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-   -   New and somewhat hesitant (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/133584-new-and-somewhat-hesitant.html)

NWmomof4 January 14th, 2006 07:07 PM

Hi everyone,
I just discovered JM and have been lurking around the July DDC but not able to post because of my fear that I may not be able to share in their joy. Realizing that there is a PG after m/c group has allowed me to open up.
I m/c this past summer at 9 weeks. I thought getting pg again would help me overcome the grief. Instead my mind is playing games. The first few weeks I was just plain scared and wouldn't even let myself think about baby names or shop for cute little clothes. I am now beginning my 12th week and with my symptoms nearly subsided (except fatigue), I've almost convinced myself that it's not real.
Uggh! My dh thinks I'm crazy. I feel guilty that I can't relax and feel joyful. I have a doctor's appt. on Monday morning. I am praying that I will be able to hear a h/b.
Thanks for listening. It feels good to let this stuff out.
Michelle

Kaz January 15th, 2006 01:29 AM

I am new here too, but I totally understand. If I have any symptoms I feel very upbeat and excited. If I have a day where I feel more pre-pregnancy I start to get very nervous...always checking for blood, worrying that something is going wrong. After I saw the hb, I relaxed quite a bit.

I keep thinking that worry and stress do take their toll on our bodies, and may also affect our little ones...so I try to be possitive, although it is very dificult at times. But each landmark you pass will make you more confident.

Kaz

auntmeme January 15th, 2006 04:09 AM

Welcome to JM!!! Glad that you have found us. The ladies on this board are wonderful. Always there to give support, advice, etc.

What you are feeling is totally normal. I had a m/c in March 2005 at 11 weeks. I am now 6w4d pg, and am having the same feelings that you are. It is totally normal.

Amy

LeedaRenee January 15th, 2006 05:53 AM

Hi and welcome! I also have that "not quite real" feeling about this pregnancy. And dont worry, you're not the only one who's DH thinks she is crazy, hehe. Glad to have you aboard.

Rina42308 January 15th, 2006 03:57 PM

Hi honey...I am so sorry for your earlier loss...I know being pg after a m/c is very scary...I feel it too. I lost 3 babies last year and all I want more than anything is to bring this one home safe and sound. My b/f absolutely thinks I am the craziest woman alive. I tell him to come take a look on here to see in fact I am not alone..he won't because he likes to make fun of me I decided and seeing that my feelings are "normal" for someone in a posuition like yours or mine would take all his fun away...
Men ugh!
Anyway, know you're not alone and I feel what you do about the DDC...i've poste d alittle here and ther in mine but not much. I also sometimes think I'm not pg and this is all a mistake. Then i feel guilty for denying my baby. Other times my locve surges and then I get scared adn tell myself to stop feeling so much. It's just an emotional rollercoaster isn't it?

Babydoll January 15th, 2006 08:05 PM

Congratulations!! I am also in the July DDC and I had a MC this summer as well. I've had a really hard time getting too involved in the DDC as well, so I guess that's just normal. When my symptoms eased up at 8 weeks, I was convinced that it was all over again and totally mentally prepared myself for it, but then at the 10 week appointment I saw our little canoli dancing away, it was the most incredible thing! I'm sure your appointment will be great tomorrow. I have one too, so I'll be thinking of you! Please let us know how it goes!

Blessings B January 16th, 2006 04:34 AM

Welcome, this is such a wonderful and validating place to share. Look forward to getting to know you .. B

hopin4a4rth January 16th, 2006 05:31 AM

Welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

I, too, am in the July DDC & had two losses this past summer. One in May & one in August. I'm now 13 weeks & things are going well. I understand the fears tho... I drive my DH nuts w/ my fears & concerns.

Hope you have a great appt this morning!! :dothug:

iamkc January 16th, 2006 09:05 AM

Welcome and so glad you found this board!!! It's too bad that we let miscarriage take all the fun out of pregnancy (I include myself among the guilty.). In fact, I've all but ignored it at times. DH gets so excited about it and I can't seem to help bringing him back to the awful fact that we don't know that this one will make it. I'm a terrible person.

You've made it to the tail end of the critical period, though, so you know that your chances of miscarrying have dropped to almost nonexistent. Not that it can't still happen, but I'm sure that your docs, with your history, are monitoring you more closely. At least, I hope so. And I think that the other ladies are right--with each passing milestone, you'll hopefully become more excited and less tense. I'm not going to tell you to relax--I know better. :P But I DO hope that you soon get more enjoyment than apprehension from it soon!!!! :dothug:

NWmomof4 January 16th, 2006 01:19 PM

You ladies are awesome! I thought I felt good just letting out my feelings and then to realize that so many of you offered such wonderful insights and genuine understanding...THANK YOU!!!! :smile: I like this place!
Now on to my news...I had my first OB appt. today and was a little freaked out to find that I was just there to do the initial consultation stuff with a medical assistant. As she was handing my labwork papers to get blood drawn (not my favorite thing), I asked her if I could at least get a chance to hear the h/b. She said she couldn't because she was not an RN. Instantly I broke out into a full on waterfall of tears. Long story short, within ten minutes a dr. (not even mine) was giving me a quick look of the baby with an u/s. I even got to see its heart beating! :cheer:
I'm a few weeks farther along then I was this past summer. My understanding is that a chance of m/c is much smaller now. I hope I can begin to relax and enjoy. Mostly I want to start picking out baby names with my dh. :wub:

Rina42308 January 16th, 2006 01:26 PM

Quote:

You ladies are awesome! I thought I felt good just letting out my feelings and then to realize that so many of you offered such wonderful insights and genuine understanding...THANK YOU!!!! :smile: I like this place!
Now on to my news...I had my first OB appt. today and was a little freaked out to find that I was just there to do the initial consultation stuff with a medical assistant. As she was handing my labwork papers to get blood drawn (not my favorite thing), I asked her if I could at least get a chance to hear the h/b. She said she couldn't because she was not an RN. Instantly I broke out into a full on waterfall of tears. Long story short, within ten minutes a dr. (not even mine) was giving me a quick look of the baby with an u/s. I even got to see its heart beating! :cheer:
I'm a few weeks farther along then I was this past summer. My understanding is that a chance of m/c is much smaller now. I hope I can begin to relax and enjoy. Mostly I want to start picking out baby names with my dh. :wub:[/b]
Oh sweetie I am just estatic for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats! tears usually get the job done huh? :P I know the feeling, it's genuine, honest tears and I am so glad they reacted as they should to a mommy who needs some reassurance! Post often, i'd love to get to know you more.

iamkc January 16th, 2006 01:39 PM

Oh, HOORAY!!! I bet you were just flooded with relief and a different sort of tears after that, weren't you?!?!?! CONGRATULATIONS!!! You're having a great pregnancy!

And I agree with Norina--post more! We'd love to get to know you better!

Kaz January 16th, 2006 02:16 PM

So glad everything is going well. I have so far been very vocal with what I want from my dr's and it has paid off big time! If you never ask, you will never get!

So far I have had 3 u/s, number 4 is next monday with the high risk types. (They want to check out the spine since I have found out that the man I believe to be my birth father has Spina Bifida in his family.) I am so hoping it is the 4-d u/s since I know they do those down there....

I am going in tomorrow for labwork. They are even running the chickenpox test on me since I honestly do not know if I ever had it. I am just wondering how long it will take for the results to come back...

But yeah, if you want something done, kick, scream, demand and cry if you must! These are our little ones and we have a right to be sure they are o.k.!

Kaz


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