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-   -   I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1918-october-2013-playroom/2651646-i-dont-know-if-im-cut-out-for-anymore.html)

ILoveStorm2011 May 19th, 2013 09:05 AM

I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
So I moved in with my mother who has two children 9 and 10.
They are great kids, but god are they exhausting for me! Always bickering and then being bossy or not paying attention. I took them grocery shopping and I felt so bad because it was a lot of me correcting and raising my voice to get them to just pay attention.
Someone please tell me it might be different with my own kids :( I just re-met these kids after 5 years so maybe that has something to do with it? And the fact that they are not MY kids? I just do not feel cut out for this parenting thing right now

mama2ladybugs May 19th, 2013 09:10 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
Its always different with your own kids. You didnt raise them so they arent going to act accordingly. Kids will be kids no matter what but dont base anything on other peoples kids.

jennyrae03 May 19th, 2013 10:12 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
The thing about your own children is just that: they're YOUR OWN children. You get to raise them the way you want to, and hopefully teach them to be kind and respectful. I hope I don't offend you in any way by saying this, but it sounds to me like these two have just kind of been left to their own defenses in the manners department?

Honestly, I would be very frustrated too. I agree with babygreenes.mommy - don't base your opinions of how your life will be off of somebody else's children.

I'm sure you will be a WONDERFUL mother :)

allysmomma May 19th, 2013 10:27 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
I agree with Jenny, also, most everyone else's kids will annoy you at some point in time, whether they are related or not. Also, I, for one have taught my kids to be respectful and have manners, but there are some days when they are rude and out of control, ok, well a lot of days. But there is no lack of discipline in our home. They could be having an off day or they are just being kids and you are not used to that. :)

Lemon May 19th, 2013 10:30 AM

Well, it will be different when it's your own children.
I would say my kids are very well behaved, respectful and all that jazz. There are plenty of days they drive me and each other crazy. :)
That's parenting though. You take the good with the bad. You have plenty of time before you have to worry about bickering though. Don't stress yourself out. :)

Allisonjuly May 19th, 2013 11:17 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
It's the combo I bet.

Out of my 4 kids there are several combos of two that make shopping horrible. Also my oldest two are the closest in age and fight/bicker the most.

cooper1414 May 19th, 2013 11:49 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
Even your own will drive you nuts sometimes LOL, but it's much different when they are your own and not someone elses.

curlimama05 May 19th, 2013 11:50 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
Your kids will drive you crazy at times. And that's okay. Totally normal.

Iluvmybabies* May 19th, 2013 11:52 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
Yeah I agree with everyone it is different with your own kids BUT yeah even your kids will drive you crazy at times lol

SierraWinter May 19th, 2013 11:59 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
I agree with everyone else on this, I think its different when its your kids. I think my SIL's kids are the only kids that dont annoy me because I totally agree with their style of parenting. Most other kids I find pretty annoying and frankly dont always like.

*Lana* May 19th, 2013 01:18 PM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
My niece and nephews used to come over to my house when they were little, the 3 of them were a breeze. They may misbehave at times, but one of the others put them in line--I also had a rule that all 3 would have to agree on what we did. It may take a little while, but they would all compromise and let me know what they decided. They were at their other aunt's a lot, they behaved like they would at home. It was a treat spending time with me, but nothing of of the ordinary being with the other aunt.
Your own kids are different. You raise them how you want. Your own kids have to answer to you--for these kids, you are just a sister. Next time they want to go somewhere with you, try saying no, with the reason that they were not good last time you took them out. Or slowly teach them at home---could offer to play a game with one of them if they help you do XYZ chore first.

slmehaffey May 19th, 2013 02:32 PM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
I like to say that unless you are adopting an older child you get to start out with a fresh slate if it is your own kid... when they are born you each figure each other out, (mostly you figure out your baby) then as they get older they start figuring you out and if you are consistent and keep your home drama free the kids kinda follow suit. Sure they can bicker or be naughty, but you've had years of practise with YOUR kids... to know how to handle the situation...
you really can't look at a kid whose 8-10 and try to figure out how to parent your own kids based on your experience with that one. You'll do great I'm sure!

mizza411 May 19th, 2013 03:22 PM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
This is my first, but since you haven't seen these children in 5 years I would say they were probably trying to see how far they could push their boundaries with you. Will be different with your own!

Seasaidh May 19th, 2013 05:26 PM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
Behavior has so much to do with how *you* act with them. If you tell them what to do and don't reenforce your demands, you teach them that your demands mean nothing. If you allow them to ignore you until you raise your voice, you ensure that they won't pay attention until your voice is raised.

Be firm and consistent (consistency is key) and don't take any crap. You'll be fine.

jamieshalon2 May 20th, 2013 07:43 AM

Re: I dont know if I'm cut out for this anymore
 
Yeah a lot of it is in how you raise them, but honestly I have never came across siblings that didn't bicker most of the time, lol. It really is different when it is your own kids though. I still find that other people's kids have a tendency to annoy me more than my own. No clue why though, lol.


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