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-   -   Second ultrasound (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f77-moms-and-expectant-moms-multiples/2208652-second-ultrasound.html)

SarieP January 5th, 2011 05:29 PM

Second ultrasound
 
Well today I went to my regular OB for my first visit. Everything was going fine, we got all our information, signed all the paperwork, got our goodie bags, bloodwork, all that. Then DH asked if we were having an ultrasound and she said she could give us one if we wanted to see the babies. DUH!

So we go into the room and wait for her to come back. This was the registered nurse BTW....she does all the first time visits. Anyway, she comes in and starts the ultrasound and the first thing I see is one of my babies moving all around! It was waving the little arms and legs and going nuts! I was transfixed by it and said "Is that the baby moving around?"......the RN didn't answer me and then she says "How many did they transfer?" We said 2 and she said "Do you see what I see?" Yup, it's triplets. She said she had to get a physician to confirm so she leaves the room. We were in total shock and I started crying. I always just wanted one baby and I just started getting used to the fact that we were having two. The Dr. came in a confirmed what she had seen.

I have been crying all afternoon. I am so upset. I don't even know what to think but I am not happy about this right now. DH is doing WAY better with it then I am. He said "As soon as I saw that baby moving I was a goner". It's really sweet how he keeps telling me everything will be fine and it will be all good. I just don't believe him. This is CRAZY :(

CrystalAnne January 5th, 2011 05:44 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
:hug: I can't imagine the shock of finding out about TRIPLETS! We are still recovering from the "surprise, there's another baby in there" twins from our 22 week u/s. Just give yourself some time to adjust. Lean on that fantastic-sounding hubby of yours and let it sink in.

There are support groups in bigger areas for moms of mulitples and expectant moms of mulitples. Maybe they would be able to help you out?

Smashley January 5th, 2011 06:19 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
OMG OMG OMG!!! You are having TRIPLETS?!?! I would be mortified myself (I was when I found out it was twins), but I bet you will get used to the idea as time goes on, and will want the best for all three of them. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I had nothing but negative feelings when I found out about the twins. When they said I could lose one, I was almost relieved. Now, I feel absolutely terrible for thinking that way, but it is scary thinking about carrying multiples. As the weeks have gone on, it has gotten way easier. I've accepted the fact I am having two, and I am starting to become happy about it, and even excited!

I wish so much good for you... I am not sure if you are keeping it secret, so I won't say anything on the DDC, but I don't fret! You will do so well, and those babies are going to do so well! I will say a tentative congrats because I know you aren't excited about it.....yet, but when you do... there it is!

wait- they only transferred two? So that means that a set is identical?

Just_Marie January 5th, 2011 06:38 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
trips! wow! Take it one day at a time, let this grow on you as the twins did ((hugs)) and love to you

Celry January 5th, 2011 06:41 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Congrats on the triplets. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I'm sure you'll get used to the idea. I know it's going to be hard, but it eventually gets easier and it's so much fun to watch multiples interact. I'm sure watching 3 play together has to be even more fun than having 2.

All of us here know how hard it is to have 2, except for our triplet moms. We're here to support you. We all know it isn't always easy. So, feel free to vent to us and look to us for support.

angeleyes04 January 6th, 2011 03:57 AM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Congrats on the triplets! I agree with the other ladies, although it may not seem like it now, you will get used to the idea. I remember when I saw my ultrasound with the twins I bawled my eyes out too. Unfortunately it wasn't happy tears at that time because was thinking about all the "bad" stuff that can happen to myself and the babies, how I was going to take care of them (financially, emotionally, etc). Now they are here and I can't imagine my life without them. :)

Just take things one day at a time. (((HUGS)))

SarieP January 6th, 2011 11:28 AM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Smashley (Post 22633390)
OMG OMG OMG!!! You are having TRIPLETS?!?! I would be mortified myself (I was when I found out it was twins), but I bet you will get used to the idea as time goes on, and will want the best for all three of them. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I had nothing but negative feelings when I found out about the twins. When they said I could lose one, I was almost relieved. Now, I feel absolutely terrible for thinking that way, but it is scary thinking about carrying multiples. As the weeks have gone on, it has gotten way easier. I've accepted the fact I am having two, and I am starting to become happy about it, and even excited!

I wish so much good for you... I am not sure if you are keeping it secret, so I won't say anything on the DDC, but I don't fret! You will do so well, and those babies are going to do so well! I will say a tentative congrats because I know you aren't excited about it.....yet, but when you do... there it is!

wait- they only transferred two? So that means that a set is identical?

