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LeedaRenee March 17th, 2006 06:01 AM

(I will try to get this stickied)

Many women who have suffered a loss or multiple losses fear they will never have the baby that they desire in their arms one day. If you have suffered a loss or multiple losses and have gone on to have a baby despite your struggle, please post your story here. It gives hope to those who are newly pg or in the middle, or even those who are ttc. I would ask that only stories be posted here and replies be done in a seperate post. Thanks!

ocmorrishome March 20th, 2006 08:55 PM

Hello Ladies,
Ok I am going to try to make this short.
1st m/c ----I had a m/c in Sept. '00 . This m/c was natural.
Heatlhy baby ----Got preg. in Nov. '00 then had a healthy baby girl July ' 01.
2nd m/c ---- My husband and I have decided to have another child in 2005. We had a m/c Sept. '05. This m/c was natural.
3rd m/c ----Got preg in Nov. '05 and m/c Jan '06. I had a D&C with this m/c. An oh my gosh the recovery time was very min. I rested for one day and I was on my feet the next day. With the others I was in pain for a couple of weeks.
Currently ----We got preg Feb. '06 and I am now about 8 weeks preg. My last two preg's we never got to see the heartbeat. The baby never developed. An with this baby the Dr. put me on pregesterone. An as of last week after we saw the heartbeat he has me on injections once a week.

I know that it's hard not to think about having a m/c but you need not to cheat yourself out of enjoying your pregnancy. I know it's easier said then done. It's healthier to think positive and not so negative.

I want to wish everyone the best of luck with your little ones. An for the ones that TTC are the ones that are thinking about getting Preg. Good luck and only you will know when your ready.


Olivia

countrybaby March 31st, 2006 09:46 AM

I suppose I'll share my story. I haven't been through nearly as much as some women, but it's still been a painful journey.

DH and I went off BC (which I'll NEVER use again) shortly after we were married in 2003. Being a young (18 & 21 at the time) and very healthy couple, with NO fertility/pregnancy problems in our families, we didn't expect it to take very long, nor did we expect to have any problems. So after 5 months of charting, we got pregnant. Sadly, we lost that baby. I was devistated. All my life all I've wanted was to be a wife and a mother. So why was this happening to me? Although I only had a short time with that baby, I still fell so in love...it was MINE! And now the biggest memory I have of that time is being on an ER table for 6 hours, crying and in pain, and facing the reality that I was losing my baby.

We didn't wait to TTC again...we started as soon as my bleeding stopped. I wanted so badly to get pregnant again. I was sure that the m/c was a one time thing and that next time everything would be okay. So we did get pregnant again, 6 months later. Once again, it took longer than I'd hoped, but at least it happened.

Once again, I only had a few short weeks with my precious baby. And then I m/c'd again. It was so hard. I didn't understand how this could be happening when the odds were FOR us (age, health, family hx, my cycles & hormones being textbook, etc). So by then I was too afraid to try again.

But it didn't take long for my baby fever to overrule my fear. Although I was scared out of my mind, I wanted to try again. So we did, but during that time I also had some simple bloodwork done, and nothing was found to be contributing to my losses or time TTC.

We finally got pregnant again 5 months after the 2nd loss. This time I found out at 8 DPO and immediately put myself on progesterone cream as an extra precaution until I could get in for a suppository script, even though my bloodwork showed my level was naturally at 28. This baby stuck, praise the Lord.

I'm now holding a precious 5 week old little girl in my arms (yes, I've been typing this 1-handed LOL). My journey of 16 months TTC and 2 losses has taught me to TRULY appreciate the gift of a child, and I realize that until you've been through those things, although you still love your children, it's just not the same as it would be if you had to suffer beforehand, KWIM? God truly does have the best plans for all of us, and although I don't understand why I had to go through what I did, I know there was a reason...and I know those little babies paved the way for this one, and I'm so blessed.

VegasMom April 8th, 2006 07:37 PM

I had my first child when I was 19 and had very few problems with the pregnancy or birth. Four years later I found I was pregnant again but miscarried at 8 weeks. For the next seven years my husband and I tried everything we could to get pg again, but we were unsuccessful. We decided to give up and just be happy with our one healthy happy son. In April 2000, we found out we were pg after 7 years!! We were so excited, our son was excited our family and friends were just thrilled for us. At 11 weeks, we miscarried. We were absolutely destroyed. Why would God do this to us? So the tests began again. What we go through to procreate.

