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Rachael84 December 9th, 2013 06:07 PM

My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
So I'm pretty angry at my obgyn and not sure how to go about this. 3 weeks ago when my husband was at my apt, he asked the dr how possible it is that our baby will get hematomacrosis, a disorder he has that isn't THAT serious and just causes elevated iron levels. The dr said he'd write a referral to a genetic counselor who we could ask at the hospital i'm delivering at. We told his dad about this, and he said he doesn't recommend us going because 1. it isn't serious, 2. the counselor will probably assume we're considering abortion, which we absolutely aren't. Anyway, today the dr asked about that apt, and I said we decided not to do it. He said it isn't optional and we have to go. I was thinking, what??? since when did referrals become mandatory, especially when it's something that's not life threatening to the baby??? Hubby will have to take a day off to do this, over something we honestly don't care about finding out. What should we tell him??? this made me angry. I mean, I don't want to make him mad since he IS delivering the baby, but at the same time, I find it very strange.

Nel December 9th, 2013 06:56 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Did you ask why its mandatory? Can you just get the appt for the referral with the specialist and then call him and ask him if you have to do it?

Rachael84 December 9th, 2013 07:00 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
I asked why, and he said something along the lines of how he wrote it down in my records and he gave me the referral. I still don't see how that's a legit reason. I'll call tomorrow and find out if I have to do it, but I think they'll most likely say no.

mommy2b43 December 9th, 2013 07:16 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
I would find a new OB to be honest. I don't like a medical professional thinking they have the right to dictate personal decisions. I'm assuming this is something you can test for after the baby arrives right? I agree with your FIL that they will possibly counsel you for an abortion. Is there anything you can even do about it in utero?? Doctors are not god. I am thankful that my doctor appreciates that and takes my concerns, hopes, and desires into account. I respect his opinions and trust him completely. It took me a while to fine him (he's the third practice I've been to and I searched for a while online and asked for referrals). I am so glad I didn't settle though...I don't think you should have to either!!!

Lyndsey2013 December 9th, 2013 07:19 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
I would also find a new OB. We switched last time at 20 weeks and couldn't be happier.

Rachael84 December 9th, 2013 07:24 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Today was actually a spur of the moment apt since I called in worried that every couple days I've had this leaking of watery discharge every time I woke up (turns out it's a bad yeast infection). He kept saying why are you worrying, so I told him I don't know what's normal and abnormal since this is my first. He made me feel kinda upset/guilty about being worried! I left feeling uncomfortable.

We would be going just to talk about the possibility. Can't even test until after the baby is born, so this is why I don't think it's a big deal. I wish my husband wouldn't have even brought it up at the 15 week apt.

A friend suggested NOT switching since all my records are at this office. I told my husband before that if he made me feel uncomfortable and sorta upset at this appointment, think about how he might be when I'm giving birth. I feel like he isn't that understanding. I honestly don't think I worry as much as other stories I've googled, and I think going in with large amounts watery discharge was a legit reason to get checked.

joanna26 December 9th, 2013 07:25 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
That is ridiculous. My DH also has hematomacrosis and it honestly isn't that big a deal at all as long as you are diagnosed reasonably young. His doctor told him the odds that his child could inherit the disease and I want to say it was fairly low but he is actually going back for a follow-up tomorrow so I'll have him ask again and report back:) I would seriously consider changing OBs. Any decisions about speaking to a geneticist are completely up to you and your OB gets no say in the matter (especially for what is a fairly minor condition).

Rachael84 December 9th, 2013 07:33 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
It made me so uncomfortable because he was actually talking to me in a pretty stern voice that we have to go. It made me kinda upset. Like what else will he force me to do???

Only thing is, the hospital I'm delivering at has my blood test records and ultrasound results. I'd need to find one who delivers there for that reason, and also because it's one of the best for maternity, so I'd like to stick with them.

*CAMM* December 9th, 2013 08:16 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
You can take your medical records with you...they can not stop you from doing that. YOu walk in fill the form out and leave with any and all records that you wish. I switched OB's at 37 weeks last time...best decision I ever made.

lovemylittlemiss December 10th, 2013 04:29 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
I would also switch. You are the patient and it is your right to refuse any and all medical treatment (including referrals). He has ZERO right and power to tell you anything is mandatory! It really grinds my gears when doctors act like they can tell you what to do and go on power trips! Don't forget that YOU are HIS boss and you can fire him any time you want by finding a different doctor!!

inyourhonor December 10th, 2013 06:30 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Never let them push you around, they may be caring for you, but ultimately every choice is YOUR decision. I'd switch as well. Your friend is wrong, just because your records are there doesn't mean it's not hard to take them.

