JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/)
-   -   Scary & exciting (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/162549-scary-and-exciting.html)

babies March 5th, 2006 09:15 AM

The scary part is setting in...excitement is rising....I've bought a few outfits....

I know I said I would not buy anything until after the shower or until after 7 months....but I caved and now I can't stop browsing e-bay, I have gotten all new or new without tag stuff and STILL have not cracked $100 bucks yet...


135 diapers

Like 30 onesies so far

A Diaper Champ


Its exciting and scary at the same time....I want to be comfortable and happy and secure but you just never really know what can happen....I will try and be brave and follow my own advice and embrace today but I still have my worries that creep about....

soontobemommyto3 March 5th, 2006 09:24 AM

well, I had to return stuff last time. That was too painful to ever go through again, positive attitude or not. So I'm waiting until I'm like 37 weeks or so and buying 1 outfit to take baby home and some diapers. Fortunately having had 2 kids already in the past 4 years I have almost everything I need already. Then while I'm in the hospital, my husband can go buy some more sleepers and diapers at babys r us. Then once we are home I'll buy the rest of the stuff. I only need clothes a new swing and baby toys (hardly need those right away).

I'll probably have DH set up the bassinet around 38 weeks.

I know I am such a downer, but having had to return stuff and crying through it the whole time, I can't bring myself to do that again.

Boxerlove1 March 5th, 2006 10:31 AM

I agree with you.... there's no way in heck I'm buying ANYTHING until I'm like a week away from giving birth. No way at all.

babies March 5th, 2006 11:17 AM

Ha well this stuff I can't reuten, so if the unmentionable should occur I'd have to give it away or box it up somewhere....

I haven't had a baby in 7 years so I don't have ANYTHING, haha I mean I saved a few of DD's outfits that were near and dear to my heart but I definately can't get by with what I have from 7 years ago.

And it will be too cumbersome to have DF running around getting stuff TOO close to delivery....especially since delivery can happen anytime between now and July 2nd, so on some level we have to get some stuff sooner than later.

I will admit that it is scary...seeing stuff that will belong to her if she gets here okay, might be troubling and induce more nail biting moments than I will ever want, but buying stuff for the baby or not either way I will be a nervous wreck in these last 17 or so weeks...

Don't you wish it were an off button to some feelings, I sure do.

soontobemommyto3 March 5th, 2006 12:17 PM

a friend of mine who had a later loss had bought a double stroller because her kids were going to be close in age. she decided to return it because she wouldn't need it by the time she had a baby again. Well the store wouldn't take it back because it had been more than 30 days. She stood in the line crying explaining all the details of her loss until they took it back.

You'd think all you'd have to say is I lost my baby and everyone would take your stuff back :rolleyes:

beck12 March 5th, 2006 01:05 PM

I think having to return is awful. I bought a few things each time, because I wanted to be able to tell the child how excited I was that I couldn't wait. I bought snowsuits for the 1st. They were on clearance & I was due in November - so I bought pink & blue (I didn't even know at the time it was twins yet) - because I thought it was a great price... I still have them. I had thought a million times of giving them to the baby pantry, but I couldn't. If I can carry full tern this time, I should be due incredibly clost to the same time - so I will most likely use at least one of them. I felt mised emotions about it for a long tiem, but I feel ok about it now. I think that returning stuff has got to be incredibly hard - maybe that's why it didn't even occur to me that any of it could be returned. :confused:

Ethans_Mommy March 5th, 2006 02:15 PM

I didnt buy anything before I miscarried because we were in the process of moving out of state and it wouldve been more crap to lug around. I told myself I would buy it all later. But I dont think I wouldve taken anything back even if I did buy stuff. First of all, it would be too painful and secondly I am still young enough to keep trying for more even if this doesnt turn out. I am hopeful that I will get to use it all someday! With that said, this time around, I find myself "browsing" all the time! I found the stroller I want, I am just waiting to see if it goes on sale since I wont need it til August. I also bought a cute diaper bag because it was on clearnace at Target for $3. I am actually tempted to start using it now as a purse because it is so cute!!!

babies March 5th, 2006 02:47 PM

oh gosh! the diaper bag...with DD I had a tiny one and had to upgrade to a midsized one.

I am looking for one now but will most likely save that for last or let that be one of the lst things I get.

The big stuff will be purchased later (pack & play/crib) don't have room for it right now

after today I told my self no more baby stuff until after my shower...it's hard to stop once you start though :cheer:

Just have to hope for the best....I can't be morbid for the next 17 weeks, 1. I don't want to look back and not have any happy & giddy moments 2. It isn't healthy...if I lose the baby in any way at any stage I will cry, be pissed off to a whole new undiscovered level of pissitivity, see a whole new depth od depression and be a wreck for who knows how long...that being a given, I refuse to allow fear to have a dominating effect on how I view this new babies existence and my pregnancy...