Three years went by and no pregnancies. Just before Christmas of 2003 I found I was pg again, that one ended in January of 2004. Six months later in June of 2004, I again had a positive preg test. In July I had an ultrasound which showed a healthy heartbeat and we were happy. Then in August another US showed no signs of life. That one ended in August of 2004 at 9 weeks. Six months later, Feb of 2005 I missed my period and took a home test which came out positive, that one ended 6 days after my period was supposed to start and was by far the easiest I had had, physically but not emotionally.

My Dr. started doing tests again, not to see why I couldnt conceive but why I couldn't carry. After all, I had somehow become a fertile myrtle and this couldn't be good for my body. He found that I had two copies of a gene mutation which made me have a folic acid deficiency and put me on folic acid.

Only 4 months later I found that I was pregnant again, in July of 2005. That one also ended in August of 2005. That was it, I was done. I couldn't take anymore heartache. Four miscarriages in less than 2 years! I went in for a D&C and my Dr. held my hand as the anesthesiologist put me out and I told him I didn't want to do it anymore, I gave up for good this time. After the surgery the Dr. told me he removed a fibroid the size of a grapefruit and had also found a septum in my uterus which he removed. I just knew I didn't want to do it anymore. Then next month I had my period right on time as usual.

I refused to let my husband anywhere near me, I couldn't go through it again ever. One night I gave in to my husband. My next period didn't come. I took a test and you know it...........positive. I cried for a week. I couldn't go through it again. My Dr. took me in asap for an apt. and scheduled me for an ultrasound. The us showed nothing, only a yolk sack but no baby. So he told me it looked like a blighted ovum, but he wanted to do another ultrasound next week before he scheduled me for a D&C he wanted to be sure. The day before Thanksgiving I went in for my US and it was a miracle, there was the baby right there just as it should be. Dr. was amazed as he had never seen anything like that happen. Heart beat was healthy, developement was just as it should be. The wait through the first trimester was torture but I made it. I am now pregnant with a perfectly healthy baby boy and I thank God everyday for my gift. I know that this little miracle was meant to be and God meant for him to be here. I hope you all continue to try and not give up because when it is time your miracle will come to you.

UPDATED ON JUNE 22 2006

Friday June 9, 2006 my little miracle was born. After 6 losses and worse of all the loss of all hope I had a healthy happy pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. We named him Nicholas Ryan and he weighed 7 lbs and was 21 inches long.

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e1...s/PICT0003.jpg

abfabmom April 11th, 2006 12:20 PM

I have never potsed before but here is my story I hope it helps someone

I married DH in 96. Found out we were pregnant in May 98. Both families were thrilled Dear MIL the most as she always wanted grandbabies to play with. I had horrible morning sickness and then about 16 weeks what I thought must be heartburn. Every night horrible nothing seemed to help it. We had the big US done at 18 weeks and it was a girl. Dr. said she was small gave me info and said we would schedule a follow up US at my next appt. The next appt was at 23 weeks. He asked if I was feeling her move.. No I never did. He couldn't find the HB and took us in for US ...She had passed on. I was induced the next day and we were too emotional to have an autospy done. The Chromasone test came back normal so this was just one of those with no explantion. I had to have emergancy gallbladder surgery 2 days after I came home from the hospital. Turns out it was gallbladder not heart burn I was having. Eeks !
In April of 99 we found out I was pregnant again. now I wasn't emotionaly ready nor was it planned but what can you do. I started spotting at about 5 weeks or so went for several US over the next several weeks only to find BABY was fine but I have a heart shaped uterus. ( Never seen the first pregnancy) They call it a bicornate uterus and it Can lead to miscarrage or preterm labor. Hmmm thank goodness for modern science. I was a basket case even after we hit the 23 week mark. Thru the whole pregnancy I was sure he was going to die too! I really had an uneventful pregnancy except for horrible morning/allday sickness. He was breech and because of my uterus they wouldnt turn him. So He was born via c-section at 38 weeks. He weighed 8lbs 7oz.!!I couldn't beleive he had made it. The whole family was there with MIL the proudest and she had tons of presents Boy did she love him to death. DS and MIL were very close but unfortuntaly she died in 04 of bone cancer. Most horrible thing I have ever seen. However I did get my reason why our baby girl had to pass on first . In her last days MIL was fighting death and the family by her side would tell her to go be with baby Jess. Several times she would hold an imaginary baby in her arms. It was very hard to watch but I know it helped her to have a grandbaby waiting for her.
After my DS was born I grieved my little girl all over again. I saw thru him what I had missed out on with her. I was able to deal with it mostly because I did have my DS. DH and I decided not ttc again. We would be fine with just DS. The risks to baby were to great. Even tho he made it and was big didn't mean I wouldn't have problems with another pregnancy. I just didn't think I could handle losing another child.
Never say never !!!! Again unplanned. I am now 21 weeks prego with a baby girl! We are due Aug. 23. I am now on moderate bedrest because of cervical lentgh and funneling. I am somewhat more relaxed this time than with DS Ok really it depends on the day. But I am sure you can all understand. She is perfect size and I have felt her move for several weeks now and oh what a great feeling. I just know this is out of my control and I am doing everything the Dr. says. Hope this helps somone.
Jen

