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Dalalia December 10th, 2013 02:41 PM

Physical violence
 
Everyone tells me that my 5-year-old only child (boy) hitting kids at school is normal. Even if that's true, whatever "normal" is, I want to put a stop to it before it gets worse. Short temper and physical violence unfortunately runs in my family on my dad's side... I feel like I can't just let my child continue this behavior, I think I really need to intervene. I don't think it's just a phase that will pass on its own. I believe the initial thing that brought it on was spankings as punishment. Up until my son was 3 we lived with his Grandpa, my dad. He implemented spanking as punishment when my son was 2 and I didn't have the guts to stick up to my dad and say no, and I even implemented the punishment myself a few different times which I always regretted. I do not believe in any sort of physical violence as punishment and as soon as I moved away from my dad I never spanked my child again. But I think he still learned that physical violence is the answer in that short time living with my dad. I just need to know what to do now to put a stop to and reverse this behavior. Please, if anyone has any good advice to offer me I really appreciate it. Thank you.

TreeTog December 10th, 2013 04:09 PM

Re: Physical violence
 
Talk to him, model the correct behavior for him, and role play.

Leslie

rachelc0 December 11th, 2013 01:15 PM

Re: Physical violence
 
i am having this same problem with my 4yr old. he has been slapping his younger brother. skyping with my grandma the other night Kale walks into the room, up to Keegan, who isn't even paying attention, and just slaps him in the face. i was so shocked that i really didn't know how to respond right away.

time outs don't work. spanking sends the wrong message. i'm all for spanking but i think it's pointless to hit as punishment for hitting. calmly explaining what he did wrong doesn't work. yelling at him doesn't work. tell him 'well santa isn't coming' doesn't work. i have reached my ends with him.

SOMEONE HELP US!

Dalalia December 18th, 2013 04:32 PM

Re: Physical violence
 
Thanks Leslie I really will try but I honestly just don't think my son takes me seriously. rachel, I know how you feel I feel so stuck. I feel like he thinks everything is just a joke and that doing something bad is funny and that hitting is what you should do if your friend makes you mad. I wish I didn't have to result to counseling but I feel like that's where it's headed. Especially if all my efforts are not working. :\

rachelc0 December 19th, 2013 08:59 AM

Re: Physical violence
 
the kicker to Kale, is that at daycare and preschool, he is a model citizen. very well behaved and follow the rules to a T. at home he's a completely different kid and it's so exhausting. i've even joked that my daycare provider should move in with us because he listens to her. obviously i'd rather him act up at home than in public, but it just shows that he has the capability to follow rules about no spitting and no hitting.


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