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-   -   Natural birth newbie (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2607433-natural-birth-newbie.html)

NinjaCakes December 20th, 2012 09:43 PM

Natural birth newbie
 
Hi there. This is my first time in your area of the site so forgive the intrusion :) I am due to have my first child July of next year. Since watching the business of being born, I have been pro-NCB. As much as it is a deep desire of mine to have a home birth, unfortunately that just isn't something that I can have in such a small town. A birth center is also not an option. We only have the local hospital, which of course is limited in both resources and education. I don't relish the idea of a hospital birth. I absolutely do want as natural a birth as possible though, no matter where we will be. I know this will likely be met with criticism, doubt, and pressure from family, friends, and medical personnel - it already has been. With small towns come small minds. This is very important to me however, and I'm trying to prepare myself to deal with the rest of the world, even if it means not sharing my plans with anyone other than those who will be involved in the birth.

Obviously I have a lot of questions - how to prepare my mind and body, natural pain management, my rights as a pregnant and birthing mother, the next best alternatives in case a natural birth isn't possible... Too many to post here for sure! I suppose I can only ask for some general information and direction from those more experienced than I. Can anyone point me to helpful information sources? Reading material (I am not religious)? What things I should be asking before choosing my OBGYN? Do you have any advice or information you wish you'd known before your birth? Or techniques you use to deal with the negative reactions and opinions from others? I'm really very non-confrontational :)

Anything at all would be much appreciated.

therevslady December 21st, 2012 06:22 AM

Re: Natural birth newbie
 
Hi! And welcome!

I hope you find this board helpful with lots of information. Be sure to check out the stickies with articles and helpful information. The birth stories might also be beneficial for you to read, because lots of women here, including myself have had wonderful and successful NCB's in the hospital. I was able to help my SIL have a NCB in a rural hospital, which was super hard because they only had 3 L&D rooms. It meant we had to leave the hospital when she stalled at 5cm, to come back the next morning to have the baby. Rural hospitals have their challenges, but one thing I experienced at that hospital was sincere kindness and a willingness to work with us (very much unlike many of the hospitals that I work with in the burbs with a high turnover rate).

You might want to check out DONA International – Welcome! Doula Match - Find a Doula for your due date and area Welcome to Find a Doula and websites like that to see if there is a doula in your area. Doulas are great at navigating your birth options. They also might know of a homebirth midwife in your area since it sounds like you are very interested in that.

I'd also highly recommend checking out an out of hospital birthing class like Bradley, Hypnobirthing, or Hypnobabies. These classes are a great support as well as help equip you with knowledge and resources for your birth as well.

daneeleigh December 21st, 2012 11:13 AM

Re: Natural birth newbie
 
You may luck out being in a smaller area that if they don't have such a high client rate then they are less likely to induce and force you out mentality. They may be more likely to let you just labor.

I gave birth in a birth center so I'm not completely a pro at this but I do know what a lot of our local hospitals do. At least the one I was set to deliver in. If you have the resources to get a Doula, GET ONE! Especially if delivering in a hospital. She can be your advocate and help communicate your wants and desires, should carry a copy of your birth plan, while you're busy laboring and focusing elsewhere. Have a great support team around you who cherishes your wishes. You don't need many. Just a close nit team. My doula and husband along with my grandmother were these people for me.

We did NOT tell too many people our intentions of having a NCB and frankly you may want to consider this. If you find most won't be receptive it's best not to hear the negative comments. They will share them even if they have NO clue what they're talking about. We told a few and as soon as I realized we were not supported in our decision we shut up quick. I figured it be best to inform once I did it and had proven I could versus trying to defend something I hadn't experienced and everyone was saying, "Don't worry, you'll want that epidural." They had me so terrified I would doubt my abilities.

I read birth story after birth story. Now, take these as encouraging words that other women have walked this path before you. Don't imagine that your labor will be just like theirs. I apparently didn't read any or very little of them with women who had horrible back labor so I just assumed this wasn't going to happen to me (it did). I kind of got tunnel vision from them. Many women write their stories when they are experiencing their birth high lol. You feel like super woman after giving birth so your recollection is slightly bias. I've written two now. One was 1 week PP and the other is 9 months PP. The tone and information I delivered in the two paint a different picture. Something to look for when reading.

We did a NCB birthing class which helped us prepare mentally for it, especially as new parents. Did it teach us anything life changing? No, but it helped us focus on what was to come.