pineda714 May 23rd, 2006 10:30 AM

Hi. I'm new here but want to give my story too and offer a little hope to someone.

In 2000, I found out I was pregnant at the young age of 18. I had some spotting in my 3rd month, but went on to have a very healthy beautiful little girl.

In 2001, I had a 2nd positive on Valentine's day. I put the test in the box and wrapped it for my husband (who is not the father of my 1st and wanted so badly for us to have one together). We were both very thrilled. A week later I was shopping and felt a huge gush. I dropped everything and rushed to my dr. who told me I was miscarrying. I had a natural miscarriage.

4 1/2 months later, another positive. I was excited but very scared. I tried to look past my fear, but as I was cooking dinner 13 days later, I felt another gush of blood. Dr. confirmed another m/c. This one happened the day before our 1st wedding anniversary. This one went on for almost 3 months and the Dr. insisted that the blood clots the size of my fist and the gushes of blood I was experiencing were "all in my head". I switched doctors.

On August 8, 2002, we had another positive. We were very worried that history would repeat, but we got to our 8th week and saw a heartbeat and thought we were in the clear. When I was 16 weeks, I woke up one morning with what I remembered to be labor pains. I started bleeding and my husband rushed me to the ER. I layed on that table for 4 hours before the dr. would even look at me. I had to get up to use the toilet and blood went everywhere. He rushed me in for an ultrasound and we saw the baby's heartbeat and saw him moving around. After the ultrasound was done, I got up to use the toilet again, and the baby came out in my hands. Kicking and moving. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I was devastated. We found out that day that it was a boy.

I vowed to never get pregnant again because I couldn't take the heartbreak anymore. But, someone had different plans for me. On Feb 26, 2005, I had a very strange feeling to get a pregnancy test. I did and another positive. This time I went to a completely different town to a completely different dr. and found that I have hypothyroidism, positive for lupus anticoagulant and positive for anticardiolipin antibodies. I was put on heparin injections and synthroid. I had a lot of scares with bleeding and spotting, but on September 30, 2005, I gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl.

I will never forget any of my losses. My first 2 were very early, but they were still devastating and you love them from the second you see that 2nd line. I will always have a place in my heart for them.

To all of you who have gone through a loss no matter how many times or how early......never give up hope. When you do get your positive, you will be scared, there is no getting around that, but enjoy having that little life inside you. Just when you think you will never have your dream, life gives you a surprise.

mrsjdaniels June 8th, 2006 11:46 AM

my story has its ups and downs and hoepfully will end on a happy note!

in high school, i'd gottent pregnant at 16...scared outta my mind and confused about my situation I had an abortion...only to let this happen again to me from sophomore year of college. But this time I went to the clinic and was told "you aren't pregnant"...the baby had no heartbeat and they said "let's take it out since you haven't passed it yet.

But I never thought too deep about the event instead feeling shame at being pregnant at all.