It is a tough battle but I try with all I have each day to be thankful for today, and today my baby is alive and kicking up a storm and her mommy was happy and excited and brave enough to buy her something!

Now I have to be strong enough to keep the purse closed and make sure things are budgeted correctly!!

soontobemommyto3 March 5th, 2006 05:22 PM

I had just bought Cassies wardrob, about $350 worth of gymboree clothes. There was no way I wasn't going to return those, plus they were bought specifically for her and I would have no guarntees of having another girl - with my luck I would have boy :P Anyhow everytime I looked at them I would have been reminded of Cassie and how I lovingly picked each outfit out for her. So that is why I returned them. I kept my favorite for her memory box and still look at it.

If I had bought furniture and stuff, I'd probably have kept it because it wouldn't be gender specific. But the clothes, nope they had to go back.

beck12 March 5th, 2006 05:42 PM

Quote:

I had just bought Cassies wardrob, about $350 worth of gymboree clothes. There was no way I wasn't going to return those, plus they were bought specifically for her and I would have no guarntees of having another girl - with my luck I would have boy :P Anyhow everytime I looked at them I would have been reminded of Cassie and how I lovingly picked each outfit out for her. So that is why I returned them. I kept my favorite for her memory box and still look at it.

If I had bought furniture and stuff, I'd probably have kept it because it wouldn't be gender specific. But the clothes, nope they had to go back.[/b]
I am so very very sorry you had to deal with that. I wish at the very least that someone close to you had handled that for you. ((((hugs)))) It really does make me sad to think you of having to do that.

LeedaRenee March 5th, 2006 06:51 PM

I will probably start buying a few things when I find out the sex. I am just a person who likes things planned out, and I dont want to stress out later. I've thought about not buying things and waiting til I was almost ready to deliver, but the planner in me wont allow that. We are already getting the baby's room ready, as well as some other things that we have to do to the house. It's more for financial reasons than being excited. I hope nothing happens, but if it does, I know it will be devestating to see all that baby stuff. I just can't be afraid all the time. I do feel awful for those of you who had to return items. I didn't buy anything last time, so didn't have to go through that problem.

SpugsLady March 6th, 2006 02:13 AM

i'm always afraid i'll do little things like this and jinx it, but most people start buying after 1st scan, i sont think you have anything to worry about although the worry will still always be there!

anissa March 6th, 2006 06:33 AM

I felt that way at first. I could not bring myself to buy anything. I had bought so much for my little Emma and then lost her at 22 weeks. But I finally came to terms that I really need to enjoy being pregnant. No matter the out come this might be my last. So I have bought a few new outfits for the little guy.

Kaz March 7th, 2006 01:30 PM

I am kinda the same way. With my first loss the baby's father was not really involved at all and I had gone out and bought all kinds of things for her. The only thing that I kept was a christening gown. A few of my friends came by and offered to help, so after a lot of hugs and crying two of us went to lunch while the other 3 stayed and gathered up her things to return and donate. Then one of the girls offered to stay the night with me, so I wouldn't dwell on the empty room. I actually had to move out within a month, I couldn't bear to walk past AJ's room and not cry. I have only bought a few little clothing items so far, but I have been picking things out on my registries. Seems easier to deal with for me right now. One day at a time....

soontobemommyto3 March 7th, 2006 03:25 PM

Quote:

Quote:

I had just bought Cassies wardrob, about $350 worth of gymboree clothes. There was no way I wasn't going to return those, plus they were bought specifically for her and I would have no guarntees of having another girl - with my luck I would have boy :P Anyhow everytime I looked at them I would have been reminded of Cassie and how I lovingly picked each outfit out for her. So that is why I returned them. I kept my favorite for her memory box and still look at it.

If I had bought furniture and stuff, I'd probably have kept it because it wouldn't be gender specific. But the clothes, nope they had to go back.[/b]
I am so very very sorry you had to deal with that. I wish at the very least that someone close to you had handled that for you. ((((hugs)))) It really does make me sad to think you of having to do that.
[/b]
I actually wouldn't let anyone else do it. It was part of my grieving process I guess.

pcgirl March 9th, 2006 01:19 PM

I've been leary about buy anything for the baby but my dh can't seem to help himself. Every time I turn around he's purchasing something new.

I didn't buy anything for my previous pregnancies but this time we have a bunch of things. I'm not sure how I would handle it if I lost the baby now....I guess with a lot of tears and support.

Reading your conversation made me sad and I'm so sorry that you guys had to go through it all. I was devastated with my miscarriages.....I sometimes believe that I would just lay down and die if something were to happen to my little angel now. Every day I pray for a healthy child and delivery....every day I thank God for the gift growing inside me.

My dd is also pregnant....if something were to happen to my sweetie....then I know that my grandchild can use them as well...that is, IF I can handle it.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:54 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.