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-   -   Introducing myself... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/1576870-introducing-myself.html)

Del4 May 27th, 2009 09:01 PM

Introducing myself...
 
So, I just searched back through 50 pages to make sure I hadn't introduced myself once already lol. I was invited here a while ago and never made it over. I stopped coming around and recently returned (I do that with JM, I don't know why. Don't do it to any of my other boards) and realized how close I am getting to having this baby and could probably really use some support -- especially since I don't have a clue what I'm going to do!

Here's my history: I'm 25, have 6.5 year old boy/girl twins and a 20 month old baby boy.

The twins were born when I was 18. I had been on bedrest for 5 months, was terrified one or both of them were going to die (too much Baby Story) and pretty much followed my doctors leads. I was very high risk because of age and the fact that there were two. Then my cervix started shortening very quickly, very early on (around 4 months), so they put me on strict bedrest for the duration of the pregnancy. I was allowed to stay home, but only because I lived with my step-mom at the time who is a Neonatal nurse who my peri worked with often. Things went smoothly after that, except around 36 weeks, my ankles and body started ballooning. After a quick check at my 38 week appt, it was determined that my blood pressure was skyrocketing and I was spilling protein into my urine. I was pre-eclamptic, so they chose an immediate induction. I was excited, to be honest. Not about being sick, but about being done being pregnant. I was miserable and humongous and ready to meet my babies. They induced me and I got an epidural at 4cm. Never even felt any pain. I pushed them both out in 30 minutes (with a brief waiting period to be sewn up in between) and distinctly remember my doc saying it was the "perfect twin delivery."

After that experience, which wasn't bad at all ... I knew when I had another child, I wanted it to be different. I didn't know why.. or how, but I just knew deep down that I never wanted to go through another birth that way. My husband was active duty army for almost 5 years and after having gone through the twins pregnancy/labor/delivery without him, I knew I never wanted to do THAT again, either. So we prevented the whole time he was in, but the second he went on his 30 day leave just before being released, we got pregnant again. Not planned, but definitely not unwanted. I joined a birth club a few weeks after finding out about the pregnancy and learned a lot about birth and women and our bodies and pretty much everything I was looking for with the twins, I found with my next pregnancy. I was so excited! Because of our circumstances, a home birth was out of the question. Not to mention, I'd previously had a very high risk pregnancy, so I wasn't quite sure I was ready to go it alone. I went back to my same doctor, had a very uneventful pregnancy and went into labor (finally!) at 42weeks 2 days. I birthed in a hospital and it was a lot better than my first delivery, but still not quite what I was hoping for. Yes, I had a completely natural childbirth (cept the doc broke my water without asking to speed things up) and I was able to spend every second possible with my newborn after all was said and done, but there were still some things missing. I hated the looks I got from the nurses when they found out I was refusing pain meds. I hated the, "Y'know, it wouldn't hurt so bad if only you'd let us 'help' you..." comments I got when I would groan from a contraction. I didn't like the complete lack of support for going against what they wanted me to do. It was annoying and frustrating and not something that should be any part of something so special.

We planned to have another baby close in age to Reicher (Ry-KeR) because we wanted him to have a baby brother/sister who he could grow up with. The twins have a special bond that he'll never be able to be a part of and we wanted something similar for him. Getting pregnant again right away wasn't something we wanted, but it happened anyhow, when Reicher was just 6 months old. We were shocked, but excited. Unfortunately, that pregnancy was lost at just under 6 weeks. After that, we knew another baby was something we both really wanted, just not quite yet. So we turned to NFP and stayed baby free until October, when we decided we really wanted to have another one. We decided to stop preventing, but not really try and see what happened. Lo and behold, just around Thanksgiving, I got a positive HPT!

Even before getting pregnant this time, I knew I wanted to birth at home. I called the only midwife in my area that does homebirths and spoke with her about it. She wanted 4,000 for care, total. Not too bad, but not something we thought we could pull off, either. We moved about 5 hours away and realized NO midwives in this area offer homebirth. Great.

I'm now 30 weeks and without a clue how to do what I want to do without it being dangerous. Not to mention, even if we found a midwife who was willing to homebirth -- at this point, would she/he even want to help me? I'm terrified I'm going to end up in the hospital again and that is the last thing that I wanted. This is most likely our last baby and I want it to go exactly how I had envisioned it all these years (water birth at home) and now I'm fairly sure that's not even a possibility anymore.

So, there's my very long story. Hope I haven't scared anyone off with my ability to chat (type). If there is any advice/knowledge out there about my situation, I will gladly listen to what you have to say. Other than that, I'm here to read all your stories and get inspiration/courage to do a NCB -- even if it has to be in a stinkin' hospital!

sillyp May 28th, 2009 03:23 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Welcome back!
I think it's never too late to try and find someone to help give you the birth you want.
Maybe Shauna can help you find some resources to find a midwife in CA?
I wish you the best and hope everything goes the way you want it to!

.adi. May 28th, 2009 05:15 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
I just have to say, I have a 20 month old and I'm due in July too! :lol: I don't have any advice, but welcome to the board!

DoulaMama May 28th, 2009 06:48 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Welcome!

