Losing my Grace and finding my Faith
So, not quite sure how I even feel about sharing this, but I really want to be able to chat with other mothers about my pregnancy and I don't feel I can do that without giving a little history first.
I gave birth to my first child, Grace Noelle Dedrick in December of 2010. She was my beautiful little blue-eyed angel from the start... a true mama's girl. :smile: I was only 18 at the time and probably not ready at the time for what motherhood would entail, but I most certainly loved her with everything in me and that's why I still am heartbroken to say that my daughter who would be almost be 3 years old today, is now my little angel in heaven.
On May 5, 2011, 2 days short of her being 5 months, God called her home. She died in her sleep and obviously it was the most horrifying day of my life to wake up that morning to find my baby had fallen asleep forever. It hasn't gotten better since that tragic day, but it has gotten easier to deal with.
Gracie's father and I went our separate ways about a year ago, and now I've come to found I'm expecting another little one in June with my current boyfriend. Quite a shock, yes, but also a blessing from God! I am excited, and yet also nervous, after what I have been through. I've had nightmares about it happening again, even though I truly believe it won't. I'm just ready to experience motherhood again, and all the joy that comes with it... and one day, when my baby is old enough, I want to tell my baby about their big sister Gracie, and how she changed Mama's life forever and made her a better person. Thank you for letting me share. It helps me a lot just to get it out sometimes.
Re: Losing my Grace and finding my Faith
Oh sweetie hugs. I'm just now seeing your story and it breaks my heart.
How are you doing/feeling? Hope things are still going well.
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