So i get married...and within the first 2 mths of being married - surprise...we are pregnant! we are thrilled! everyone knows...my car dealership, ppl at church...everybody! and at 13 weeks I go in for a routine ultrasound...NO HEARTBEAT...baby died at 11.5 weeks (D&C)

fast forward to oct 05'...we get another BFP, go in to confirm and yolk sac...no baby...(D&C)

so by this time I am 3 times into m/c's but too scared to tell my husband about the one in college...

we undergo testing and I find that I have MTHFR in one gene...a folic acid deficiency...we finally have an answer...

so now I am almost 11 weeks...have had 2 ultrasounds so far and another tomorrow...taking 4mgs of folic acid daily and meeting with a high risk doctor next week...

i hope and pray all works out this time because we've told almost no one...my mom still doesn't even know

SandKmommy July 24th, 2006 09:42 AM

I got pregnant last july and miscarred last august at 5 1/2 weeks along. I didnt have AF for 61 days till the docs brought it on with a progesterone shot and I ended up getting pregnant with durring that shot and the AF i got in october. We found out I was pregnant on November 12th 2005 and our EDD was July 19th 2006. I moved to Texas the month after we found out so I only had one prenatal visit before we left. We only lasted in Texas till Febuary durring which time i didnt see a doctor sence i didnt have insurence in Texas, but I did end up getting sick a few times and having bad thoughts about loosinjg this one too, I got a bladder/kidney infection durring christmas and went to the er and then in the end of january i got sick again and after a week of throwing up andnot able to even drink water we went back to the er and found out nothing, a week later in the beginning of febuary we went back and found out i still had the infection along with an intestional infection, so we moved back to idaho where i still had insurance and my ob/gyn for 3 years was. we got back and they put me on phenegren to try and eat so the baby would be healthy and not premature, in april we did the Gestational diabetes test and it came back positive, and in may i got put on insulin in the mornings because my levels wouldnt stay down. in june we found out i also tested positive for group b strep and found out they would be inducing me before my due date due to the gestational diabetes and they thought the baby was going to be over 9lbs. well they induced me last monday and our little seamus was born tuesday night a healthy 7lbs 9oz 21 inches long and no effecfts from the diabetes, but he had some breathing problems and was in the nicu for 3 hours then they let him come to my room and we were supposed to leave but he was having a bad time with vomiting and they kept him over night, the next morning we noticed he was very very yellow, and they did his billirubin test and it came back just a little above normal but was rising and they took him to the nicu again and put him under the lights he was under them from 1pm thursday till 8am friday, his levels fell only .4 by 8am friday but the doc said to just let him lie in his crib till 4 pm and retest. well he was good and we are now home and he is doing great. it was worth the hard year to have such a beautiful baby

hopin4a4rth August 30th, 2006 05:51 AM

del

Yoshi October 13th, 2006 07:54 PM

I will not go into the details but I have some infos that might give some hope to some people. On February 24th of this year, I miscarried. I was 6 weeks pregnant. We cried and cried.
About 3 months later, we got pregnant again. It took me a while before wanting to believe it. Now, I believe it. I am so happy and love my baby. Today, we had an ultrasound. The due date is Februrary 24th. We will have a boy.
I feel it is like an angel is looking over us.

michaelsbaby November 10th, 2006 04:18 PM

My DH and I had decided to finally have a baby of our own. In April of 2005 we found out we were expecting, and we're so excited. I had some spotting and cramping, and went into the ER and had an ultrasound scheduled for the next day. We found out that the baby had quit growing and died. So on May 19th 2005, we had a d&c. We were both so upset about the loss of our baby. It was at 10 weeks when we had our d&c.

In November 2005 we found out we were pregnant again, we were excited but scared at the same time. This pregnancy was different. I had some cramping and spotting early on this time, but we got an u/s and saw our baby and heartbeat and knew this one was different. July 31st 2006, Jocelyn Sydni was born weighing 8lbs 15oz and was 21 inches long. We are very blessed to have our little girl!

margo1973 November 13th, 2006 09:30 AM

Hi,

Here is my story.

In the early spring of 2005, DH and I decided to start trying and I got pregnant three cycles later. We had a great 6 week ultrasound with a heartbeat but a week later I started spotting and another ultrasound showed that I had a missed miscarriage. I was devastated. My doctor prescribed misoprostol to help me miscarry but I ended up having complications that dragged on through the fall.

