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-   -   Not trying to stir up a religious debate..... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2405426-not-trying-to-stir-up-religious-debate.html)

missy123 August 31st, 2011 10:31 AM

Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
My poor DH... He really wants Scarlett to be baptized Catholic. It is so important to him and his brother for many personal reasons. I was baptized Catholic but am divorced so he is having a hard time finding a church to baptize her. As his brother is a redound theologian and scholar by trade they are trying to find a way around this.

It makes me sad that he is having to go through all of this just to have her baptized Catholic. I know that god loves us and would not ever turn Scarlett away from him just because I am divorced. :(

On a cool side note: My mom kept my baptism outfit from when I was a newborn. As this is my first girl, she sent it to me last week for her to wear. I think that is pretty awesome!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/missy/Baptize1.jpg

http://cimg2.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.just...9d4a943ef1.jpg

geogeek August 31st, 2011 10:42 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I don't understand why the church wouldn't let you baptize her. I really hope that you can find a way around this.

BTW, my mom kept my blessing dress (in my church babies are blessed not baptized) and she passed it down to me a few weeks ago. It is wonderful that Moms would do that for us!

luvmykids623 August 31st, 2011 10:43 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
The Catholic church's view on this (and many other things) is a sore spot for me. I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. I was baptized and raised Catholic. My mom was married at 19 and divorced by 20 so the church has given her a hard time with lots of things. They've told her more times than I care to count, since the 80's, they'll annul her marriage for x amount of dollars even though there are no real grounds for annulment. They are just interested in the money. I don't think they gave her any problems getting us baptized though. I know the priest at the church I belong to gave me trouble baptizing DS. I've kind of pulled away from the Catholic church because of the whole sex abuse scandal. I find their handling of it reprehensible, and am thinking about switching religions. It's hard though, because I worry about what my grandmother (who's been dead sine 1993) would think. Anyway, when DS was baptized the priest said, "Oh you don't attend very often. I really shouldn't do this. But as long as you're not Jehovah's Witness I will." Ummm really?!? I hope you're able to find someone that will baptize her. It shouldn't matter that you're divorced (at least in my mind). Baptism isn't about the parents, it's about the babies.

momof8lopez August 31st, 2011 11:41 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Hmmm, this is something I have not heard of either. All of my kids were baptised catholic, but then again they were born into my first marriage. I have not had Mia baptised yet, and just assumed catholic would be my choice again. I will look into my church requirements and take it from there. Im not catholic, so since they still allowed me to baptise my children catholic, I would think my second marriage should not be a problem, but who knows now! Jerry is catholic and so was my ex, maybe thats why?

If this means so much to Mike, just let him figure it out.....Im sure all will end well and your little girl will get her day in church like everyone else!

missy123 August 31st, 2011 12:33 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
He is working on it... mostly grumbling cursings and something about rules and organized religion. :grin:

momof8lopez August 31st, 2011 12:42 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123 (Post 24741962)
He is working on it... mostly grumbling cursings and something about rules and organized religion. :grin:

LOL, if it comes down to all that when I look into Mia's baptism....I will just baptise her Baptist, its my religion of choice anyway. But since all my kids are catholic and I do believe in the catholic religion myself, I would prefer this. But Im not about to dish out a couple of grand like my brother did just to get my first marriage removed from their books. How obserd! I paid my attorney enough money, lol.....(still paying actually, 3.5yrs later!)

JessP August 31st, 2011 01:00 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
That is just silly :(. I just don't understand Catholic religion very well to be honest. I would think that Mike could have her baptized no problem if he is Catholic regardless of what happened with you. I hope he gets something worked out, sounds like its very important for you guys.

On a good note that is very sweet of your mom and very pretty :).

Jessica121706 August 31st, 2011 01:13 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Catholic rules are silly if you ask me. I hope he can work it out.


How have you and your mom been? I know awhile back you had shut her off, was this a surprise in the mail or did you expect it

Cheshire August 31st, 2011 01:31 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I was baptized Catholic and things like that are why DH and I decided to move to Methodist. DH has been divorced, my parents weren't very religious, it's just a better fit for us. I'm sorry you're having to jump through hoops :(

That's so great that you can baptize Scarlett in your own outfit!!!

babyandbriana August 31st, 2011 01:46 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I LOVE your baptism dress!!!

In my family we have an heirloom Christening gown that's made out of extra material from my mom's wedding gown. I'd originally planned on using that... but I may cut up my wedding gown and use it instead... I want SOMETHING good to come out of that dress ;)

I actually belong to the same church as Rachel, and in our faith, babies are given a special blessing instead of a baptism. Baptism in our faith is a choice that you make when you're older. :)

Honestly, I grew up in a VERY Catholic small town. Well, it was 48% Catholic, 48% Lutheran and 4% other... I was an "other". :) There are some things that the Catholic church does that I don't agree with. Other things make sense... but some things are difficult. I think if you can find a more progressive priest (they DO exist) you have a better chance of having her baptized in the church, if that's what your husband wants to do.

