"If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma." - Theresa Bloomingdale
"If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family."
"My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash." -Joan Rivers
"A mother's children are portraits of herself." - Author unknow
"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on." - Carl Sandburg
"People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them". - Leo J. Burke
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." -- Phyllis Diller
"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." Joyce Armor
"First you have to teach a child to talk, then you have to teach it to be quiet." - Prochnow
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