First off- I could never reccomend unassisted birth. I work with homebirth midwives, assisting them, as well as being a doula, and I just know to much to think unassisted homebirth is a good option. I've seen the midwives save a mothers life, and she was so glowing she didn't think anything was really wrong!

Second- most midwives are fine with taking late transfers, and will do so up to 36+ weeks, some up to hours before birth! So- if you can find a midwife now where you live, they'll likely take you. ;) And they may even offer a discount off of regular price for the late transfer. Many will set up payment plans, but prefer to recieve payment before the birth. Just discuss it, face to face with her, and see what you can work out.

I hope that helps you to have some hope that you'll be able to find a midwife :D Good luck!
This site has tons of midwives listed. If you cannot find one in your city, call someone nearby, maybe they'll have a reccomendation or will be willing to care for you. California Association of Midwives Find a CAM Midwife

nvr.4.gtn May 28th, 2009 07:05 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
welcome!

noworries May 28th, 2009 07:35 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Are there any birth centers near you?

mgm78 May 28th, 2009 07:54 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Good luck with your search. A lot of hospitals are becoming more NCB friendly, can you look around and see if any are near you and get a doula and deliver there? I would check out the other resources as well. Our birth center was not close to home, but worth the trip :)

Lindz253 May 28th, 2009 08:31 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say welcome and good luck!

moon~maiden May 28th, 2009 08:41 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
welcome and thanks for joining us. I highly suggest a birthing center, if that's not an option, a doula and a smaller hospital that is quiet and more NCB friendly. Or a homebirth if you can find a midwife, of course that would be best since that's what you want.

Where are you exactly? I have a doula friend in San Jose, and Shauna is in SF.

Del4 May 28th, 2009 08:50 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Thanks for all the welcomes and advice ladies! I really appreciate it. I have looked for birthing centers -- the nearest one is 2 hours away. Do you think that's doable??? I have to call and look more into it, I guess, but I'm a little worried about laboring in the car lol! Not to mention, what if I have a false alarm and drive all that way for nothing? lol

Oh and I'm in the Valley, Cheryl. Merced, to be more specific. We are probably moving back to the coast soon, but if I can find someone to deliver me here, I'll stay until after the baby is born. :)

ShaunaB May 28th, 2009 09:36 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Welcome! I'm originally from Fresno but I don't know of any resources for you I'm afraid. If a birthing center or home midwife isn't an option, I suggest laboring at home until the last possible moment. Then by the time you get to the hospital you'll just push the baby out.

Although you didn't get quite what you wanted in your previous births, I have to say it sounds like you had pretty nice births for hospital births. Being able to birth twins vaginally even with an epi is incredible! And having NCB with your last is amazing! I can totally understand your desire for a home water birth, but I would seriously think twice about doing so unassisted. While we all know that homebirths are just as if not more safe than in the hospital, this is with a trained midwife professional.

Maybe try contacting a doula in your area and see what OB/midwife/hospital they recommend for getting as close to what you want as possible.

Del4 May 28th, 2009 09:53 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaunaB (Post 15991363)
Welcome! I'm originally from Fresno but I don't know of any resources for you I'm afraid. If a birthing center or home midwife isn't an option, I suggest laboring at home until the last possible moment. Then by the time you get to the hospital you'll just push the baby out.

Although you didn't get quite what you wanted in your previous births, I have to say it sounds like you had pretty nice births for hospital births. Being able to birth twins vaginally even with an epi is incredible! And having NCB with your last is amazing! I can totally understand your desire for a home water birth, but I would seriously think twice about doing so unassisted. While we all know that homebirths are just as if not more safe than in the hospital, this is with a trained midwife professional.

Maybe try contacting a doula in your area and see what OB/midwife/hospital they recommend for getting as close to what you want as possible.

I know I won't be going unassisted. It's tempting for me, but I know deep down I could never do it. It's just too scary for me to even try. All the unknowns and IF something were to go wrong ... ahh, I'd never forgive myself.

As for my previous births -- you're right! I got very lucky and while I may not be totally happy with the outcomes, I definitely realize things could have turned out so much worse. The major difference I noticed between medicated and unmedicated were the after birth. With the twins, they didn't nurse until the following morning (they were born in the 6pm hour) and I barely remember anything until the following morning, as well. With Reicher, I was fully alert and able to spend 6 incredible hours with him until we went to sleep. He stayed with me ALL night and never left my side. When he went somewhere, DH went with him. And Reicher nursed right away and was a champ with BFing until about 6 weeks ago when he self weaned. I was also stuck in the hospital for 3 days following the birth of the twins. With Reicher, I signed a waiver and went home just 18 hours after delivering.

Anyway, thanks again!! There's a birthing center in San Francisco - 2 hours from here. I'm going to try contacting them and see what advice/suggestions/help they can offer. :)

Husher May 28th, 2009 10:34 AM

Re: Introducing myself...
 
Welcome and good luck deciding on the best option for you. I'm so glad you've joined us and hope to see you posting more. I just had my second son in a birth center after a not so pleasant birth experience with my first and I honestly couldn't recommend a birth center enough. It was a wonderful, amazing experience. I had a waterbirth as well. :)


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