Sorry I just wrote a Novel lol.

GranolaMamaOf3 December 21st, 2012 12:13 PM

Re: Natural birth newbie
 
First of all - HI! :D Welcome to the board! So glad you've found this wonderful group of ladies!

I second everything the other ladies mentioned. Look into hiring a doula, take an out of hospital birthing class, and surround yourself with positive birth stories; here, from books, website, etc.. I totally agree with avoiding confrontational conversations with non-supportive friends/family. They just aren't worth it! If you do find yourself caught talking to a negative person (sometimes they're hard to avoid), feel free to say "If you can't support my decisions, we just wont talk about this anymore" end of story and change the subject. If they don't listen and keep talking, just pretend like you don't hear them and keep asking about the weather or food; "I just went to this great restaurant the other day! Have you ever been?" ;)

I too have had a natural intervention free hospital birth in a rural area. It was a very positive experience for me, and with the right care givers and support system, totally doable :)

NinjaCakes December 23rd, 2012 10:00 AM

Re: Natural birth newbie
 
Thanks all of you :) I feel overwhelmed by the masses of information out there, and just don't know where to start. It's nice to finally have some direction. I guess I should specify small town - it's about 50,000 people here, and for some reason this town thinks it's a city. We're the biggest place in the area, but it's still an ignorant speck. Big enough that we have a hospital which thinks quite highly of itself (despite it's rather poor reputation) - it's a widely repeated joke here that Blessing is more likely to kill you than help you. In all the stories my friends and families have told me of their experiences here the main things I hear are ignorance, intervention, and pressure to do as you are told. The hospital offers it's one birth class and there are no other options locally. I did check that doula search though, thank you! Looks like the closest one is two hours away and out of state :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ (Post 26895586)
Rural hospitals have their challenges, but one thing I experienced at that hospital was sincere kindness and a willingness to work with us (very much unlike many of the hospitals that I work with in the burbs with a high turnover rate).

Unfortunately that is not Blessing. But I have been hearing good things about the OB's at another, smaller place, QMG. I think when my insurance situation is sorted out I might see about going there. No matter what you still have to deliver at Blessing, but you can have your doctor from QMG and they are in charge.

Quote:

Originally Posted by GranolaMama (Post 26896741)
I too have had a natural intervention free hospital birth in a rural area. It was a very positive experience for me, and with the right care givers and support system, totally doable :)

That's a relief! I am at a loss as to what to do for a support system. I will have my BF obviously, but aside from that I have few options. I will simply have to nut-up and interview the OB's after the holiday season is over, so that when I do get in there I won't have to fight my doctor to have my birthing preferences respected.

Quote:

Originally Posted by daneeleigh (Post 26896559)
We did NOT tell too many people our intentions of having a NCB and frankly you may want to consider this. If you find most won't be receptive it's best not to hear the negative comments. They will share them even if they have NO clue what they're talking about. We told a few and as soon as I realized we were not supported in our decision we shut up quick. I figured it be best to inform once I did it and had proven I could versus trying to defend something I hadn't experienced and everyone was saying, "Don't worry, you'll want that epidural." They had me so terrified I would doubt my abilities.

That is exactly it. Within a few hours of sharing - note I said sharing, I did not ask for opinions - I was told by multiple people that I wouldn't want natural, that I shouldn't do it, that I will want pain medication. None of these people wanted/had natural births though, so how could they know? And what gives them the right to discourage me? Because their comments are very discouraging. It's frustrating. Especially as one of them is a woman I had planned to ask to be in the delivery room with me.

PS - Love you guys siggy pictures :)

Husher December 27th, 2012 10:42 AM

Re: Natural birth newbie
 
Welcome!! I don't have much more to add since you have already gotten some great answers from the other ladies, but I wanted you to know that you CAN do this. It's hard when you have people constantly telling you that it's too hard and you'll just want the epidural. I had lots of people telling me the same thing when we I was pregnant with our first. It definitely made me doubt myself, but it also made me want to prove that I was strong enough, that I could trust my body.

I'm so glad you're here. :)

NinjaCakes December 31st, 2012 04:06 PM

Re: Natural birth newbie
 
Thank you! I've resigned myself to only talking about it to people/ in places where I can expect support, or at least neutrality - I'm far too easily discouraged as it is! I'm honestly excited :)


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