JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   October 2013 Playroom (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1918-october-2013-playroom/)
-   -   How to keep strangers away from the baby. (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1918-october-2013-playroom/2674776-how-to-keep-strangers-away-baby.html)

Spyctre August 25th, 2013 07:20 PM

How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Probably every BTDT parent has had this happen in the store or some other place. Some stranger comes up and tried to touch your baby. Why? I have no clue. You'd think some people never saw a miniature human before. This is what I do when it happens.

*someone comes up to the buggy* "Awww! Aren't you the cutest thing ever!" *reaches out a hand*

I step between them quickly, chopping an hand between the stranger digits and the baby while summoning my best look of panic. "Ringworms! You don't want them, too!"

Never fail, the person looks suitably terrified, and they back the hell away from my child in a hurry. lol I picked this up after a stranger touched my child for the first time, a stranger with a bandaid on her face, and a ringworm mysteriously appeared a day later where she was touched. The truth worked like a charm so I've lied about it every other time to this day.




Some people are more direct. "Do not touch my child. Do you know where your hands have been?"



So BTDT mamas, what have you done in the past? Has your child ever gotten sick from a stranger? The worst mine got was from a Rita refugee. I was looking away during the reach. =P Some dude from New Orleans touched DD1 on the nose, and she vomited bile the next 7 days. A stomach virus came up with the people running from that hurricane. My FIL interacted with a family of them and also got it. DD1 was only 8 months. Poor baby was so so sick.

east to west coast August 25th, 2013 07:58 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
The worst mine got was from a Rita refugee. I was looking away during the reach. =P Some dude from New Orleans touched DD1 on the nose, and she vomited bile the next 7 days. A stomach virus came up with the people running from that hurricane. My FIL interacted with a family of them and also got it. DD1 was only 8 months. Poor baby was so so sick.


Omg! What a terrible story!!!!

This was a huge stressor for me with my daughter. I actually wasn't aware how common it was for people to want to touch babies until I had her, and I'm not good at confrontation. So, for the first month or so after she was born, I would walk away from those kind of situations so stressed out and worried because I never said anything to the person who decided to touch her face, hair, etc. without asking. After that I realized I needed to learn to be an advocate for my daughter regardless of whether it made me uncomfortable or not.

soul_donut August 25th, 2013 08:21 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
YIKES - that would make me want to bring a fly swatter and just swat people. I might use the ringworm thing if I get tired of being direct.. ;)

Wanta.number2 August 25th, 2013 08:35 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
When I had DS, I honestly didn't think about this just because I wouldn't walk up and touch someone's newborn, baby, or child for that matter. Its just a boundary thing for me.

That was, until strangers started to touch my baby. Before he was born, I had strangers touch my belly. NO GO. I would standing in line somewhere getting a drink to have someone startle me as they reached out to touch my stomach...and rage ensued.

If you don't want someone to touch your baby, get your arm out there and between them and baby. It may make you uncomfortable, but this is the way I see it: you are a new, protective mother. To me, it is extremely disrespectful to reach out and touch my defenseless newborn without permission, especially when I don't know you from Adam. So, since you disrespected me, I'll show you the same courtesy, although politely, that I don't want you to touch my baby and you really shouldn't do the same to anyone else's without permission.

SierraWinter August 25th, 2013 08:44 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
eww, I didn't realize strangers liked to touch babies they don't know :blink: That seems odd. I like the fly swatter idea!
Thanks for the heads up on this one. I have a tendency to be direct so I imagine I'll make strangers a little uncomfortable.

Seasaidh August 25th, 2013 08:47 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Some passive solutions (for those of us who really hate acting/lying or feeling like we have to explain ourselves to strangers):

wear your baby (people are less likely to try to grope your kid if it also means getting all up in your business)

Obscure the baby (drape over the stroller or wrap baby in a blanket - a physical barrier will keep away all but the most socially challenged individuals. Not being able to see baby means less likely to find something to comment about - no need for deflecting a conversation that never begins).

B*tchy Resting Face (cultivate unapproachability by *looking* like you don't want a conversation/interaction - don't make eye contact, speak to your baby in low tones that only she can hear, appear exhausted/busy/etc. This can be isolating, but it helps keep unwanted interactions away)

Drawback is none of this is particularly friendly, but used alone or together, the techniques are pretty effective.

ILoveStorm2011 August 25th, 2013 09:59 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Seasaidh (Post 27612124)

B*tchy Resting Face (cultivate unapproachability by *looking* like you don't want a conversation/interaction - don't make eye contact, speak to your baby in low tones that only she can hear, appear exhausted/busy/etc. This can be isolating, but it helps keep unwanted interactions away)

Drawback is none of this is particularly friendly, but used alone or together, the techniques are pretty effective.