After the miscarriage, we waited 3 cycles to try again but I started charting and took my charts to my doctor because it seemed like my cycles were very short. She tested my progesterone and it turned out very low indicating that I either wasn't ovulating or had poor quality eggs. The bad news seemed like it would never end. DH and I even started looking into adoption.

My doctor prescribed Clomid and I got pregnant on the first Clomid cycle. I had a problem free pregnancy and delivered a healthy baby boy on November 5, 2006. Everything I went through, the miscarriage, the fear that I would never conceive again and the constant anxiety with the second pregnancy are worth it. My baby is such a miracle.

I am extremely grateful to my doctor because she took my concerns very seriously, was very proactive in getting me medication and has been wonderfully supportive throughout the whole process including the delivery. I encourage anyone who is not 100% happy with their doctor to look for someone else.

Good luck and don't ever get discouraged!

Margo

Gaby&Emmy'sMama November 16th, 2006 11:53 PM

Nov 2, 2001 I experienced my first pregnancy loss, at 10w4d....
Nov 19, 2005 I experienced a miscarriage at 5w4d..

I believed I'd never have my much wanted baby in my arms.

We were lucky enough to fall pregnant in our 3rd cycle post m/c - however we broke up when I was only 7 weeks along...

The first trimester was hard for me, on an emotional level... I was on constant blood-on-TP watch, and convinced myself I was going to m/c again....

I went for my 12w scan, and was sure there would be no baby...

THERE WAS! I was so relieved, I cried alllll day!

Went for my 20w scan... and once again was sure it would show no living baby, even though i'd started feeling movements a few weeks earlier...

MY BABY WAS THRIVING!

Slowly I began to believe I would finally get my dream, and have my own baby safely in my arms...

Entering the 3rd trimester, I began getting scared again, that I was going to lose the baby. I had bonded with my baby girl, and really did not imagine that I could go on with life, if I lost her.... I read too many stories about 3rd trimester losses, and spent a bulk of that trimester with severe anxiety, because I was all too aware of what could happen.

October 12 - my EDD came and went with no bubby...
October 24 I went in to be induced...

Induction on the 24th was unsuccessful, so the 25th we tried again......... once again - no change!

I decided to have a caesarean on the 26th, and my m/w and the hospital ob scheduled me in for later in the morning....

That evening I lost my plug - and then my water broke! There was meconium in the waters though, so I opted to have an emergency c/s that evening.....

1.01am on Thursday 26th October, I heard the first (of many! lol) cries from my precious baby girl.... Although I think I cried more than her... I was so overwhelmed, and over the moon.. It was an amazing moment...

Gabrielle Jayda-Lee (Gaby) was born weighing 8lb4oz, measuring 51cm, and a head circ of 37cm...

I wish everyone who finds themselves on this board, all the best of luck with your current pregnancy - never ever give up hope!

TessAleah December 9th, 2006 11:33 AM

Hello, here is my story.. (long one sorry)

I had three healthy children in the United States. They are now 18, 15 and 13.

I married my husband 4 years ago and within 3 months of marrying I discovered I was pg. We decided to hasten our move to England as we were planning it for 6 months later.

Two weeks after getting to England I had a nagging cramp in my abdomen. After a Dr visit and a subsequent Hospital stay they discovered it was an ectopic and I was rushed into emergency surgery. Four days later I returned to my mother in laws house to rest up.. 11 days after they did another HCG and discovered my HCG levels weren't lowered. I was phoned and told to return to the hospital the following Monday Morning... (This was on a Saturday) Sunday morning I woke to extreme pain and nausea and soon realised something was terribly wrong. We called out the emergency Doctor and he said my tube had ruptured adn they had to get me to hospital with great haste. (Yes, the DR will make a home visit here, pretty neat I think) The ambulance rushed me to the hospital and it was discovered that I was in fact carrying twins and both had been ectopic. (This was November 2002)
We were all devistated as I was still trying to adjust to the country. (my Husband is English)

In April 2003 we discovered I was pg once again. We were over the moon when we had the US to verify this was not another ectopic and I was in fact 6 wks with a normal pregnancy.
The joy was shortlived. :( At eleven weeks I started cramping and with another US we discovered I was in fact miscarrying. I was 10weeks 6 days gone. I had a DNC the following day and the emotional trauma and sadness of that day was emense.

