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-   -   Things you wish you could say on facebook (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f257-natural-childbirth/2645158-things-you-wish-you-could-say-facebook.html)

therevslady April 22nd, 2013 07:24 PM

Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Inspired by a recent post, I thought I would start a thread for us to come and vent. I know that so many of you out there are chomping at the bit every time someone posts their birth stuff online. Since we can't always say what we want to say there, come share it here. Get it off your chest and we'll all have a good laugh :)

alittlelost April 22nd, 2013 07:42 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
I actually really don't care how other people give birth (guess that makes me terrible) BUT it bugs me when people are clearly uneducated and then treat me like I don't know what I'm talking about or like *I'm* the one making bad birth decisions.... so, I guess if I could in those cases I really wish I felt comfortable posting information!

And I hate that I almost never share information as it is (out of fear of offending someone) but what REALLY sucks is when you have every reason to think it's someone you CAN talk to who DOES want to hear what you have to say, only to find out you were wrong.

this is my 4th pregnancy and I've been a mom for nearly 8 years. The ONE time I say something, and I'm treated like I'm giving out dangerous advice. Grr. Yeah, totally bugged me, but I supposed it's only expected that every decade you need to be reminded that everyone else can have an opinion but you, unless your opinion is mainstream, in which case you can have your opinion 100 times a day and as loud as you want... :P

Yep, that feels good to vent lol

NinjaCakes April 22nd, 2013 09:03 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
How about a nice, "Shut the f*** up!" every time someone tells me I'll be begging for the drugs as soon as the contractions start? Moms to be need support, not discouragement, you inconsiderate jerks!!!

Memi April 23rd, 2013 08:21 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
I'm really aggravated and tired of people insinuating I'm going to fail at or am crazy for my (natural) VBAC attempt. It's very frustrating as I've put a lot of time, energy and money into doing my research (for years!) and giving myself the best set up for a positive outcome as possible. I just hate everyone else's negativity of thinking a C-section is the "easy" or "safe" answer. IT'S NOT!!!!! Been there, done that, and have nothing positive to say about it except I got a healthy baby.

keekopeeko April 23rd, 2013 09:03 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
I LOVE this topic! Recently I have had two friends hit their due dates and I can't stand the outraged comments on their pages of "NO BABY YET!?" ... I always try to say something encouraging ... Because I KNOW whenever I get to my due date and I get comments I want to just B*^#} slap those people...


.... And mostly I can't stand when someone says "yay! I'm getting induced tomorrow" and it ends up being because the doctors don't want their baby to get "to big" or because the mama has been so uncomfortable and is "in pain".... GAH those things drive me insane! .... I also don't like when someone has a great chance to try a VBAC and doesn't even considering it :( I always feel sad for them,,, but that's not ever anything I want to comment on..

NinjaCakes April 23rd, 2013 10:21 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by keekopeeko (Post 27308296)
And mostly I can't stand when someone says "yay! I'm getting induced tomorrow" and it ends up being because the doctors don't want their baby to get "to big" or because the mama has been so uncomfortable and is "in pain"

Ditto on this! I always want to ask them what valid medical reason they have for induction. One of my cousins just had her baby a month ago and she said almost exactly that. She had just been induced when she was facebooking, "All I can say is EPIDURAL ALL THE WAY BABY!", talking about how she couldn't feel a thing. It took 21 hours for him to be born. :mellow:

I had to fight to keep my fingers from saying something.

jhmomofmany April 23rd, 2013 04:40 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
a close relative of ours is expecting her first baby. All I will say is that there have been many, many times I've written something in reply to a status, and hit "delete" instead of "enter". :lol:

alittlelost April 23rd, 2013 07:05 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Not directly related, but I'm super annoyed right now that people are commenting on my friend's status, on HER page, to a post SHE made, congratulating her HUSBAND. By all means, congratulate him ALSO but don't ONLY congratulate him. She had a little something to do with the baby being born too. Grrr.

GranolaMamaOf3 April 23rd, 2013 07:24 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Lately I'm most concerned for the postpartum moms I see who are out and about doing *way* too much too soon! I wish our society valued and respected pp moms more... and that pp moms respected themselves enough to take advantage of help and REST! Instead we have this underlying feeling that we have to "keep up with the Jones" and not let having a baby "slow us down". IT SHOULD slow us down! For a few weeks at least! and I cringe every time I see an itty bitty newborn in walmart. I understand that some people don't have any other option and we all need groceries, but that's just my point! Why isn't someone else offering to go grocery shopping for her and/or bring her meals? :(

AnnaBonana April 23rd, 2013 08:53 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Thank you for this topic!!!

I'm not even pregnant yet and I want to scream. How often in real life does anyone say anything positive about birth!?! Way to go NinjaCakes with you STFU, because that's what I want to say to *everyone*!

How about this: "Thank you for pointing out to me that a human being has never left my body through my vagina! I appreciate the info, but I would have noticed, I think. Just because you had one (of the nearly seven billion) birth, does not mean you are an expert on every possible birth scenario and example in the world! So leave me alone and shut the f*^% up!"

Would you believe that I've discussed birth choices once in life with one wonderful woman (two unmediated births) and never other than that? People are so opinionated and they need to leave me alone!

