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-   -   Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth.. (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2492148-totally-losing-my-confidence-natural-birth.html)

KiwiMommy February 21st, 2012 12:37 AM

Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
and I'm only 22 weeks and a few days! :eek:
My friend just had her baby all natural. A 7lb few oz baby girl :)
However, she told me she also hemorrhaged again (she did with her first baby too) and was screaming..a LOT.
LOL I'm such a wimp.. I'm so worried that I can't actually do this.
Then I remind myself that she was also induced, so pitocin was making her contractions stronger..
Labor without pitocin, as far as I can remember, wasn't too bad..until they broke my water. Then I wanted to rip people's heads off..
This time, they won't touch me with any medication unless necessary.. and no breaking my water..
But I can't help but worry I'll wimp out :P

So far, baby has been measuring smaller than his big sister was. He was 10oz at my 19 1/2 week u/s, which is juuuust right.
I do put faith in measurements up until the end (33+ weeks) because they said my daughter was actually SMALLER at the end.. they couldn't get measurements because she was engaged into my pelvis. But prior to that they were pretty much spot on with guessing her birth weight (8lbs 14oz)
Maybe, just maybe, I'll be blessed with a 7lb-er instead of a 8+ lb baby again..
DD nearly killed me and a baby larger than her poses a huge risk to my health, as my pelvis BARELY fit her and caused serious hemorrhaging for me and shoulder distocia for her.
I just want a perfect birth so I can see what it's like to "really" give birth.
I had to vent. I'm trying to stay strong with my no-epidural decision.

STL_Beth February 21st, 2012 07:21 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
First off, I know you can do it!!!

I'm sure you don't remember, but Noah was 8lb 13oz and while I know every woman is different, he was a difficult baby to birth. The doctors thought he was stuck and he even came out with one hand by his face. I was able to do it, naturally, too, but it wasn't easy.

I had this conversation with my doula too about what happens if she is going to be just as big or bigger. Obviously neither her nor I are doctors, but in her experience, since this is my second child and I've given birth to a bigger baby, that even if this one is just as big, my body should know what to do and it won't be as difficult.

Also I just wanted to suggest that you start preparing yourself now, both mentally and physically. Start doing pelvic rocks, kegels, and other exercises to strengthen your pelvic muscles so you can do the work when it comes time. Maybe look into reading a few books or take a natural birthing class. I never took hypnobabies, but I know a large part of thier theory is affirmations. Think to yourself "i can do this". Put together a birth plan.

And of course, keep coming back here and asking lots of questions.

Twhylite21 February 21st, 2012 09:50 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
You can do it!

My first was 7lbs, 6oz and my second was 8lbs, 5oz. She got stuck and came out face first after pushing for 3 hours. It was much harder compared to my first birth, but nothing I felt I couldn't handle.

Definitely keep trying to affirm your birth plan to yourself and to others!

..Penelope.. February 21st, 2012 12:00 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
Ditto the other ladies!

You can do this, mama!

LoriLou35 February 22nd, 2012 09:31 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
Don't give up yet! Just remember that no matter what size the baby is, your body was designed to do this! Keep telling yourself that and other affirmations. You can do it!

KiwiMommy February 22nd, 2012 10:19 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
Thanks ladies! I had an u/s yesterday and baby was measuring 22w 2d I believe and I was 22w5d. So he's measuring smaller than his sister was at this point. I think he really, really will be my little 7lb-er! Fingers crossed, anyways.

jhryerson March 12th, 2012 08:07 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
Stay strong you CAN do it.

It sounds like you've heard a few too many bad stories so I thought I'd show you the other side of the coin. I've had two natural births, during neither of these births did I scream or cry. Yes it was hard work, yes there was pain but it was all manageable with the right coping strategies it can be very rewarding Just remember, how you handle it will depend on you and has nothing to do with what anyone else did.


Secondly don't get too caught up in the sizing issue. The size of the baby does not always determine the difficulty of the birth. My first baby was 6lb 6 oz and I would generally call her's a hard birth - I ended up pushing for 1.5 hours before they finally resorted to the vacuum. My second baby was 8lb 9 oz and he came out so easily in comparison, my body knew what to do and I had a fantastic midwife who really helped me deal a lot better than I did with the first birth. Obviously no one can promise you that you'll have the same but I just wanted to say don't give up without trying......Cause you never know what you're capable of till you do it.

My general advice is to do as much preparation as you can, look at a number of different coping strategies, you never know which one will work (I found that things that worked for my first birth were useless during my second) I just kept trying different strategies until I found the one that worked.

Good luck!