In November 2003, we got great joy and etreme fear when we discovered we were expecting yet again. This joy was shortlived as within 4 weeks my abdomen started hurting and we were told I had yet another ectopic pregnancy. (By now I had only my right tube)
I was rushed to hospital and taken into surgery. The Surgeon was able to cut the tube open and remove the ectopic pregnancy. I awoke from surgery 3 hours later and was on a morphine drip, as they had to cut as if I had a cesarean. I was very emotional and wanted to hide away from everyone.
I then came to my senses the following day, looked at my mother in law and said "I am still pregnant". She thought I was just emotional and of course the morphine may have played a part in my not accepting the pg was over.
I had severeal HCG tests whilst in hospital and they were not going down but in fact going up but not in line with a normal pregnancy. It appeared I had yet another ectopic pregnancy. :(
They were able to save my tube but with another ectopic I knew they would have to remove it. I was very emotional and turned to my mother in law for support as all my family was in the United States.
After four days on morphine I was told I would have to go back into the operating theatre and they will have to find the ectopic that was remaining. Monday morning came around and I was being prepped for surgery. I begged the Dr to take me for one last scan as I was convinced i had a normal pregnancy and didnt want to risk yet another surgery.
With great reluctance, my DR took me for a scan and her words as she was wheeling me to the scan room were "Right we will scan you, but then we are straight into the operating theatre to get you sorted"
We went into the scan room and low and behold... to my DR's amazement... there was a yolk sac in the uterus!! :)
We were warned not to get excited as the surgery had been a long one and there was only about a 15% chance of survival within the first trimester. Then the statistics went up but there was a great chance there would be something wrong with the baby.
We didn't care we just knew our Dr had run the baby back into the right place. ;)
At 8 weeks I felt alot of cramping and startedhaving alot of spoting. Again we were on the path to yet another failed pregnancy. We went to have an immediate US and soon discovered the baby was jumping about and thriving. After several more scares and my heart taking a funny turn. I reached my third trimester... By then my heart was always racing as if I was running a marathon and I had to have bed rest adn take a beta block to control the rythm of my heart.. but the baby was growing stronger. I knew I could hold on long enough for my little one to get strong enough to enter this world.
Finally my heart ws taking to much strain and my DR said I must deliver or face the chance of heart failure.
I went into a c-section on 28 June 2004 we were granted the joy of a beautiful baby girl. SHe was delivered none to early as my heart tried to give way as she was born. But we both made it and made it through well.
After careful consideration and alot of discussion with the Dr's we were told the heart issue was from the surgery adn so much strain and havng another baby would not be a health issue and in fact could be very straight forward. (though our chance of conception is very very low)
My husband and I decided to try for one last little one to join our family.
We discovered we were pg again in March 2006 and we were delighted as our little one was almost 2.
Our joy was short lived and April we went for the ussual US and they could not find baby's heartbeat. Once again we were on a losing battlefield. (so it seemed)
We have alot to be thankful for and we can't complain as we were gifted with a beautiful baby girl adn she has nothing wrong with her and is in fact quite a sturdy and healthy little lady.

We discovered we are pg again in November. We had the HCG levels taken and were told the levels were not rising and this was in fact another failed pregnancy. We then went for the confirmation scan on the 27th of November and were expecting the worst. They saw the heartbeat!!!! As of Monday the 4th of December we were 9 weeks gone. We are trying not to get to excited and we have our fingers crossed. We try to remember if this is meant to be.. then we shall be blessed yet again.

I am sorry for the length. Bless you if your still reading this. We have had a rocky road and hope the miracle of our "Victoria" helps another see there is hope.

