn't start acting like an adult until I was about 18-19. I don't act like her at all. I am more like my dad.

shari626 October 8th, 2010 09:02 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
My mom was a single parent (parents divorced when I was 9) and worked to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. She was a good mom, did what she could, and wasn't overly affectionate. She was more of a "tough love" type mom. I do not parent at all like her. She wasn't overly affectionate and we didn't do much "kid" type stuff. (We really couldn't afford it) My mom and I argued a lot and didn't see eye to eye on parenting issues. She thought breastfeeding was "tying you to your baby" and attachment type parenting was crazy talk. She told me to feed my baby cereal at two weeks old.

When I was 30 - At Christmas, I learned that my mom had pancreatic cancer. She died on March 1st 2001. She was strong and independent. I miss her so much and feel sad that she never got to know my children or even meet my boys. :( There are still days that I cry that she's not here.

Just_Marie October 8th, 2010 10:33 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
my mom is gone. She always said to not baby talk her kids, and I don't do that with my own, she was really into promoting independance and encourage their growth. I am the same in that regard. She was pretty detached from us, I am a much more attached, in tune mother than she was.

shari626 October 8th, 2010 07:30 PM

Re: Gtky #7
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MarieJ (Post 21775849)
my mom is gone. She always said to not baby talk her kids, and I don't do that with my own, she was really into promoting independance and encourage their growth. I am the same in that regard. She was pretty detached from us, I am a much more attached, in tune mother than she was.


That's a good word to use to describe my mom too - detached. I like it. Sad though - but true.

myblueyez October 9th, 2010 08:26 PM

Re: Gtky #7
 
We have a good relationship now and talk almost daily, we did go through our rough patches though..
My mom was great at letting us be ourselves and express our individuality, whether that be in our clothes, hairstyles ( I rocked the ducktail in 2nd grade, & in 3rd I shaved lines in the sides and painted them - geez does that show my age or what?) music, decorating our rooms. She was also great at instilling a work ethic in us, if we wanted something we had to work for it and earn it.. But she was also very affectionate, we always got hugs and kisses and said I love you...

Do you find yourself saying things that sound like your mom? LOL yes sometimes I do, then cringe later when the kids aren't watching...
Do you think you parent like your mother did? To a certain extent, when it comes to promoting my kids individuality and independence yes. Where I am different is that I am much more open with my kids and they know that no matter what they can come to me, even if it's something I don't want to think/talk about, sex drugs etc.. Growing up, things like that just weren't discussed, heck I didn't even tell my mom I was pregnant at 17 until I was over 6 months along, even though I knew that it wouldn't change her love for me, I think I just knew it would dissappoint her and so I put it off til I couldn't hide it anymore...

ForeverMommy81 October 9th, 2010 10:23 PM

Re: Gtky #7
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kierasmom (Post 21772651)
I've always had a rocky relationship with my mom. Very long story.

Me too :-/

8miraclez October 9th, 2010 10:31 PM

Re: Gtky #7
 
I have a good mom, love her lots, don't agree with her much, get along some of the time. I pick and choose what I liked and didn't on how to raise my kids. I'll never be able to prove myself to her, but no longer need her approval. She lives in another state so we get along just fine :)

Sassafrass October 14th, 2010 08:17 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
I was always super close to my Mum. She lives 3000 miles away so we have a telephone relationship mostly now.

She has made decisions in life since my Dad died(18 years ago), that I dont agree with, but I keep my mouth shut. I figure she is 70, raised 9 kids, she has room to make a few bad decisions :)

MamaJessie October 15th, 2010 06:41 AM

Re: Gtky #7
 
When my mom died in March I first could only focus on the positives, then the negatives, then only on the positives. Now I think I have a bit of perspective and can see her somewhere in the middle. We were close in some ways, in that I saw her almost daily. We were not close in that she had some sort of personality disorder that made her very mean and distant. That and her drug/alcohol problems.

I can see a little bit of her in me when I bake cookies from scratch and try to think of how to be economical with groceries. Or when I forget to sign school work for the kids. Unfortunately I also see her in me when I am being snarky to my husband or yell at my kids.

I know I do not parent like my mom, but like to think that I embraced her positive attributes and can let that part of her live on.


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