Good luck, no matter what!

.:Shortcake:. August 31st, 2011 02:14 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Missy I hope it all gets worked out! In the end as long as your all healthy and happy that's all that matters.

TnPhotoMama81 August 31st, 2011 02:59 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
That is so cute she will be baptized in your outfit :)

BeccaBee August 31st, 2011 05:15 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
LOVE the outfit, and it's so special that she will be Baptized in your outfit.

As for the Catholic rules, I don't know much to add, but i do think it should be all about the baby and not what his/her parents have done. (not that there is anything wrong with divorce).

KaiyaRae'sMomma August 31st, 2011 05:23 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I was baptized and raised Catholic, but I didn't really attend much after HS. DH and I started attending church together when we were dating, at the Lutheran Church his family had been going to since he was a kid. We were married int he Lutheran church, and we now attend regularly and are very active in our church here in OH (also Lutheran). Kaiya was baptized and burried at our church. We call Lutheran "Catholic Light" because it is so much like being Catholic but with out the silly rules!

Brittanie August 31st, 2011 06:28 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I am so sorry that you're having such a rough time with this. It seems so unfair.

I'm in the same church as Rachel and Bri. My mother actually saved my blessing dress. It was made from the lace of the table cloths from her wedding reception, which she still had. Unfortunately the lace has yellowed badly and really unevenly so I wasn't able to use it.

Erin's dress was made from the extra fabric from my wedding dress and my actual veil, and my mom crocheted one from Allison. I fully plan on keeping them for them to use for their daughters when the time comes. It's such a beautiful idea.

onedaysoon September 1st, 2011 04:20 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Love the dress Missy! I love traditions like that. Mine was one that has been used in my Mom's humongous family...so no one is even sure where it is anymore.

As for the baptism deal, there really shouldn't be a problem. I'm Catholic and DH is not (we married in a Catholic church). I've known children to be baptised Catholic who didn't have a father (unknown), who had divorced parents and parent's unwed. Sometimes it just depends on the priest that the heads the church you're talking to. And Danica has a non-Catholic godmother.

Good luck!

LindseyE117 September 1st, 2011 10:02 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Well this may sound weird, but I am actually Mormon and I habe been since the age of 11, but my dad and his wife are Catholic and my mom is Prodestant. With my first marriage (he was Catholic too) we baptized both kids Catholic even though I was not Catholic. I just had to attend a class and what not and then we blessed them in the Prodestant church. That way all of our families would leave us alone.

In our church though we do not believe in Baptism until the age of 8 (long reason why, no point in going into it) and my son was baptized into my faith at the age of 8, and my daughter just turned 8 so she will be getting baptized soon. Our church has no reasoning not to baptize someone unless they do not believe in Jesus or in our religion.

I just cannot understand why they would risk someone's salvation over money. How sad. I hope it all works out for you Missy. Beautiful dress btw.

hearts.0nfire September 1st, 2011 12:38 PM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I'm sorry they are giving you problems with it Missy. I'm worried about getting that done too. I'm Catholic but my husband isn't and I haven't gotten to go to church since having Darcy. I was hoping to do it this winter with both girls so we get it all done at once. I'll have to try and go up there this weekend to find out the rules. I hope it works out for you and also I love the dress!

PameŁa September 2nd, 2011 02:37 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by missy123 (Post 24740912)
My poor DH... He really wants Scarlett to be baptized Catholic. It is so important to him and his brother for many personal reasons. I was baptized Catholic but am divorced so he is having a hard time finding a church to baptize her. As his brother is a redound theologian and scholar by trade they are trying to find a way around this.

It makes me sad that he is having to go through all of this just to have her baptized Catholic. I know that god loves us and would not ever turn Scarlett away from him just because I am divorced. :(

On a cool side note: My mom kept my baptism outfit from when I was a newborn. As this is my first girl, she sent it to me last week for her to wear. I think that is pretty awesome!

http://www.wtv-zone.com/missy/Baptize1.jpg

http://www.wtv-zone.com/missy/baptize2.jpg

The highlighted words just really stand out to me. I find it so harsh that God loves you and forgives you, yet your catholic faith will not forgive and not only is punishing you, but now is punishing your baby! What kind of church does that? I wonder what God really thinks of the catholic faith.

You shouldnt have to find a way around the Catholics rules just for your baby. I won't go into my sins but I'm sure I would have been banished from a catholic church but my church has accepted me without judgement and they are like family. I don't have to tell a preist my sins but rather go straight to God for prayer and forgiveness. No disrespect because religion is a personal choice but I find it upsetting to deny an innocent baby what God would give her if He were here in person.

I hope things work out for you hun

StaceygirlPa September 2nd, 2011 04:44 AM

Re: Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....
 
I love the dress. I am sorry you and Mike are having such hard time getting her baptized Catholic.


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