:dothug:
Monica and family

sjadrsm January 16th, 2007 09:55 AM

1995 had my four month ultrasound and saw baby had stopped growing at two months, we were devistated, I had already bought things for the baby, We were newly married, we were soooo sad. I had to have a D&C the next day.
1997 Had a healthy baby Girl!!!
1998 Had a healthy baby boy!
2000 Found out I was preg with twins! But lost one of them early on, dr. called it the dissapearing twin,but went on to have a healthy baby girl(never told her and would love to hear opinions on that issue please.)
2001 Delivered a baby boy, He had congestive heart failure and 2 collasped lungs, Thankfully hospital had a great NICU they said expect to be here for a very long time. He came home at only 11 days old(to this day he says he was born dead and god healed him)
2002 Had a miscarrige, very rough, very sad.
2003 Had a healthy baby girl
2004 another healthy baby girl
2005 found out I was preg, we were so excited, told everyone, Dr. said my numbers were low and I started spotting, went to the ER because I felt real bad, Lots of shoulder pain and felt like passing out! My BP was only 80/44, They did an US and found no baby, I figured I miscarried, THEY SENT ME HOME!!!
Only to find out 3 days later my tube had ruptured, It was another mirical that I didnt die! I had emergncy surgery to remove my left tube, I was devistated!
Scared to death when I found out I was preg again, but here I am 2007 Holding a beautiful baby girl who is 6 weeks old, she has colic but I am thankful to be able to comfort her.
I still cry for the ones that I lost, no matter how you lose them or how many healthy children you have I never changes the fact that you have babies in heaven that you never got to be a mommy to and that never stops tugging at my heart.

DZErika January 26th, 2007 10:47 AM

Hi, I am now 22 years old and have a 2 month old son.
I had 2 miscarriages prior to Justice being born. I was in the JULY 2005 DDC, JULY 2006 DDC AND finally NOVEMBER 2006 DDC (when I had my son). The 1st mc happened at 14 weeks (which is kinda "late to mc) and the 2nd happened at 8 weeks. :closedeyes: After having 2 miscarriages my dr sent me to haev extensive blood work done, b/c a girl at my age and in perfect health shouldn't have had 2 mc in a row, one he could understand but after 2 he assumed there was a cause. I was diagnosed with MTHFR, which is a blood clotting disorder. Basically my blood kept clotting and cutting off nutrients and oxygen to the babies. I went to a specialist and they told me to take 1 baby aspirin (to thin my blood) and extra folic acid each day for the duration of pregnancy and prenatals, of course. I got the BFP 2 weeks after going to the specialist and started the baby aspirin immediately. 9 months later My son was born and it was the most amazing thing ever. Pregnancy after a loss or losses is SCARY, but keep praying and do what the dr tells you... :D If anyone ever wanted to talk or chat with someone who understands feel free to PM me.

chantellnp March 23rd, 2007 06:31 PM

When I was 17 I was pressured into an abortion by my mother at 9 or 10 weeks
At 20 I had a positive pg test then started af 2 days later.
Jan 2006 I had a positive pg and again another chemical
April 2006 I was again pg. I went in for an u/s at 7wks1day and saw the hb. I went in for another u/s at 12wks5days and the baby had died. I had a D&C the next day.
I really at that point started to believe that I had aborted the only child that I was supposed to have. It was really eating me up inside. DH and I decided to wait until summer 2007 to try again. I wasnt sure I could ever deal with another loss. The chemicals hadnt really affected me so much but after the last m/c I became convinced that I would just continue to m/c every pg.
We were charting to avoid pg and I usually ovulated on day 20. Well in Dec I ovulated on day 11 or 12. And guess what PG! Getting pg certainly isnt a problem. Well I'm 16wks3days today with a little girl who looks perfect so far. I've had some contractions and am on modified bedrest for a few more days. Keep your fingers crossed and the prayers coming for me and my little girl!

docsmomma April 11th, 2007 06:17 PM

I had my son on May 5, 2002, 7 weeks early but perfectly healthy. Just days before his 1st birthday I found out I was pg again. I was so excited and looking forward to another baby. Then the day after DS turned 1 I woke up bleeding. I rushed to the ER while my sons father took DS to my parents. After waiting in the ER for 4 hours, they finally took me back and confirmed what I already knew. My baby was gone. I was devastated.