I've always said I just wish that I could become pregnant and then disappear until my baby was about six weeks old. I have faith in myself but the fact that everyone around me is so negative is what scares me.

Thanks ladies!

daneeleigh April 23rd, 2013 10:05 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
My cousin was the worst. "Can't wait for my scheduled csection! My heartburn has been so bad they're giving me one early!"

Huh??

ashj_1218 April 24th, 2013 08:17 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
My favorites are the (generally) FTMs who say "I can't wait til this baby comes so I can get some sleep." Cracks me up every time! Yes, third trimester sucks for comfortable sleeping. But I can assure them sleeplessness is about to take on a new meaning!

I have a bunch of scheduled c-section moms as friends and they just don't understand the concept of waiting for baby. They will ask when I am due...I answer "May" and they are like "what day?" And I just shrug and say whatever day she decides to come. But they "need" to know a day. Lol. And they want to know how I can stand not being able to plan for my other kids or for aftercare.

keekopeeko April 24th, 2013 08:45 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GranolaMama (Post 27310517)
Lately I'm most concerned for the postpartum moms I see who are out and about doing *way* too much too soon! I wish our society valued and respected pp moms more... and that pp moms respected themselves enough to take advantage of help and REST! Instead we have this underlying feeling that we have to "keep up with the Jones" and not let having a baby "slow us down". IT SHOULD slow us down! For a few weeks at least! and I cringe every time I see an itty bitty newborn in walmart. I understand that some people don't have any other option and we all need groceries, but that's just my point! Why isn't someone else offering to go grocery shopping for her and/or bring her meals? :(

Oh this too! This bugs the mess out of me! I recently had a friend ride in a horse show 12days PP.. And she totally said it a million times to make sure everyone knew! And I really wanted to be like "REALLY! You are going to take your brand new baby out in the cold at 4am in the morning and be at a horse show at least all morning... And have grandma watch the baby while you get your horse ready and ride.. !? Plus you might be feeling good but YOUR body needs to heal!" ... I get it, horses are her life... But hello! BRAND NEW BABY should take priority at least in MY opinion!

NinjaCakes April 25th, 2013 09:09 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GranolaMama (Post 27310517)
I wish our society valued and respected pp moms more... and that pp moms respected themselves enough to take advantage of help and REST! Instead we have this underlying feeling that we have to "keep up with the Jones" and not let having a baby "slow us down". IT SHOULD slow us down! For a few weeks at least! and I cringe every time I see an itty bitty newborn in walmart.

Definitely! We expect pregnant women to take it easy, but once the baby is out they're supposed to go back to normal, taking care of everything (except themselves). And the babies - can nobody at least watch the baby while mom goes on errands? Not that most moms would leave their babies that soon I think, but still - everywhere you have to go is a germfest even without the strangers who want to touch a baby.

Quote:

Originally Posted by keekopeeko (Post 27311873)
I recently had a friend ride in a horse show 12days PP..

:eek: I don't even know what to say!

therevslady April 30th, 2013 06:08 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
:ph34r: I'm guilty of taking my babies out into the germfest. In my defense though, getting out of the house at least once or twice a week helps me a lot. I am prone to depression and sitting around the house makes it worse. I HAVE to get out for my mental well-being. And I'm not about to go anywhere without my babe.

NinjaCakes April 30th, 2013 09:31 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ (Post 27327360)
:ph34r: I'm guilty of taking my babies out into the germfest. In my defense though, getting out of the house at least once or twice a week helps me a lot. I am prone to depression and sitting around the house makes it worse. I HAVE to get out for my mental well-being. And I'm not about to go anywhere without my babe.

That I totally understand. The house starts to feel like a deep, dark cave after a while.

Kelllilee April 30th, 2013 10:26 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
uhh... I took my baby to mom's night in at 3 days ppd...

UrbanMomma April 30th, 2013 11:01 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
I have to say I also am one of the moms who will be out and about within days. Not necessarily for hours on end, but I have to get out of the house or I go stir crazy. It is usually guaranteed that one of my other kids will have something to do that needs MY attention very soon after birth.

Memi April 30th, 2013 11:32 AM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ (Post 27327360)
:ph34r: I'm guilty of taking my babies out into the germfest. In my defense though, getting out of the house at least once or twice a week helps me a lot. I am prone to depression and sitting around the house makes it worse. I HAVE to get out for my mental well-being. And I'm not about to go anywhere without my babe.

:ditto: I just make sure to keep baby in the carrier and usually always by or on me so that they're minimally exposed. And of course don't let anyone start putting their hands towards them.

GranolaMamaOf3 April 30th, 2013 01:21 PM

Re: Things you wish you could say on facebook
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~~Que~~ (Post 27327360)
:ph34r: I'm guilty of taking my babies out into the germfest. In my defense though, getting out of the house at least once or twice a week helps me a lot. I am prone to depression and sitting around the house makes it worse. I HAVE to get out for my mental well-being. And I'm not about to go anywhere without my babe.

I totally understand that! and I'm not saying you shouldn't be allowed to go out. I just wish it wasn't *expected* and even in some cases, required. And I'm right there with you - where I go, babe goes! But I think a park with fresh air or a friend/family's house is different than going grocery shopping and running errands. Ya know what I mean?


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