HappyHippy March 12th, 2012 08:44 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
You are not your friend. It doesn't matter if your friend screamed, because you may not. Your experience will be different from hers. Some people are at an increased risk for PPH, and others aren't. Even if you use medications there is still a risk of PPH.

daneeleigh March 12th, 2012 08:57 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
I had the same fear as you a week before I delivered but I did it and I don't regret that decision one bit. I think you'll find laboring without pitocin to be so much more manageable. Plus this will be your second baby and you should go faster and your body should stretch easier. And I wouldn't worry about size either, I've had women tell me their smaller babies were harder than their larger ones. I think it depends on the labor.

lunarmagic March 12th, 2012 09:41 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
You can totally do it!! Read some positive birth stories, watch some waterbirths on youtube or something, read some affirming books about birth. Before labor I tend to get all happy and snug in my "zone" with all these positive stories around me, telling me that women can do this, that I can do this.

My natural births were both very calm. No one really would have guessed I was in labor except during contractions I couldn't concentrate or talk and had to focus inward. I had coping strategies and a sort of meditative zone I fell into. Position plays into it a lot! A natural labor is NOT the same as a pitocin labor! The contractions are much different when it is augmented, and when the water is broken.

I really think the size of the baby doesn't matter nearly so much as the position of the baby and position of the mother. Try squatting, it opens up your pelvis. Stand, sway, move.... your body will get the baby out the way it knows how. You've already done it once, mama.

bostoncreampie March 15th, 2012 10:40 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
You can do it!

Do you think your pushing position had anything to do with it? I had a medicated birth with a 8.5 lber and pushed on my back when the DR told me to and it was really hard.

Then I had a natural water birth and pushed when I wanted to while squatting or floating on my back and had a 10.9 lb baby without any trauma down there. He even had his arm up by his face, and I am a very small framed person with tiny hips. I just feel like there is a lot to say for how you labor and how you push and the sort of mobility you have to open your pelvis and work with the baby coming down. I would definitely recommend a waterbirth in your situation.

I hemorrhaged both times too, it's really scary. But that's something to deal with whether it's medicated or not.

andi2284 March 16th, 2012 06:21 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
Quote:

I really think the size of the baby doesn't matter nearly so much as the position of the baby and position of the mother. Try squatting, it opens up your pelvis. Stand, sway, move.... your body will get the baby out the way it knows how. You've already done it once, mama.
I agree with this, pushing position (and baby position) has a lot to do with it!

Mom.to.PinknBlue March 20th, 2012 08:19 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
I have to agree with everyone else, You can do it!

KiwiMommy March 21st, 2012 12:11 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
You ladies are awesome! Feeling a lot better now that I read your replies. I hope the Dr can put up with me during delivery. Did anyone manage to squat for the birth in a regular hospital? Homebirth or a birthing center is a no-go (too expensive for the homebirth, too far away for the center..it's an hour or more away) so I'm now just wondering how much "Real" birth I can get away with at a hospital.

Twhylite21 March 21st, 2012 09:25 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
My hospital has squat bars and it's a fairly common pushing position there :) I squatted for part of Lily's delivery, but didn't push her out that way. But my nurses/CNM were fine with me doing whatever position I wanted to push.

lunarmagic March 21st, 2012 02:13 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
I never got a chance to use them, but my hospital has squat bars for the beds as well. :)

jhryerson March 30th, 2012 07:16 PM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
I went through a midwifery practice and delivered at a local hospital - I ended up using a birthing stool which was the best thing ever for me. I loved it. Would have had no problem with "being allowed" to squat if thats what I wanted. For me at least I found for me that the hospital itself had very little say in anything I was doing, I dealt with my midwife only and she dealt with everything else so just make sure your care provider is on board with want you want.

see_jay_elle April 27th, 2012 09:50 AM

Re: Totally losing my confidence in a natural birth..
 
From what I've read so far from mommies who have had multiple births (including multiple big baby births), weight isn't always the biggest factor in how difficult or easy the birth is. Like other ladies have said, I've had friends who had more trouble with their 6lb 3oz babies than with their 8lb babies. My ultrasound tech had actually put my mind at ease a lot as well - she is a small person who has large babies too. Your body has already been through this once before. And sometimes a 10lb baby can be in there in just the perfect position to come out easily, while a 7lb baby can be at just enough of a funny angle to cause some difficulty. Also remember that even if your baby is a whole pound heavier, that doesn't mean that the entire pound goes right into the head & shoulders (the hardest parts to birth). That pound will also be distributed in arms/legs/body. So it could be a bigger baby, but the weight distribution could be completely different. Look into as many positions as you can, and find support who will help you have the birth you want, even if you start to doubt yourself a little. And keep everyone else's horror stories out of your head! You'll do great mama, you can have the birth you want!


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