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-   -   My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2517095-my-second-to-last-appointment-frustrated-tad-bit-venty-xposted.html)

TnPhotoMama81 April 20th, 2012 12:39 PM

My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Well my cervix still isn't doing anything (surprise surprise) so looks like I am headed straight for super happy fun time c-section land. LOL but sooooo not lol.http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...milies/dry.gif

I don't understand why my body won't cooperate...I feel like I have tried everything under the sun to have a different experience than I did with Ethan. I am not looking forward to being cut open and not being able to do anything for myself again...and most likely have breastfeeding complications like last time as well.

Anyway...I have another appointment on Monday (the day before I am 41 weeks) to see where my cervix is at. At this point though I am only a fingertip dilated (been that way for weeks now) and I have to be atleast a centimeter or so for them to induce me via a foley bulb. I think I was between 1-2 cm when they used it on me with our son. There just isn't a lot of options when it comes to inducing a vbac patient - which I totally understand.

So the plan is to see where I am at, hopefully be able to do a foley bulb at the very least. If I am not dilated anymore though I will probably go ahead and opt for the c-section Tuesday morning. That way I have a full 24 hours to be off the blood thinning injections that I have to do.

I would much rather opt for a csection right off than have to do one after laboring for x amount of hours. I was so exhausted after my csection with our son...I don't really even remember that first night with him because I was so out of it.

Ultimately, I am hoping I go into labor on my own over the weekend I just don't see much hope for that happening. I plan on sitting on my birth ball all weekend though so MAYBE.

One positive from my appointment is that I was having mini contractions on the nst which I have never seen before. From what the doctor said though it sounded like they only looked like BH but at least now I know exactly what a BH contraction feels like.

I feel very fortunate to have made it this far since having two losses and am so thankful to have a doctor that has tried to do what she can to help us. It is just frustrating to not get the birth experience that I want and having slim options as well. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't also hard to not be somewhat jealous of those who are getting their VBAC's or vaginal births in general. I hate to even admit that because I am definitely happy for those who don't have to experience a surgery. It just makes me feel "broken"...especially when I have been working still, out in the yard doing work, painting the house, etc hoping it would help!

So yeah...that is my update. She should be here Tuesday at the latest which definitely is exciting but I hope and pray I get to enjoy it this time regardless of how she gets here http://images.ibsrv.net/ibsrv/res/sr...ies/smiles.gif

Thanks for listening! I promise I am not trying to be a debbie downer...and I really hate complaining...just feeling frustrated with it all right now.

*SamF* April 20th, 2012 12:46 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I'm sorry things aren't progressing! Hopefully this weekend your body will kick into gear.

mom2moose April 20th, 2012 12:46 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I think every woman wants that dream labor. I don't blame you for being disapoointed. (Eat as much pineapple as you can this weekend!) It's exciting she's coming, and I hope you go into labor on your own, but if you don't, good luck!!

Pitridge April 20th, 2012 01:12 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I hope you go into labor on your own, have you try running?, sex? Castro Oil? I understand what you are saying. I want a normal birth more than anything in the world and I know I will be very dissapointed if I can't do a VBAC.

melissalaw April 20th, 2012 01:32 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I'll be praying that you go into labor this weekend.

TnPhotoMama81 April 20th, 2012 01:55 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitridge (Post 25924389)
I hope you go into labor on your own, have you try running?, sex? Castro Oil? I understand what you are saying. I want a normal birth more than anything in the world and I know I will be very dissapointed if I can't do a VBAC.

Well running is something I just don't do LOL. I would probably really injure myself especially being at the weight I am at. Castor Oil I don't feel comfortable doing since it can make the baby have a bowel movement and not do anything but give mom the poops. I asked our doctors last time about it and they advised against it for those reasons. Apparently one of their other patients did it and he said it was a proverbial poo storm up in the hospital haha.

However sex yes...EPO yes...Red Raspberry Leaf Tea yes...birth ball yes...Walking yes...accupressure yes....pumping/nipple stimulation...yes. I am sure there's other stuff I am missing lol. I've tried making italian meals with extra basil and oregano.

I ate a fresh pineapple every day when I was pregnant with our son and it never did anything either ;/

I think our babies are just stubborn :)

Pitridge April 20th, 2012 02:06 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TnPhotoMama81 (Post 25924595)
Well running is something I just don't do LOL. I would probably really injure myself especially being at the weight I am at. Castor Oil I don't feel comfortable doing since it can make the baby have a bowel movement and not do anything but give mom the poops.