It took a while for me to even consider another baby. I never handled loss well and I didn't want to hurt again. But I wanted another baby so bad. When DS was almost 3, I found out I was pregnant again. I was scared and excited. I tried to do everything perfect so that I wouldn't lose this baby or have another preterm baby. I knew I had been lucky with DS. We made it most of my pg with little stress but in late June 2005 I found out I was losing my grandma. My stress levels went sky high right away. In September she passed awy and I was still pg so I was trying to stay collected for my daughter. A few weeks later I had preterm labor. They stopped it and took me off work. Then at 36 weeks I started having regualr contractions but no progress. 2 weeks later I was sick and tired of regular contractions. I went back to L&D and still no progress, but they told me to walk and walk lots and things would start happening. I went home and called up a friend and me, DH, and our friend went to Downtown Disney. My mom took DS for the night because we were determined to go into ACTIVE labor that night. After 3 hours of walking we went back to the hospital. They had to CARRY me back to the car because I was hurting.

Sure enough, I was admitted and the next morning at 6:45 AM I had my little girl in my arms, perfect and healthy.

Tina K July 16th, 2007 02:49 PM

My name is Tina. At the age of 19, I suffered 4 losses consecutively. After my 4th loss, the doctor decided to refer me to a reproductive endocrinologist for testing. They discovered I had an auto immune issue called Anti Phospholipid antibody syndrome. A year passed, and I hadn't gotten pregnant, my husband left on deployment, and we waited. Finally after deciding to move on to adoption plans, my period was missing. Called my RE and asked for a pregnancy test. I was 6 weeks pregnant! With careful monitoring, and heparin therapy, I successfully delivered my baby boy (a month early, but mostly healthy!) on October 27, 2005. I am now 20 weeks pregnant with my second baby, and it looks like all is going well. I know it is so hard to hope and dream during pregnancy, and I still find myself having trouble thinking about the future with this baby, but know that it is possible to go on and have another baby!

SandyJ March 13th, 2008 01:12 PM

Hi all! I posted my loss story on this board near the beginning of my second pregnancy. I was scared about what my pregnancy would entail after losing my first child. You can read that whole story under the "Our Stories: Our Loss Stories" thread. To sum it up quickly, in late 2006 I had what to all appearances was a normal pregnancy. We went in to our 20 week u/s expecting to find out our baby's gender. Instead we were told our baby had developed Potter's, a deformity of the kidneys incompatible with life. At 25 weeks I was induced to give birth to my stillborn daughter.

So needless to say I was very anxious during my second pregnancy. Unfortunately Potter's cannot be diagnosed until 20 weeks. It is not a genetic condition, so there weren't any indicators as to whether we would have Potter's again, only probabilities which weren't very reassuring despite the low chance of a reoccurance. I found it very difficult to get excited about the pregnancy not knowing what was in store for me. I nearly worked myself into a panicked state leading up to my 20 week u/s.

I knew that I was looking for amniotic fluid during the u/s. One of the obvious first indicators of Potter's is lack of amniotic fluid. When the first image of my womb appeared on the monitors and I saw a large black blob of fluid, I burst into tears and started sobbing on my DH! I released a good 4 - 5 months of pent up anxiety and immense relief flooded through me! I couldn't speak and my DH had to explain to the poor u/s tech why I was crying, and that it was a good thing. Our little one was also cooperating so we got to find out the gender. A girl! I started crying again. It felt to me almost immediately as if the first girl that I lost was being given a chance to come back to us. I'm sure other folks deal in other ways with the notion of what becomes of their child's spirit after a loss, but I immediately felt that I had regained something that I had lost.

Despite the immense relief of that u/s, we still had a few more minor ups and downs ahead of us. I didn't gain any weight during my pregnancy despite being overweight to begin with. So there were fears that the baby was underweight as well, and a special u/s to determine that she was NOT underweight at all. Then we learned late in the pregnancy that she was breech. We tried a version and that failed. So at 38 weeks and 6 days I went in for a scheduled c-section and gave birth to my little miracle girl- Avalon Alexandra. :inlove: I was scared of the c-section but it ended up being the easiest experience ever.

Our little, precious baby girl is nearing 3 months old now and I am thankful for her every day. I still mourn the loss of my first child. If born on her EDD she would have been 1 year old tomorrow, which is what leads me back to this board, as I remember her. I hope to get pregnant again in the future, and I will probably be anxious again until I get past that dreaded 20 week u/s. But I will try again, knowing that the loss of one gives so much meaning and preciousness to the little miracles we do receive.


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