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-   -   Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09 (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f275-pregnancy-loss-journals/1663798-christinas-journal-angel-baby-flew-to-heaven-8-5-09-a.html)

Christina226 August 7th, 2009 09:01 PM

Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Although I've experienced losses before, this one is hitting me harder. I'm not sure why but it could be because I was on medication for IBS but I wasn't sure if I was pregnant. I know I shouldn't blame myself though. God works in mysterious ways and there's a reason for everything. I just wish my baby was still here. I'm going to keep this as a place for me to write to my baby in Heaven.

I love you, Angel Baby. 8.5.09
*It's not goodbye; it's see you later*

Christina226 August 17th, 2009 05:11 PM

Re: Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Hey Angel Baby,

I know I didn't talk to you last night before going to sleep. I'm really sorry, but you know you're constantly on my mind. Nothing will take that away from me. I looked at the pregnancy test today. It's been a while since I've looked at it. I cried a little about you also. I miss you so much. I would've been 5 weeks baby. And next week is when my ALL-DAY sickness would've kicked in. I'd kill for that right now. Sometimes I still feel pregnant. I guess it's because I just wish you were here baby. Yes, daddy did mention about trying again but please know that we'll never forget you and never stop loving you and believe me, you could never be replaced. Just like your 2 siblings in Heaven with you cannot be replaced. You are all in daddy and my hearts. <3 We love you baby.

It's not goodbye; it's see you later.

Christina226 October 21st, 2009 01:37 AM

Re: Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Hey Angel Baby Jaylen. It's been a while. Actually a pretty long time since I've written in here to you but you know I talk to you at night. I love you so, so much. Sometimes I wonder how it would be if I was still pregnant, carrying you. I'd be almost into my 2nd trimester. :) Babygirl, you will NEVER, EVER be replaced. I just want you to know that. You are so missed. We love you so, so much. God Bless you and continue looking down upon us and watching over us.

I love you, love Mommy.

It's not goodbye; it's see you later. ♥

Christina226 December 24th, 2009 09:37 AM

Re: Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Hey baby Jaylen. It's Xmas eve and I'm looking at my ticker that says it's been 4 mos, 2 wks and 5 days since you grew your little Angel wings. We miss you SO much. I looked at the girls growing bellies, knowing that was supposed to be but it's not. I want you back but I know I can't get you back. God has his reasons baby girl, and I'm sorry you can't be here but remember, you're always here in our hearts. I love you so, so much. You'll never, ever be forgotten. You'll never, ever become a faded memory. I want you to know we're wishing you a very merry Xmas but you're spending it at home, in Heaven, with God. I love you baby girl, so much.

Merry Xmas to you! and to your siblings. I love you all.

RIP..</3.

It's not goodbye; it's see you later.

Christina226 January 3rd, 2010 11:02 PM

Re: Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Hey baby girl. I'm having some emotions go through me lately and they involve you. I want to have another baby, to complete our little family, but I don't want you to feel as if you've been replaced. I will NEVER, EVER replace you. It's impossible for that to happen!! I just get worried about the fact I may not be happy when it's born. I mean yes I'll be happy if the baby's born..of course! But I'm afraid I'll keep thinking about you and how you're supposed to be here. It's kinda hard to imagine myself smiling at a new baby and it not being you. It just hurts and I'm trying to deal with it as much as I can and as best as I can. I love you Angel Jaylen. I always will.

<3 RIP Jaylen.

It's not goodbye; it's see you later.

Christina226 January 5th, 2010 01:16 PM

Re: Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Hey baby love. How are you?? Must be playing with the little angels up there and your little siblings, of course. :) Hunny, you must know by now that mommy is pregnant. I want you...no, I NEED you to know that you could NEVER be replaced. I know a part of you is in this baby. I love you SO, SO much and so does Daddy. No one will ever forget you nor stop loving you, you must understand that. I know you're only a baby but still, PLEASE believe this is true. You mean the world to us. Just because you aren't here in physical form doesn't mean you're not here in our hearts and in our minds. You are special, beautiful, and missed by so many. Baby love, just keep in mind that no matter what happens for Daddy and me, you will forever be a part of this family. You don't have to be here physically to be a part of our family. Our love for you is SO strong that I'm sure it reaches Heaven and you can feel it. I believe you let this happen, so that Daddy and I can go on. I love you, we love you.

It's not goodbye; It's see you later. <3

I love you Baby girl Jaylen. My Precious Angel.

Christina226 January 8th, 2010 08:19 AM

Re: Christina's Journal--Angel Baby flew to Heaven on 8.5.09
 
Hey Jaylen,

Yesterday I got sad for a while. I was thinking about you, and I know tomorrow marks the time I had lost you, 3 weeks and 6 days pregnant. I really fear it happening again but I think you're looking down and protecting us. I thank you 100 times for that, baby love. I really miss you so much. And no baby could ever take your place. Like I've already said, I'm sure I may look at the baby and say "where's Jaylen?" -- But that's typical baby love. I miss you so much and I love you. I may not pray to you every single night because I knock out so quickly these days but you're on my mind every day. ♥

It's not goodbye; it's see you later.


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