:rofl::rofl:

I wouldn't run either, never did and other than there is someone trying to kill me, forget it :D
The oil, not sure I would want to do it either, I heard it doesn't take good.
I'm sorry it was the only suggestions I could think at the time:mellow:

TnPhotoMama81 April 20th, 2012 04:11 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pitridge (Post 25924651)
:rofl::rofl:

I wouldn't run either, never did and other than there is someone trying to kill me, forget it :D
The oil, not sure I would want to do it either, I heard it doesn't take good.
I'm sorry it was the only suggestions I could think at the time:mellow:

haha! It's ok :) There's so many different things that are supposed to help bring on labor...who knows if any of them REALLY work or if it is just coincidence sometimes hahaha.

lindsey2000k April 20th, 2012 05:07 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Sex... sperm is supposed to be a natural thing that gets your cervix soft.
Nipple stimulation? maybe try a breast pump on the lowest setting a couple times this weekend if you have one?
Walking.

I would not do castor oil

Good luck and maybe you are just one of those people that goes from 1cm to 10 really fast and you never gave your body enough time with your son?


Are you on Hepron now? I get to swap over to it this weekend.... not looking forward to 2 shots a day now.

missy123 April 20th, 2012 05:18 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I know you are so happy to be having your baby and towards the end pregnancy is full of frustrations, being uncomfortable, just wanting it to be over and holding our babies!!


I hope your body goes into labor for you Melissa!!

3Sapphires April 20th, 2012 05:56 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Just letting you know I am praying for you!!

SkyBaby April 20th, 2012 06:20 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Your experience with your first was my experience with my daughter. Labored for 43 hours, pushed for 3, (grand total of 46 hours) and csection. I was exhausted and felt a little bit "broken" as well. I even had nursing issues with her. She refused to latch and vastly preferred the bottle. :( When she was 20 days old, she latched and slowly became exclusively nursed until just recently when we introduced solids.

My mom had a csection with me and my two siblings. She's built tiny and has a tiny pelvis and I was 9 pounds 3 ounces. Lily was 9 pounds 2 ounces trying to come out sunny side up and with the side of her head, making her neck all crooked. I really was betting my bottom dollar my experience would be different from hers, and I would get my textbook vaginal birth. I nearly did. I dilated all the way and even went into labor on my own. My mom never got past 2 cm before being induced for 12 hours with nothing happening and she was even having hard regular contractions before she was induced. I was 3 weeks late.

I'm bigger boned than my mom, but still have her small little pelvic opening. My dr says I can only do a vbac next if I go into labor before the baby gets past 8-9 pounds. I'm kinda dreading having another one. I'm very afraid of surgery, to the point of calling it a phobia. That really freaks me out. If it's the only way I can have kids, then that's just how it's gonna be, but I was so freaked out I didn't really even remember if I was happy when I saw her. My husband assures me I was, but I don't know if he's just saying that for my own sanity or what.. honestly I'm a little afraid of the answer.

I really hope you can have a better experience with this baby!! You deserve your vbac. It is nice to know we're not alone and there are lots of other moms who feel the same way.

TnPhotoMama81 April 20th, 2012 09:53 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k (Post 25925260)
Sex... sperm is supposed to be a natural thing that gets your cervix soft.
Nipple stimulation? maybe try a breast pump on the lowest setting a couple times this weekend if you have one?
Walking.

I would not do castor oil

Good luck and maybe you are just one of those people that goes from 1cm to 10 really fast and you never gave your body enough time with your son?


Are you on Hepron now? I get to swap over to it this weekend.... not looking forward to 2 shots a day now.

I have tried my breast pump...I just have a manual one though ;/ it doesn't bring on contractions at all...just makes my nipples really sore haha! I might try it again tomorrow though :)

My cervix softness wise is very favorable. It has been VERY SOFT since 37 weeks according to my doctor and thinned out pretty good too. I think its just the dilating we are worried about.

I was in labor 26ish hours or so with our son and got to a 6-7 cm but wouldn't dilate any more past that. I think if I could have just asked to maybe walk after they did the foley bulb, I could have maybe dilated better than I did...but of course they started pit then soon after I was asking for the epidural bc I couldn't handle the pitocin contractions :(

I am on heparin now. The heparin didn't burn for me like the lovenox does HOWEVER my stomach is much more sore in the areas where I am doing my injections. I think after she is here I will be going back on lovenox for 6ish weeks?

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyBaby (Post 25925508)
Your experience with your first was my experience with my daughter. Labored for 43 hours, pushed for 3, (grand total of 46 hours) and csection. I was exhausted and felt a little bit "broken" as well. I even had nursing issues with her. She refused to latch and vastly preferred the bottle. :( When she was 20 days old, she latched and slowly became exclusively nursed until just recently when we introduced solids.

My mom had a csection with me and my two siblings. She's built tiny and has a tiny pelvis and I was 9 pounds 3 ounces. Lily was 9 pounds 2 ounces trying to come out sunny side up and with the side of her head, making her neck all crooked. I really was betting my bottom dollar my experience would be different from hers, and I would get my textbook vaginal birth. I nearly did. I dilated all the way and even went into labor on my own. My mom never got past 2 cm before being induced for 12 hours with nothing happening and she was even having hard regular contractions before she was induced. I was 3 weeks late.