I moved 4 1/2 hours away from where 2 of my kids were born and all 3 of my kids medical records with their Drs were. I filled out 3 one page forms and had them within 2 days. They cannot stop you from taking them.

Panda December 10th, 2013 06:52 AM

I would switch if he is making you upset now think about how much he will irritate you at 7,8,9 months pregnant!

girlsofsummer December 10th, 2013 10:49 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Dump the doc!

Rachael84 December 10th, 2013 11:01 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
A teacher in my husband's science dept is a former obgyn. He said he knows my doctor, and says he's good, but "a jerk to women." Makes me wonder why he went into this profession if that's how he feels, lol. A friend of mine told me about zocdoc.com, so I'll call some of these doctors to see if they deliver at the hospital I was planning to deliver at (like I said, I'd rather not switch it since they're one of the best here for maternity).

He also said the reason why he's telling us we need to go to genetic counseling is to cover his *** in case something happens and we want to sue him. Dumb... so either I stick with him and we go, or find another. I'm gonna call around later.

sarav December 10th, 2013 11:44 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
I changed OBs just recently. There are a lot of OB practices at the hospital we are delivering at, so it wasn't hard to find a new doctor that delivers there. I like my new OB so much more. She walked into our 1st appt and said "so I reviewed all of the records you gave me...". Just that and I knew this one was already better than my old one. My old OB didn't even look at her computer chart on me until she sat down in the room. Call me crazy, but I think a doctor should at least skim your chart before she walks in the room so you feel like she knows you and cares about your well-being.

I think it is better to switch doctors now then decide at 34 weeks that you really don't want this OB to deliver you.

MelChicago December 10th, 2013 01:12 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
It seems like you're well on the way to switching, which is fine and totally up to you. It's important that you feel comfortable with your OB.

That said, I don't think it's reasonable to automatically assume a genetic counselor will encourage you to abort. I know nothing about the condition you mention, but from what I know of genetic counseling, what they'll likely do is just discuss your odds, possibly offer some testing on your DH and baby if you want it (which insurance might not otherwise cover without a specialist order), suggest health care options like supplements, and arrange for additional prenatal monitoring or neonatal care if necessary. It doesn't help anyone to jump to conclusions or automatically assume the worst, OR to deny yourself and your baby the chance for extra care that could help.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel defensive, and again, think it's just fine if you want to switch OBs. Depending on your insurance, some practices get extra money when they process referrals. Who knows if that might have something to do with your OB's attitude (your refusing to make the appt might have affected how much $ their practice could bill for) but it's not something you need as a factor in your prenatal care.

Rachael84 December 10th, 2013 01:53 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
I ended up finding a fairly big office with mostly female doctors who deliver at the hospital I'm at. They got good reviews online. Now I just need to deal with getting the records at my other office.

sarav December 10th, 2013 09:31 PM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Rachael84 (Post 27848643)
I ended up finding a fairly big office with mostly female doctors who deliver at the hospital I'm at. They got good reviews online. Now I just need to deal with getting the records at my other office.

I was sneaky about my records. All of my labs were available to me online, so I printed them myself. Then I called and convinced one of the office staff that I wanted to keep a set of my own records (the ultrasound reports) at home. She faxed them right over. Those were the only records that were necessary for me to transfer, so I was able to avoid the time they would drag it out for and the fee. It's surprising how much faster a patient can get their own records when they don't mention leaving the office compared to when you want the records transferred to a new doctor. They even want the request in writing. I didn't have to do any of that.

Rachael84 December 11th, 2013 07:19 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sarav (Post 27849697)
I was sneaky about my records. All of my labs were available to me online, so I printed them myself. Then I called and convinced one of the office staff that I wanted to keep a set of my own records (the ultrasound reports) at home. She faxed them right over. Those were the only records that were necessary for me to transfer, so I was able to avoid the time they would drag it out for and the fee. It's surprising how much faster a patient can get their own records when they don't mention leaving the office compared to when you want the records transferred to a new doctor. They even want the request in writing. I didn't have to do any of that.


They told me to send a fax request and then pick them up. I don't think I have to pay a fee.

dindin December 11th, 2013 07:23 AM

Re: My obgyn is angering me and idk what to do???
 
Definitely switch Drs. You have the right to all your records, the worst is that they ask you to pay a small admin fee for copies.
If you feel bad you can always come up with an excuse about moving, insurance or whatever. No point in staying with someone who makes you feel bad. He definitely is trying to cover his ***, and doing it in a nasty way because you are always allowed to decline genetic testing/counseling.


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