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underhermantle September 30th, 2013 08:37 AM

Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
Well it happened yesterday. I know this baby is not our first he/she will actually be our 5th but we are so happy about the gift we have been given...so excited because each baby is a unique individual and little person we cant wait to love! I was really hoping things wouldn't have felt so awkward. My inlaws invited us to brunch along with my bil and sil and their 2 adorable children. My 3 yo kinda spilled the beans to my mil prior to us arriving that morning so she knew but did not say any thing to my fil. We prepared a nice reveal for them. I got the sweetest gift bag that said the best gift ever on it and inside I put a sweet baby elephant that sings a lullaby (mil loves elephants collects them). I also put a card that had baby foot prints and said congratulations grandma and grandpa see you in May! This was a gesture of love because I did not even feel like seeing my mil as she can be very difficult and troublesome. I wanted to do the right thing and try to make her happy regardless. When we got there my husband gave her the bag and she was hesitant then my 7yo was asking her to open it. She opened it sort of laughed and said o look a new elephant for my collection...she was playing dumb I guess? Then my sil said something like o wow maybe you can have one for each of the months or something meaning she knew what we were trying to say with the gift? Then mil reads card sort of smile and laughs again and gives it to fil...waits for him to figure it out. He gets up hugs me and says congratulations...thank God cause I was so uncomfortable. MIL says nothing no hug no smile she always hugs me at least??? closes bag and makes it like it never happened. No one says anything to sil and bil so bil says wow really? and that was it. I am feeling awkward so I tell the story of how my 3yo ds told grandma this morning how it was supposed to be a surprise and he cant tell her about the baby in my tummy. Bil and sil laugh. No one says congrats or we are happy for you just fil???? It was weird. I am thinking MIL is not happy and cant understand how she contained herself from telling fil before we got there? Just felt so weird. It is hard for me because my mom is gone and I know she would have been really happy for us. Does anyone else who has lost their mother feel this way. I told mil this but she still remains cold. Anyway that's our big reveal wooptidooo! All I was hoping for was a more warm reaction I guess I should be happy no one said anything negative. It has always be me and dh against the world since I lost my mom and grandma I should be grateful he is so wonderful! Sorry for the pity party ladies just made me feel sad and miss my mom all the more.

joanna26 September 30th, 2013 08:58 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
Aww I'm sorry they were not more excited hun:( Every baby is special and deserves to be celebrated!

xagamama September 30th, 2013 09:00 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
I'm so sorry for your lack luster response. I knew we wouldn't be getting a good response from my MIL either. She actually said "Where in the h*ll are you going to put it?" This is #5 for us as well. Actually #6 because we lost a baby this last May. My MIL said some pretty insensitive things in that situation as well.
I know that she loves my kids to bits when they get here, but she is so rude and adamantly thinks we should be "done" having kids. She made it clear that she thought that about 3 kids ago. HA! My hubby is an only child, but my MIL comes from a family of 7 kids and she is #5 herself! All 7 were raised in the house we currently live in. I just don't get it!! And how someone isn't excited about a new baby is beyond me! My husband and I don't ask for anything, and we don't even hardly ever have help watching the kids. So it is not like this is going to be a new "burden" for her or something.
I honestly just can't wrap my head around any of this! This baby is every bit as exciting as my first! At least my kids are excited and they want to talk baby all of the time. So that makes up for it in the long run!
I'm sorry about the loss of your mom, I can only imagine that makes everything so much worse with your MIL. I hope you can find comfort in those that ARE excited about your news.

underhermantle September 30th, 2013 09:10 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by xagamama (Post 27692008)
I'm so sorry for your lack luster response. I knew we wouldn't be getting a good response from my MIL either. She actually said "Where in the h*ll are you going to put it?" This is #5 for us as well. Actually #6 because we lost a baby this last May. My MIL said some pretty insensitive things in that situation as well.
I know that she loves my kids to bits when they get here, but she is so rude and adamantly thinks we should be "done" having kids. She made it clear that she thought that about 3 kids ago. HA! My hubby is an only child, but my MIL comes from a family of 7 kids and she is #5 herself! All 7 were raised in the house we currently live in. I just don't get it!! And how someone isn't excited about a new baby is beyond me! My husband and I don't ask for anything, and we don't even hardly ever have help watching the kids. So it is not like this is going to be a new "burden" for her or something.
I honestly just can't wrap my head around any of this! This baby is every bit as exciting as my first! At least my kids are excited and they want to talk baby all of the time. So that makes up for it in the long run!
I'm sorry about the loss of your mom, I can only imagine that makes everything so much worse with your MIL. I hope you can find comfort in those that ARE excited about your news.

Wow I certainly understand all you have said. My mil has said some pretty harsh things too. I am so happy for you congratulations and I am so sorry for your loss of baby number five. Thank you so much for your kind words...I feel better. :smile:

Quote:

Originally Posted by joanna26 (Post 27692002)
Aww I'm sorry they were not more excited hun:( Every baby is special and deserves to be celebrated!

Thank you so much!!!!:smile:

Andrea1122 September 30th, 2013 09:15 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
That is so upsetting, I'm sorry.. All babies are blessing no matter how many you have.
I'm fully expecting a bad reaction from my dad, so I'm not looking forward to telling him. I told my mom last week, and wish I hadn't. She is worried about my health and she knew we weren't really wanting another right now. But at least she hugged me, and I know she will be excited. My in laws will be excited too, they had 5 kids.