I'm bigger boned than my mom, but still have her small little pelvic opening. My dr says I can only do a vbac next if I go into labor before the baby gets past 8-9 pounds. I'm kinda dreading having another one. I'm very afraid of surgery, to the point of calling it a phobia. That really freaks me out. If it's the only way I can have kids, then that's just how it's gonna be, but I was so freaked out I didn't really even remember if I was happy when I saw her. My husband assures me I was, but I don't know if he's just saying that for my own sanity or what.. honestly I'm a little afraid of the answer.

I really hope you can have a better experience with this baby!! You deserve your vbac. It is nice to know we're not alone and there are lots of other moms who feel the same way.

I am sorry you have had a similar situation with csections but it is nice to know I am not alone in my experience/feelings.

I can't imagine laboring for almost 2 days and pushing for 3 hrs only to end up in csection. My doctor said they had a patient that dilated all the way to a 10 and then no matter how hard or how long she pushed for her uterus just wasn't allowing it to happen and ended up with a csection anyway. I would feel SO sad and defeated if that happened to me...

With our son, it took me two months to feel bonded to him. I think just with everything we went through had a lot to do with it. That and we were both very stressed out because we were having to move from our apartment within a few days after coming home from the hospital. It was an all around awful experience. My poor husband threw his back out from helping me up and down out of the bed...then the second night in the hospital when I went to shower, I passed out and he tried to catch me (and im not a small girl). That was pretty scary because I thought for sure I had busted open my incision with how hard I fell.

When we got home with our son we literally spent maybe 15 minutes in the house. He ended up in the floor because his back went out on him. We had just come home with food from Sonic...we were both starving and at this point our son is screaming because HE's hungry too. I had to throw my husband his hamburger cause I was on the couch with our son and couldn't stand up without help lol...he ate his burger while laying on the floor while we waited for his friend to come over and help him up. His friend ended up having to drive us to my husbands grandparents house so they could help take care of both of us! lol...like part of it was pretty funny because at that point we were both feeling like "what else is going to go wrong now??" but yeah...just an all around awful experience.

I have faith that if we have a csection it shouldn't be AS BAD this time, but it still brings back all those emotions I went through before. I hope it's a better experience if it does have to go that way. I really hope I feel bonded faster this time. I want that "instant" bonding experience. I felt so awful for not feeling that way with our son...even though I know it can be normal....it just doesn't seem "right".

~Tanya~ April 21st, 2012 04:35 AM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I'll be praying you go into labor this weekend!

ashj_1218 April 21st, 2012 05:05 AM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
You DO NOT sound like you are a debbie downer or complaining. Any person in their right mind would be frustrated with the situation and needing some words of encouragement at this stage. I am seriously in awe of women who make it to and beyond 40-weeks. With the current situation of "eviction dates," I am so glad to see women who refuse their doctors advice to just "take the baby out." So, please don't feel like we would judge you on this particular thing.

It has to be so frustrating to "will" your body to do something and have it still not cooperate. Especially since you are doing everything in your power to make something happen.

FWIW: I have two comments on other comments above. The first is that it is entirely possible to have NOTHING going on down there and then, BAM, labor starts. With Liam I went to the hospital for what they called prodromal labor (unproductive labor) on Sunday night-early Monday morning. I was "not even a fingertip" dilated, not soft, not effaced, baby was high. I returned to the hospital on Tuesday afternoon at 8cm dilated, bulging waters. So it is entirely possible for your body to be one that just waits until the last minute to get moving. I think mine is because I know I was not doing anything with Kieran until my water just broke. A sono two days before had him breech and my cervix still high. So you just never know :)

Also, even though it might seem like your bonding issues with your son were related to the c-section...that can be a first-child thing as well. I had a beautiful natural birth (sorry, I don't want that to make you upset) with Liam and I STILL did not feel bonded with him for months. So with your second, even if she comes by the c-section you want to avoid, you might feel entirely different. I know with Kieran I did...it was instant. I found a lot of things were different with my second child than my first. Which was good, because I had a hard time adjusting to Liam and was afraid that I would struggle again with my second.

I do understand your fears of a c-section though. I had them for two days (such a short time in comparison to yours) when Kieran was breech and I felt so helpless to make him turn to avoid a section. So I am so sorry you are having to feel this helpless and frustrated.

I will be sending labor vibes your way this weekend. And :hug: as well :)

silverlife April 21st, 2012 06:16 AM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Will your doctor do a membrane sweep? Some won't unless there is some progress but mine says she's able to even if you aren't 2cm+.

Don't count out going into labor before your next appointment. With my son I was 1cm when my water broke. With my daughter I had an appointment that morning and was 1cm and labor started that evening. I know that, for me and most women, the state of my cervix says nothing about when labor will start.