I felt exactly the same way...all negative feelings at first. I was just getting used to the idea of carrying and having twins when this got thrown on us. I have ALL negative and depressive feeling about having triplets. There are so many things that can go wrong or get messed up with these 2 bubs. I am not happy at all and I have been crying constantly since we found out. The appt I had yesterday was the first appointment that I was not nervous for because I didn't care if there was one or two in there! And, just like you, I felt horrible for thinking that way but I didn't want to have a high-risk pregnancy, I just want to be normal. Yes, they did transfer two so yes one of them split. And according to my research it had to have split RIGHT after they put them in because they all have their own sac.

We are considering selective reduction. I know a lot of people don't believe in it or wouldn't do it and I really do not want to hear any negative comments or "this is what I would do" because it's already a tough decision. We have to think about our family and our future and my health and the babies health. I feel like I will be depressed this whole pregnancy if I carry on with 3. I would have to go on early bed rest, lose my job, DH would have to get a second job, etc.... It's all too much to deal with and I don't like we can mentally/emotionally do it. I have to go back to my fertility clinic tomorrow to discuss our options. If anyone has any experience with this procedure I would love to here about it but again, I don't want to hear anything else. I just can't handle it :cry:

nateandjenny January 6th, 2011 12:25 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
oh honey! I am so sorry you feel this way!reading this made cry because I hate that you are so sad!
How long do you have to make a decision?

Triplets, Quadruplets, Quintuplets, Sextuplets, MOST (Mothers of Supertwins)

I know there are some first hand reduction stories on that website as well as mothers that have trips. It doesn't look like a very active board but you should still be able to get some info.

The only thing I can tell you is to do your own research and don't let anyone pressure you into anything you aren't comfortable with. If you and your hubby come to a decision you can both live with and be happy then thats all that matters.

there is a trip mom (i think it is hopetobeamom?) on here that posted on the other trip thread that might be able to give you some info.

nateandjenny January 6th, 2011 12:49 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
I don't know anything about fertility drs... but can you go see a peri?

tobi4 January 6th, 2011 06:29 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Im so sorry you are having such a difficult time with this hun. Im not going to try telling you what to do, you really do have to do whatever you feel is best for your entire family. Do you have much time? I hope you are able to have enough time to come to a decision, without feeling rushed and pressured.

SarieP January 7th, 2011 10:19 AM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
The procedure has to be done before 12 weeks so it has to be done in the next 2 weeks. I think we have already made our decision but we are going to see a high-risk specialist next Tuesday. It totally sucks that we have to go through so much to get pregnant and then can't even enjoy it!

nateandjenny January 7th, 2011 10:37 AM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
:dothug: Hope you are doing ok today! How is your hubby doing? Been thinking about you guys! I wish you guys were able to enjoy this time. Hope you got a lot of info at your appt.

Celry January 7th, 2011 11:42 AM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
I know this can't be an easy decision and that not everyone will agree with it. I'm honestly surprised you posted about it. Do you know if you'll reduce to one or two? Do you know how they determine which one (or 2) are kept?

HopeToBeAMom January 7th, 2011 12:08 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Sarah,

Hey there, just wanted to answer any questions you may have from my perspective if you want to PM me. I faced the same decision as you, about the same time 2 years ago, as I was due in Aug too, but as you can see, I did not reduce. We have a similar story, I had 2 put in, 1 split, so we have 2 identicals and a fraternal, all boys.

Any high risk pregnancy is scary for sure, but I did really well and made it to 34 weeks 2 days, and I should say that I was like 115 pounds pre pregnancy, so they definitely told me it would be a difficult preganancy. Happy to say I exceeded their expectations! But I should mention I had a cerclage placed early on to ensure they stayed put for the long run!!

I remember getting the news and I too was scared. I tried to get pregnant for many years and now I was scared I'd lose all 3. What sucked worse is that the doctors couldn't tell me what to do or what they'd do. There were no gaurantees and I was told I may be fine carrying all 3, I may lose all 3 if I continue, if I reduced just the procedure itself could make me lose them, nothing was safe.

I didn't quit working until 30 weeks, just took an early maternity leave. Not sure if that's an option for you, but I know you said you'd lose your job. That stinks that they'd do that to you, thought they couldn't fire someone for being pregnant, but if they can, that stinks.

I'm blessed that hubby has a great job as do I, and I decided to go part time b/c I wanted to spend more time with my babies since I won't be pregnant ever again. To save money, we do garage saling and resale for the boys clothes and of course, they all share outfits. We also shop for food/diapers for them at COSTCO.

All in all, it's lots to consider. PM me if you have any personal questions about my decision to keep all 3. Good luck whatever you decide. I know of a few support groups for moms of triplets and more if you want.

SarieP January 7th, 2011 02:25 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by nateandjenny (Post 22654566)
:dothug: Hope you are doing ok today! How is your hubby doing? Been thinking about you guys! I wish you guys were able to enjoy this time. Hope you got a lot of info at your appt.

