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-   -   today (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f133-pregnancy-and-motherhood-after-loss/2687795-today.html)

cortln October 23rd, 2013 12:47 PM

today
 
I feel like I had a touch of morning sickness this afternoon. I'm afraid it's just all in my head, I'm so afraid of losing this pregnancy that I think I've been trying not to get my hopes up until I have my u/s on 11/7. I'm afraid of going and it being a missed miscarriage. Any symptom that I've been feeling I sit here and think to myself "am I really feeling this or is my mind just playing tricks on me."

humnck October 23rd, 2013 12:54 PM

Re: today
 
Ugh, the waiting really sucks! Try to tell yourself, when you aren't having symptoms, that that is normal. My doctor always reminded me, there will be good days when you feel like crap (oh the irony) and bad days when you will feel great and then freak out. It is the fluctuation in hormones, when they are rising quickly you feel terrible, when they level out for a bit, you feel okay. Then there are those lucky women that feel great the whole time :)

Sunrise October 23rd, 2013 02:20 PM

Re: today
 
The wait is terrible. And early ultrasounds are difficult. I hope the days go fast for you. Try to sleep as much as you can. Sticky thoughts...

Boos Moo October 23rd, 2013 05:33 PM

Re: today
 
Hugs. Being pregnant after suffering a loss or losses is just horrible for awhile (or a long while). For the first 2 months I was worried when I felt a new symptom and then worried when it went away. Waiting sucks - hope it goes quickly and try to keep your chin up.

Schofield06 October 23rd, 2013 05:52 PM

Re: today
 
The waiting is terrible. I was always second guessing every symptom early on too. I hope the wait gets easier for you.

cortln October 24th, 2013 05:07 AM

Re: today
 
Thank you..... taking it day by day. Looking back I was soooo naive when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was completely unaware (or just didn't think it could happen to me) that anything could or would go wrong. I would love to have that feeling back! Just to be able to not worry.

melissalaw October 24th, 2013 05:46 AM

Re: today
 
Oh honey I'm so sorry about your fears. I was the same as you during my first pregnancy. I had no clue that a missed miscarriage even existed. I was just dumb about pregnancy and thought that when baby died you would start bleeding immediately. My loss was an eye opener. I so desparately wish we could all go back and have that pregnancy ignorance again. I'm 23 weeks and still have fears. I do love JM and all the women I have met but I know some of my worry comes from what has happened to other women.

i hope you go on the 7th and see that beautiful heart beating away. And we are here to help the time pass until that date. Hopefully it will pass quickly.

cortln October 24th, 2013 06:43 AM

Re: today
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by melissalaw (Post 27756180)
I do love JM and all the women I have met but I know some of my worry comes from what has happened to other women.


I think this is a big part of it for me too. I love JM as well but hearing all the stories especially the really bad one's bothers me a lot. I think if I only knew that miscarriages weren't so common and didn't really hear the the stories about I wouldn't be so scared. It's awesome for support but sometimes I wonder if I should really be on here so much because of all of my anxieties. I just want to enjoy my pregnancy and think about things like decorating the nursery, making a list of things I need to buy, thinking of baby names, my plan to lose my baby weight, what baby will wear home from the hospital. I need to just overwhelm myself with these types of thoughts instead but sometimes it's just so hard not to think of all the things that could go wrong!

melissalaw October 24th, 2013 06:48 AM

Re: today
 
Well I hope that you can overwhelm yourself with those good thoughts. I know for me getting really involved in my DDC has helped. Most of the women in there have not suffered losses so they are full of that ignorant bliss. I also did steer clear of my DDC for the first 8 weeks or so because I just couldn't deal with any of the early losses and that did help also but now that we are hopefully past any losses or so I pray it has been great to be involved with those ladies.