TnPhotoMama81 April 21st, 2012 02:16 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ashj_1218 (Post 25926414)
You DO NOT sound like you are a debbie downer or complaining. Any person in their right mind would be frustrated with the situation and needing some words of encouragement at this stage. I am seriously in awe of women who make it to and beyond 40-weeks. With the current situation of "eviction dates," I am so glad to see women who refuse their doctors advice to just "take the baby out." So, please don't feel like we would judge you on this particular thing.

It has to be so frustrating to "will" your body to do something and have it still not cooperate. Especially since you are doing everything in your power to make something happen.

FWIW: I have two comments on other comments above. The first is that it is entirely possible to have NOTHING going on down there and then, BAM, labor starts. With Liam I went to the hospital for what they called prodromal labor (unproductive labor) on Sunday night-early Monday morning. I was "not even a fingertip" dilated, not soft, not effaced, baby was high. I returned to the hospital on Tuesday afternoon at 8cm dilated, bulging waters. So it is entirely possible for your body to be one that just waits until the last minute to get moving. I think mine is because I know I was not doing anything with Kieran until my water just broke. A sono two days before had him breech and my cervix still high. So you just never know :)

Also, even though it might seem like your bonding issues with your son were related to the c-section...that can be a first-child thing as well. I had a beautiful natural birth (sorry, I don't want that to make you upset) with Liam and I STILL did not feel bonded with him for months. So with your second, even if she comes by the c-section you want to avoid, you might feel entirely different. I know with Kieran I did...it was instant. I found a lot of things were different with my second child than my first. Which was good, because I had a hard time adjusting to Liam and was afraid that I would struggle again with my second.

I do understand your fears of a c-section though. I had them for two days (such a short time in comparison to yours) when Kieran was breech and I felt so helpless to make him turn to avoid a section. So I am so sorry you are having to feel this helpless and frustrated.

I will be sending labor vibes your way this weekend. And :hug: as well :)

Thanks for all of the kind words and taking the time to respond :hug:. I have wondered if my bonding issues were a first time mom thing as well. It could have been a lot of different reasons and I guess I will never really know. With our son it was so weird because I felt like I didn't know how to act around him too...which might sound pretty dumb lol...but I had never really been around children before or held a baby. I was kinda like uhhhh ok what now haha.

That is really neat he turned for you so "last minute". I feel like most of the time doctors really just do not give moms and babies enough time to let nature just HAPPEN on its own. It is really sad.

I definitely think that things can turn around quickily...it is just so hard to keep holding onto that hope in the end. I am still trying to remain positive something will happen for us by Monday.

Quote:

Originally Posted by silverlife (Post 25926545)
Will your doctor do a membrane sweep? Some won't unless there is some progress but mine says she's able to even if you aren't 2cm+.

Don't count out going into labor before your next appointment. With my son I was 1cm when my water broke. With my daughter I had an appointment that morning and was 1cm and labor started that evening. I know that, for me and most women, the state of my cervix says nothing about when labor will start.

They have swept my membranes the last few weeks but it hasn't done anything....no spotting even! I think with our son they didn't break my water until I was 6 cm or so. It never broke on its own.

.:Shortcake:. April 21st, 2012 05:00 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I hope she decides to come on her own and if not that it's a super easy C-section and a fast recovery! :hug:

dreamer10 April 21st, 2012 05:56 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
I wouldn't do castor oil either. I have a good friend who is an L&D nurse and the diahhrea that comes from castor is horrendous! Don't go that way. If your body doesn't labor on its own naturally, then it might be trying to tell you something. I think if you go in monday and things are the same and you have to plan a c section tuesday at least you can go in rested and ready to go...and in that way it will be a much better experience than having to labor forever and ending up exhausted from all of that..and then have surgery....right?

I will say though...that you have done an awesome job getting to this point and the way the baby gets here is second to the fact that you will have your rainbow baby in your arms soon...right?

And as to the nursing....my sister in law had a horrible experience trying to nurse her baby, then with the second baby he just latched right on and did awesome! so don't count yourself out just yet! Keep up the great attitude and hope!

I can't wait to see that darling baby...and know that you did an awesome job getting her safe and sound!

..Penelope.. April 21st, 2012 07:57 PM

Re: My second to last appointment...(frustrated/a tad bit venty!) xposted
 
Sending strong progress vibes!

I'm another woman whose body does things last minute - with L, I refused cervical checks, but at my 40 wk appt, my doctor told me that L was still high and would have to drop for labor to start. I went into labor at 9 pm that night. 6 hours later, I was checked and was only 1 cm and 100% effaced. An hr later, I was dilated enough to be admitted, so 3 or 4. 2 hrs later, I was a 10 and L was born after 10 min of pushing. Hmm, I'm missing an hr in there lol


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