I think this is the exact reason no stranger has even attempted to touch my belly :D I look very unapproachable and when I am out I tend to walk fast, or waddle, and when I'm in line I just look impatient. I'm just hoping it has the same effect when I have the baby.

Ew to people touching a random baby btw. I wouldn't do it and dont see why others would feel the need to compulsively touch someone else's child.

jamieshalon2 August 26th, 2013 05:50 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
I honestly don't think I have ever had a stranger try to touch my baby, lol. I guess I give off that ****** face all the time, haha.

curlimama05 August 26th, 2013 06:02 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
I havent really had a problem with it, but I'm seriously considering making my 5-year old the official handwashing Nazi lol.

SouthernBelle86 August 26th, 2013 06:19 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
If a non family member tried to touch my stomach right now I would put my purse in front blocking them. lol. Being that I am going to be a FTM I am probably going to freak out if someone tried to touch my son who is a stranger at the store. Mama Bear will come out! lol

Wanta.number2 August 26th, 2013 09:26 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
This STILL bothers me even now with my almost 6 year old. There was a greeter at Walmart who reached out and patted my son's head. Mind you, he was just being nice, but for a split second, that momma-bear-is-going-to-rip-your-eyes-out anger welled up. It never really stops!

Aimee319 August 26th, 2013 10:39 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Uhg I HATE when people try to touch DS. It doesn't happen often but when it does I still don't have a good way to make them stop. It's usually so quick that it happens before I can stop it, unfortunately. He's never gotten sick from a touch but you just never know what could happen. I have had old ladies graze his cheek and I know they mean well but I just want to slap their hand away.

JeCaLe August 26th, 2013 11:25 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
I have never had anybody touch one of my boys before so I have no idea how I would handle it. People rarely even peered in to see. Since it will be cold here, she will be pretty much covered anyways.

jennyrae03 August 26th, 2013 11:38 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
I think I'll just tell everybody that my child has a flesh-eating bacteria that is only contagious if someone touches his skin directly...lol

Sorry, that's terrible of me. Bad joke, bad joke.

2Corinthians10:4 August 26th, 2013 11:51 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
I will babywear which will hopefully cut down on most of the problems. With Dd I wasn't scared to literally slap peoples hands either though, dude don't touch my baby.

Seasaidh August 26th, 2013 11:54 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jennyrae03 (Post 27613516)
I think I'll just tell everybody that my child has a flesh-eating bacteria that is only contagious if someone touches his skin directly...lol

Sorry, that's terrible of me. Bad joke, bad joke.

For some reason this comment made me giggle. Probably because you look like you got all self-conscious about it after you wrote it. hehehe.

gRod August 26th, 2013 11:59 AM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
In the deep Hispanic culture one must touch a cute baby in fear that they get the evil eye. I’m a pretty educated and well-traveled woman and I still see it places. So, when I visit “home” I am super used to others touching my kid. I even find myself doing it when home – touching others cute babies. I have found the best thing to do in my case is have the baby covered as much as possible out in public. Like if they are in the infant seat, keep the sun visor down and baby facing towards me. I also encourage people to only touch their ankles or heel if possible. Most of the time they oblige.
If I’m out anywhere else in the country or I’m back home I am protective and not embarrassed easily. I’m not a shy person, so I will tell them flat out not to touch my baby and will physically stop them in their tracks if I see them going in. I have never had bad luck with someone specific giving my kid some crazy illness or disease.
I’m a touchy feely person, I don’t get too crazy.

Arwen, As for knowing exactly where your kids do get sick, that is pretty with it. I guess you don’t go out much because anyone or anything you came into contact that day or days before also can get your kiddos sick (i.e., tummy bug, cold, flu). It’s hard to pin point that it was the person displaced by Katrina that gave your kiddo the tummy bug, unless you saw them ill before hand. Just saying! ;)

WorkerBeeMama August 26th, 2013 01:34 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Haha, I have the unaproachability vibe a lot, so most of the time, people stay away. I might use the ringworm excuse or tell them to step the f*&% back if they get too close!

cooper1414 August 26th, 2013 03:29 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
The thing is if a newborn gets sick they have to do tons of tests on them. That happened with DS3. They did blood work and had to use a catheter to get a urine sample because he got a fever at a young age. So I don't think I will worry if I offend someone by telling a stranger, "Sorry, he's a newborn."

Laurenj915 August 26th, 2013 04:18 PM

Re: How to keep strangers away from the baby.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Seasaidh (Post 27612124)

wear your baby .

I did this for over a year and no one ever came up to touch Sawyer.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:30 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.