We are both doing about the same. Not happy about the situation but getting through it as best we can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celry (Post 22655526)
I know this can't be an easy decision and that not everyone will agree with it. I'm honestly surprised you posted about it. Do you know if you'll reduce to one or two? Do you know how they determine which one (or 2) are kept?

Yea, we are not telling anyone in "real life" so I wanted to post on here so I could get it off my chest. We will reduce to two. I think it's too risky to reduce to one because there is always a chance of losing another one :( They make the determination by conducting a level 2 ultrasound and check out all the babies. If one of them has an abnormality or isn't growing like the others or something else is wrong then that's the one they choose. If they are all fine then they will do the one that is easiest to get to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HopeToBeAMom (Post 22655984)
Sarah,

Hey there, just wanted to answer any questions you may have from my perspective if you want to PM me. I faced the same decision as you, about the same time 2 years ago, as I was due in Aug too, but as you can see, I did not reduce. We have a similar story, I had 2 put in, 1 split, so we have 2 identicals and a fraternal, all boys.

Any high risk pregnancy is scary for sure, but I did really well and made it to 34 weeks 2 days, and I should say that I was like 115 pounds pre pregnancy, so they definitely told me it would be a difficult preganancy. Happy to say I exceeded their expectations! But I should mention I had a cerclage placed early on to ensure they stayed put for the long run!!

I remember getting the news and I too was scared. I tried to get pregnant for many years and now I was scared I'd lose all 3. What sucked worse is that the doctors couldn't tell me what to do or what they'd do. There were no gaurantees and I was told I may be fine carrying all 3, I may lose all 3 if I continue, if I reduced just the procedure itself could make me lose them, nothing was safe.

I didn't quit working until 30 weeks, just took an early maternity leave. Not sure if that's an option for you, but I know you said you'd lose your job. That stinks that they'd do that to you, thought they couldn't fire someone for being pregnant, but if they can, that stinks.

I'm blessed that hubby has a great job as do I, and I decided to go part time b/c I wanted to spend more time with my babies since I won't be pregnant ever again. To save money, we do garage saling and resale for the boys clothes and of course, they all share outfits. We also shop for food/diapers for them at COSTCO.

All in all, it's lots to consider. PM me if you have any personal questions about my decision to keep all 3. Good luck whatever you decide. I know of a few support groups for moms of triplets and more if you want.

Wow, you are much braver then I am! The thought of carrying three babies terrifies me! It sounds like you did a great job and got them pretty close to term :) They are cuties! My doctor told me that they put you on bed rest at 28 weeks with twins (which I plan to fight) so I know I would have to go out earlier or around then. My job offers FMLA which allows you to be gone from work for 12 weeks with no threat to your job. But after that, they will fill your position and you have to resign and then come back after I guess. They wouldn't fire me but I LOVE my position and I wouldn't be able to come back here because there are only three of us. They would fill the job and then I would have to go somewhere else. I would love to be able to work part time! That would be the dream for me because I know I wouldn't want to be a stay at home mom but I would like more time at home. We could NEVER afford a family of 5 plus 2 enormous dogs on DH's salary. He makes good money but it's not that good! We would struggle and I just can't see our family surviving like that. Obviously, we will have to majorly change the way we live now even with just two babies. Right now, we go on elaborate vacations and I get really nice jewerly ;) and DH has his fishing hobby. I know most of that will change but I don't want to be close to welfare and WIC and all that jazz.

It is a really hard decision but we have decided what is best for our family is to do the reduction. We are just not willing to take the risks. I'm upset about it but I think it will be ok after it's all said and done and we move on with our other two. I appreciate everyones support as I know this will be tough. I know everyone has their reasons why they would and would not do it but I can honestly say that you can't say for sure what you would do unless you were in the same position. I'm happy for those women that are brave enough to push through it but I am just not one of those women :( Wish me luck....

Smashley January 7th, 2011 02:28 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
I will not judge you regardless of your decision. It is super hard to come to terms with just twins, and I remember when I went in for my U/S I saw another black dot (turned out to be my ovary), but I had a moment of panic thinking omg! Though it is very rare to have trips naturally. Anyways hun, I am here if you want to talk. It is such a guilty, terrible feeling thinking negatively about something you made. It happens though, and we are not alone! I hope things go well, and whatever you decided that you are 100% okay with the decision. I wish you ALL the best!

mom_of2 January 7th, 2011 03:30 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Wow - hugs to you and I will be thinking of you and your husband. I know whatever decision you will make will be tough.

Waitingon2 January 7th, 2011 05:21 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
Sarah- I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time- You are in my T&Ps and just know in the end it will all work out.

Rae-of-Sunshine January 7th, 2011 06:10 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
I am definitely praying for you, because I know this is a stressful time for you and DH!

Just_Marie January 7th, 2011 10:12 PM

Re: Second ultrasound
 
((hugs)) and love to you


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