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-   -   How long do you let fussing go on? (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2673985-how-long-do-you-let-fussing-go.html)

EverydayJoy August 21st, 2013 05:08 PM

How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Kody has been out of sorts for probably 2 weeks. Whenever he gets tired (or sometimes even after just waking up) he will scream, and scream, and refuse to nurse, or take a bottle. I thought I had him figured out, but he is getting worse. How long do you just try to wait it out before you take them in to the doctor? The last couple days my patience has worn out and I end up just laying him down to cry by himself many times. I feel bad because he's got real tears and is obviously being bothered by something but there's nothing I can do for him. Today is definitely a "FML" worthy day.
I just don't want to go to the doctor and have them not be able to do anything. That would just piss me off more.

Ame C August 22nd, 2013 02:28 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Yikes... :( maybe you should go ahead and take him to the dr? Even if they don't see anything wrong with him at least you will know. I mean who knows, maybe there is something wrong and he's not feeling good? Poor little guy and poor mommy. I hope everything is okay. I can imagine you feel pretty fed-up and helpless not knowing what he's crying over. It can't be a good feeling, not at all :(

EverydayJoy August 22nd, 2013 03:43 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Thanks Amy, maybe I will take him in today. Can't hurt anyway!

melissalaw August 22nd, 2013 05:56 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Joy I agree I would take him in. I'm just wondering if he is in some kind of pain and that is what all the crying is about. I think this has gone on way too long for it to be nothing. I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. We had just a few days like that. I can only imagine 2 full weeks of constant crying. That is enough to make anybody crazy. Please let us know how it goes.

AimeeD041727 August 22nd, 2013 06:25 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
I agree with the other ladies. He could just be a colicky baby but it could be something more. He could be having a reaction to something that you are eating. Hope you get some answers!

EverydayJoy August 22nd, 2013 07:19 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Thanks ladies. Waiting for the doc's office to open now.

EverydayJoy August 22nd, 2013 05:01 PM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
I decided against the doctor's office today. I just couldn't make myself do it. I was too exhausted to deal with Ethan running around like crazy and getting into everything, like he seems to always do at a doctor's office. And I knew that they just won't find anything wrong with him. All they do is weigh him, measure, check ears, heart, lungs, and take his temperature. If he's not visibly ill there's nothing they can do. Well, even when babies are visibly ill there's usually still nothing they can do, except to say give them Tylenol. Besides, he is getting a re-check on his kidneys at Doernbecher's Children's hospital this coming Tuesday. I trust them to be much more thorough than my doctor's office. I don't have much faith in them, sorry to say.

I guess Kody's history and my own medical history doesn't give me much faith in doctors. My mom knew there was something wrong with me from a baby on forward, but no one listened to her till I was 3 years old. Then, lo and behold, your daughter has a kidney problem. Meanwhile, they'd kept telling her, "Babies just cry" whenever she'd try to bring me in.
And with Kody, if I really wanted to do anything serious to find out what's wrong, it would involve xrays, getting stuck with a needle to take blood (which they have to do on Tuesday anyway), and/or catheterizing him to check his urine. They say they can't get accurate urine samples unless they do it by catheter only. No other options. And I refuse to put my baby through additional pain just so they can tell me they don't know what's wrong with him. Or to say he has nothing wrong and the problem is me---I'm not coping well enough. Really, that's all it boils down to anyway---I'm the problem. If I was able to handle it ok, there'd be no problem.

AnnaBonana August 22nd, 2013 05:23 PM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Oh so many hugs!

I don't really have any advice, but I will say that so many times I've been scared off of the doctors for similar sort of reasons. Tuesday is close but also far away when you have an unhappy baby.

I hope things improve while you wait to see the doctor on Tuesday.

((Hugs)) to you, I hope you're not really blaming yourself.

EverydayJoy August 22nd, 2013 06:09 PM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Thanks Anna, I do blame myself for not being able to handle it better. I also know that my patience isn't the best with this because I've already had to deal with it when Ethan was a baby, and I soooo did not want to go through it again with a second baby. So the fact that I am going through the same thing just galls me. Anyway, thanks for listening!

MamaRN August 22nd, 2013 06:25 PM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
I'm sorry you are going through this. Fussy babies are so hard. I remember, I had 2. That said, I wouldn't let a 3 month old baby cry himself alone. Something is clearly wrong, and it warrants a visit to the pediatrician. If you find answer, maybe it will help with the crying and fussing and help you all get some rest. Keep us posted.

EverydayJoy August 22nd, 2013 10:05 PM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
I appreciate your input, MamaRN. Thing is, I've already been through this with his older brother. His older brother was exceptionally fussy (he had GER/GERD) for the first year of life, and from that I learned that if there's nothing measurably wrong with the baby---fever, low urine output, lack of BM's, pulling at ears, lung congestion, etc, then there's really nothing a doctor's office can do except offer their sympathy. And he's fine in all regards except for the screaming when he's tired.
Laying him down to "scream it out" is not my first choice, and it goes against my instincts, but my husband has been away for almost a month and I'm alone with two small children, one of which is a fussy baby. There are limits to what I can handle--hence laying him down and walking away.
He already has an appointment on Tuesday at Doernbecher's to recheck his kidneys, which we know have problems, so I prefer to just wait for the real pros to take a look at him. They'd be much more likely to spot any problems than my PCP would.

melissalaw August 23rd, 2013 05:48 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Joy I'm just so sorry that you are having to go through this again with Kody. I hate all the poking and prodding they do to babies also. We had to take Jacob to the hospital when he was 4 months old due to a very high fever and the catheter was terrible. He screamed and cried. Plus they did do some xrays and we had to hold him down which was awful. So I don't blame you at all for not wanting to go through that.

have you tried the probiotic yet? I just wonder if that would help at all. if I lived close to you I would come over and watch the boys and give you a break.

EverydayJoy August 23rd, 2013 07:56 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Thanks Melissa. Yeah Kody has already been catheterized twice in his little life and I have no desire to go through that again. He did well for xrays though, I think he slept through them. Screamed for a kidney ultrasound. Anyway he's been through so much already, I hate to do anything unnecessarily.
I caught a nap yesterday afternoon and the rest of the day went better.
I haven't tried the probiotic, we don't have any $$ until Josh gets back on Sunday or Monday. I can try it out then.

lelila August 23rd, 2013 11:30 AM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
Oh hun, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You sound so frustrated and tired.

My MIL told me to never give water to a baby (in her unbelievable brilliant wisdom said that since water has no taste, babies don't know it's in their mouth and so they choke on it. And this woman managed to keep 5 children alive to adulthood). So as soon as she told me that, I ran to the water cooler and filled up a bottle with water and gave it to my son. It pacified him, helped with colic by easing his stomach and resolved his constipation.

I'm not saying that your baby has any of those issues, but don't be afraid to try something simple, even if it isn't remotely related to his symptoms.

Oh and also, I put on the original Disney Fantasia when my son was like 4 mos old and he was memorized. I think he was a little too much so, he was kind of like stoned from the colors and stuff, but it really soothed him.

EverydayJoy August 23rd, 2013 12:15 PM

Re: How long do you let fussing go on?
 
LOL about your son getting stoned from Fantasia. That's great! Haha.
Your MIL is hilarious. Be careful---they will choke! Hah. All you have to do is make the water something other than exact body temperature, and the baby will know it's in their mouth. Goofy lady.


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