Don't let her get you down though, be happy even if no one else is

anhoyle September 30th, 2013 09:37 AM

Aww sorry she was so rotten. My in laws weren't really happy for us either since baby #2 wasn't planned and ds will only be 18 months when this baby is born. My mil thinks it's too close and didn't really seem happy when dh told her. She kept saying well if you can handle it more power to you. .... umm last time i checked I'm already pregnant so there's no going back. She started fussing at me to stop nursing my son when my dr said it is fine. I truly think children are a blessing and should be welcomed with loving hearts and arms no matter what.

Beeker September 30th, 2013 11:25 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
Hugs!! My MIL sucks too! Every baby should be a celebration!

fmlbulridr018 September 30th, 2013 11:44 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
*lurking* I am sorry she didnt respond any better. I know how it feels when they are just like ehhh really another one.. hopefully things get bettter :)

mkljmom September 30th, 2013 12:19 PM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
My miI doesn't act weird until the baby arrives. When the babies come, she acts harsh and defensive and always finds something that we do that made her angry. (Last time it was bc my mom brought her bf with her to the hospital). She didn't act happy at all when she came into delivery to see the baby and made my husband so upset with her reaction that he cried. (He doesn't ever cry) She didn't see us or the baby for a month after that. (we normally see her at least once a week).

I just remind DH and myself that it is her issue and not ours. It is hurtful but try not to let her problem make you upset. Don't let her actions and those of others make this time any less special for you!

inyourhonor September 30th, 2013 01:32 PM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
My MIL didn't say congratulations, my FIL was ecstatic. She'll be happy but I know it's just worry and concern. She worries about us, even though she doesn't need to. My husbands brother passed in January and she's attached herself to us, which is fine, we love her dearly. I think she's just afraid something will happen to him because his brother died unexpectedly.

But I know in time she'll come around. My husband keeps saying let them feel that way, it's not their life, we're happy about our pregnancy and that's all that matters.

*hugs*

MommaBean18 September 30th, 2013 02:35 PM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
That's upsetting that she was such a jerk about it. I wish things had gone down better, but you're right. It's a good thing they didn't say anything negative at least. I'm sure once this baby comes they'll love it just as much as your other kiddos :)

ToMuchElmo September 30th, 2013 05:31 PM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
I'm sorry. This will be #5 for us to. I don't expect a great reaction, but my in-laws will be much better than that. My sister on the other hand...

I don;'t look forward to telling anyone. It will be well into the new year.

I am happy for you!! Congratulations!! This will be a sweet and wonderful addition to your family!!:congrats:

emilyeeb September 30th, 2013 06:27 PM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
My mother died when I was 8 years old, so I understand the feelings you are going through. I often wonder how different things would be if she were here. I have a great relationship with my mother in law. Don't get me wrong, she is still a mother in law. ( a little controlling and worries about my daughter when she doesn't need to. To elaborate on that, my daughter used to stand on her toes a lot before she started walking. I thought it was cute. My mother in law and her occupational therapy sister kept telling me how I needed to watch that and force her to stand flat. I frankly told them she was perfect, I wouldn't do that, and it would work itself out. Sure enough, when she started walking, she didn't stand on her toes. But there have been a few things just like that) But anyway, the bigger problem I have is with my step-mom. She can be really fake and insincere. Sometimes I feel like she acts how she thinks she is supposed to for a given situation instead of being real. So it was hard watching her "gush" over my daughter when she was born, but just long enough to take pics and post them on her fb bragging about a new grandbaby. But never visits and when she is around my daughter, she is on her ipad and barely pays attention to her. She never had kids of her own and so she really doesn't think like a mom. It makes me miss mine so badly. Sorry that you have to miss your mom too.

underhermantle October 1st, 2013 07:58 AM

Re: Told Inlaws was hoping it be better :o(
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by emilyeeb (Post 27693736)
My mother died when I was 8 years old, so I understand the feelings you are going through. I often wonder how different things would be if she were here. I have a great relationship with my mother in law. Don't get me wrong, she is still a mother in law. ( a little controlling and worries about my daughter when she doesn't need to. To elaborate on that, my daughter used to stand on her toes a lot before she started walking. I thought it was cute. My mother in law and her occupational therapy sister kept telling me how I needed to watch that and force her to stand flat. I frankly told them she was perfect, I wouldn't do that, and it would work itself out. Sure enough, when she started walking, she didn't stand on her toes. But there have been a few things just like that) But anyway, the bigger problem I have is with my step-mom. She can be really fake and insincere. Sometimes I feel like she acts how she thinks she is supposed to for a given situation instead of being real. So it was hard watching her "gush" over my daughter when she was born, but just long enough to take pics and post them on her fb bragging about a new grandbaby. But never visits and when she is around my daughter, she is on her ipad and barely pays attention to her. She never had kids of her own and so she really doesn't think like a mom. It makes me miss mine so badly. Sorry that you have to miss your mom too.

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom too...thank you so much for your words and support...I am so grateful. :smile:

Thank you ladies for your support...I feel so much better after reading all of them. Thank you for reminding me what is most important!


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