I do love the pregnancy after loss board and it is a great source of support for women in a pregnancy after loss but sometimes it does make it harder because you know what so many of these women have been through and it adds to my worry. I won't tell you my latest worry because I'm sure it would just give you something to worry about later on..lol.

geogeek October 24th, 2013 08:36 AM

Re: today
 
I absolutely hate early pregnancy. I hope that time flies until your first ultrasound.

cortln October 24th, 2013 08:50 AM

Re: today
 
:) I hope the times flies for all of us so we can just hold our babies and have other worries besides pregnacy worries LOL since obviously the worrying NEVER ends!

Quote:

Originally Posted by melissalaw (Post 27756330)
I won't tell you my latest worry because I'm sure it would just give you something to worry about later on..lol.

Now you know you can't say this without me asking....what is this new worry you have? lol

melissalaw October 24th, 2013 09:08 AM

Re: today
 
LOL. A girl in my DDC is pregnant with a little boy whose cord is wrapped around his neck so now I have been worrying about my little guy getting his cord wrapped around is neck. So now that has me paranoid. I know he's too little right now for it to affect him but I worry that it will happen and cause a problem later on. Thankfully I am getting alot of ultrasounds so I think I would know. Just one more thing to worry about huh.

cortln October 24th, 2013 11:13 AM

Re: today
 
OMG Yes, that was a worry I had towards the end of my pregnancy with my daughter! I was afraid to make sudden moves because I thought it'd make her spin and the cord wrap around her! I completely forgot about that lol

If it's not one thing it's another.

melissalaw October 24th, 2013 11:17 AM

Re: today
 
LMAO. I never thought about sudden movements making them spin. that's funny. yep see I told you I would give you one more thing to worry about. I've got an ultrasound on Nov 7 which I guess is the same day as yours so I'm going to make sure they check that. I'm sure they will think I'm off my rocker but I just need that reassurance.

Boos Moo October 24th, 2013 11:17 AM

Re: today
 
Yea the DDC are nice because so many of the gals there have never experienced a loss. I'm always jealous of them already buying stuff for the baby and picking out names already (I'm only 14 weeks along). But I'm to scared to. Though I have started *thinking* about names (DH already has a middle name he really wants). But sometimes I don't want to go to my DDC with my fears and worries, I come here. I worry about bringing worry to those ladies who haven't gone through it. So if you feel like you need a break from this part of the board, we'd understand. But we're also here for you. I was struggling really bad a week or two ago and these wonderful ladies here really brought my spirits back up.

EverydayJoy October 24th, 2013 11:44 AM

Re: today
 
As for the cord around the neck worry, it's very common for them to have the cord around their necks, and it doesn't usually pose any problems. Both my living kiddos had their cords around their necks at birth, the doc just unwrapped it fast after they came out. My first had near-perfect APGARS at birth, second just slightly less than perfect.

melissalaw October 24th, 2013 12:04 PM

Re: today
 
Thanks for that Joy. The only one I have really heard about the cord around the neck was Brittanie and her daughter Cora so of course that scared me.

Therese I don't ever go to my DDC with my fears because like you I don't want to scare any of those girls. That is why I love this board for the support I get for those fears.

kaylakay October 24th, 2013 09:41 PM

Re: today
 
I am so scared it's ridiculous. One day I feel fine the next day I feel sick it's on going! Whenever I feel a cramp or anything I freak out.

I want to be naive again!!!!!!!!!

My first ultrasound is on the 6th. We're so close! We can suffer together ;)

AnnaBonana October 25th, 2013 04:03 AM

Re: today
 
When I told DH we had a positive HPT after our loss, I actually said "I can't do this, it's too horrible". DH was really upset that I said that, but I meant the early pregnancy days. Waiting for the bloodwork to confirm, then the ultrasounds. And I felt horrible because I was pretty much pretending I wasn't pregnant so as not to get too attached.

((Hugs)) Time moves on no matter what, but I hope the time goes especially quickly for you.

melissalaw October 25th, 2013 10:25 AM

Re: today
 
Good Luck at your ultrasound Kayla!!


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