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-   -   Fears...? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2665398-fears.html)

kaylakay July 13th, 2013 03:45 AM

Fears...?
 
Hello guys!

Now since DH and I are discussing TTC I'm starting to over think my fears and its stopping me from TTC. It also doesn't help that I started working in Labor and Delivery a few months ago. Don't get me wrong I love, love, love my job and I would say 80% of the time people come in and have wonderful births with very little complications. But that 20% is very scary. I worry about still birth, maternal death (this one has been a huge new fear I've recently gotten) and the fact I had a stat c section with my first I also fear having to choose to VBAC or repeat section. I'm nervous ill make the wrong choice.

Anyway... It kinda sounds silly now that I type it out. But I feel these fears are consuming my life lately and stopping me from having the family I want. My co workers joke that if we didn't have kids before working on L&D we may never of had kids. There is just so much that can go wrong and I've seen some of it. It's very real and very scary. I feel I was naive during my first to term pregnancy.

Anyone else have these fears? I guess I'm just looking for support.

Sunrise July 13th, 2013 09:03 AM

Re: Fears...?
 
Hi and welcome. I definitely relate. We all have fears. Some are unfounded and some are bc these things have happened. The driving force will win :) wether it's not having another one (bc fear wins) or stepping through another pregnancy (bc desire for fam wins). I hope you make the best decision for you. Lots of luck.

kaylakay July 13th, 2013 11:43 AM

Re: Fears...?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunrise (Post 27516590)
Hi and welcome. I definitely relate. We all have fears. Some are unfounded and some are bc these things have happened. The driving force will win :) wether it's not having another one (bc fear wins) or stepping through another pregnancy (bc desire for fam wins). I hope you make the best decision for you. Lots of luck.

Thanks for the welcome! I used to be on the board a lot when I was pregnant after my 3 losses but just have been so busy.

Hopefully a few people remember me!

EverydayJoy July 13th, 2013 12:25 PM

Re: Fears...?
 
I don't think your fears are silly. You've seen things that a lot of women don't see, so it naturally makes you wary. My husband has worked as an EMT for many years and it makes him very protective of our kids. He has seen how just one slip, one mistake, one wrong action can end someone's life. Seeing that kind of stuff can make you lose your "innocence" or naiveté. Knowing that bad things can and do happen is scary.
I guess sometimes we just have to decide if it's worth the risk to us.
You've also had several losses, it looks like, and that also can make you fearful, even if you didn't work in the L&D dept.
It took me a lot longer than my DH to be ready to TTC again, too. Take your time.

Ame C July 13th, 2013 12:55 PM

Re: Fears...?
 
Ditto to the others. It's a normal state of mind when going through loss and working around it. I still have plenty of fears but I do my best to push them out of my head so I can get through another day as stress-free as possible.

momof8lopez July 13th, 2013 06:50 PM

Re: Fears...?
 
Just being on JM for so long, and seeing all kinds of horrible outcomes has played into my fears more than any other IRL experience. Some how, we push through them and let God take the lead.......really, not much more we can do!

melissalaw July 15th, 2013 08:47 AM

Re: Fears...?
 
I am so sorry that you are having these fears. I think these fears are naturally especially when you see what you see on a daily basis. I know after being on JM I am a lot like Lori and the things other women have gone through put alot of fear in me. I do what Lori does and I just put it in God's hands and try not worry. Although the not worrying is easier said than done. You've got one beautiful little girl so just trust that you will someday have another beautiful little child.

humnck July 15th, 2013 10:51 AM

Re: Fears...?
 
Kayla, I remember you :) We were also in the June '12 board together!

Anyways, I don't think the fears are silly. If your desire to have more children is there, you just have to figure out how to overcome those fears. Perhaps talking to a counselor will help, or just talking it out with your coworkers? Or perhaps typing them here will help even. I hope you find a way to get past them and have the family that you desire!

How is Ava doing by the way?

kaylakay July 21st, 2013 12:20 PM

Re: Fears...?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by humnck (Post 27520034)
Kayla, I remember you :) We were also in the June '12 board together!

Anyways, I don't think the fears are silly. If your desire to have more children is there, you just have to figure out how to overcome those fears. Perhaps talking to a counselor will help, or just talking it out with your coworkers? Or perhaps typing them here will help even. I hope you find a way to get past them and have the family that you desire!

How is Ava doing by the way?

She is so good! She is running around and getting into everything. I seriously cannot believe how fast they grow. She is getting so smart. Its so bittersweet.

Hows your little girl? Ava and her are only a couple weeks apart!


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