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cortln October 23rd, 2013 07:52 AM

mommies with toddlers
 
Hey everyone, I know there are some mommies on this board who have toddlers or have been through the toddler years.

My daughter is 2 1/2, tantrums just got BAD lol I've been putting her in her room and closing her door, I tell her she can come out when she's done, I'll usually go in there a few mins later and have a talk with her and tell her that because of her behavior she gets Dora taken away from her for a day. Since we've been doing this her tantrums are much less often.

I'm just wondering, what do you do for Tantrums at home, and especially out in public?

I don't want this to turn into who/what is right/wrong. Just curious as to what works for you and your child?

melissalaw October 23rd, 2013 08:33 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
Oh the ones in public are so embarrassing. thankfully we have only had one big one and DH had to take him screaming and crying to the car and then when we got home we made him sit at the kitchen table for the rest of the afternoon. So I think he sat there for over an hour but this was a really bad tantrum and he's 4 so we wanted to try to make sure that it never happened again. It was over a pair of shoes that I wouldn't buy him so we also are now refusing to buy the shoes. It must have worked because we haven't had any more like that.

When he has one at home they are not usually too bad so I just make him sit in the corner for about 15 minutes and that seems to calm him down. Every once in awhile he kicks the wall so we just add 5 minutes onto his time for every kick. I just can't seem to spank him so I don't do that. DH has only done that twice and I know the first one was for biting DH and the second one was when he knocked his brother over and made him bust his chin on the side of the bathtub. So we don't spank often and it does seem like time out works for him so I'm thankful for that.

he's 4 though so I'm just wondering when do the tantrums end.

humnck October 23rd, 2013 08:39 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
We haven't really had any in public, I have no idea what I will do then...lol!

For us, we do timeout, one minute for every year old that she is. As time has gone on, we had to do this less and less. Now that she is almost 5, we also tell her you can't have this or that because of your behavior. She doesn't have tantrums, she just cops attitude...her teen years will be so much fun, yikes! Anyways, that usually does the trick and if she starts to act poorly in public, I just say, do you want to be able to do this when you get home or later or whatever and that usually stops it.

My 16 month old drops to the floor and screams, so I am not looking forward to her later years...lol! We don't really discipline her because she is too young to get timeout, I just redirect and tell her no thank you that isn't nice. If she hits her sister with something I take it away and say no hitting, that isn't nice, and tell her that she doesn't get to play with whatever the weapon of choice was, she doesn't really get it but I know consistency is key in discipline so I just keep doing it, she will get it one day...hopefully before she mauls her sister :)

melissalaw October 23rd, 2013 09:34 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
Cary Jackson would throw himself down and scream and cry when he was Addy's age. That was always fun. Jacob never does that so that's nice.

Jackson doesn't understand why we won't put Jacob in time out when he hits Jackson. I try to explain to him that Jacob just doesn't really understand time out at his age but Jackson just gets pissed..

geogeek October 23rd, 2013 10:50 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
This is something that is relatively easy for me. The way people react around me sometimes makes me upset (I will tell a story to illustrate) but, for me, it isn't bad.

At home, if she really starts to have a major tantrum, I first try to calm her down. If it turns into hitting, kicking, screaming, I put her in her room to calm down with the door locked.

In public, if she melts down, I let her. I kneel down and rub her back. If she gets worse, I go outside with her in the cool air to calm her down. If that doesn't work I go home.

She had a meltdown in the Mall on Saturday and I was letting her melt down and was getting ready to kneel down next to her when a random lady (about my mom's age) pretty much scolded me for letting her scream face to the floor because it was dirty. She got down to Marsi's level and tried to pick her up. Yeah, I wanted to smack her. Don't touch my baby lady! It takes me a little longer to get on the ground next to her now with my obviously pregnant belly.

cortln October 23rd, 2013 10:54 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
OMG! I can't believe someone would actually try to pick up a strangers kid! People need to mind their own flipping business, that irritates me. Strangers should just shut their mouths and stay far away LOL

kaylakay October 23rd, 2013 10:56 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
My daughter is 16 months old and throws tantrums all the time. At home I ignore her because I don't want her to get attention from them.

After she's done I say "I love you but we can't act like that"

In public I pick her up and walk out .

Ahhh. The toddler years.

melissalaw October 23rd, 2013 11:29 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
Rachel I can't believe that somebody would try to pick Marsi up. I think I might have had a tantrum myself if someone tried to do that or interfered when my kid was having a tantrum.

humnck October 23rd, 2013 12:47 PM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
There are times when I ignore, every kid is different and you just have to try and find what works for you and your child. Sometimes time outs work, sometimes they don't, sometimes taking an item that they like away works, sometimes it blows up in your face...lol!

Children really need to be born with a troubleshooting manual...lmao!

melissalaw October 23rd, 2013 01:43 PM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
I ignore Jackson sometimes also Cary. he will usually just stop when I act like nothing is going on. That always pisses DH off though. so I only do it when he's not home.

Jessghetti October 23rd, 2013 05:36 PM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
Well mine is almost 14 months, she is getting to throwing tantrums. I am really surprised at just how clever they are and how fast they learn. I picked up a parenting book to try to understand what is the best way to go about disciplining your child.

I've heard. 'One minute in time at per year'.. so a 1 year old in time-out would be 1 minute.. a 2 year old.. 2 minutes.. and so on. Since kids have really short attention spans.

I think Geogeek has a good idea of what to do, with toddlers their minds are racing and they have all these emotions but not the means to express themselves.. so the frustration boils over and thus you have a tantrum. Your not meant to give in or loose your cool, talking through always helps. You want to calm your child down not escalate things, so they generally try to see what your temperament is vs their own. This probably explains it better..

How to Handle Your Child's Temper Tantrum: 14 Steps

I try my best to be calm and try to figure out what is wrong, we haven't tried disciplining or anything yet because I feel she is too young to understand the concept. So we will probably play it by ear and around 18 months start trying time-out. It's really difficult sometimes, especially when they are fussy for a really long time! Usually she gets most frustrated when fighting sleep.

cortln October 24th, 2013 05:11 AM

Re: mommies with toddlers
 
These are all great ideas.

I've also bought a book lol Nanny 911, a friend swears by it LOL I usually like to do things my own way but figure reading it can't hurt anything.

I just like to hear what other people do with their children, for those days when I feel like crying because nothing I do is working haha


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