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wesheets May 9th, 2013 02:14 PM

family time, sharing space
 
Hi all. I love all the threads but feel that I can't get to know everyone well, and focus on the things that join us together. I enjoy getting to know people and their stories....

I'll get started with the family story :)

I'm 40 years old and remarried in October. BCP's were new for me and my dh wasn't ever going to get fixed, but the pills made me sick to my stomach, and/or my legs hurt. I did cut them off and was intending to speak to my OB to get some new ones, in the mean time I did conceive :)

I have a back story to pregnancy: about 7 years ago I was hoping to have "just one more baby" and had a serious convo with my then husband. He said okay and I ended up seeing the reproductive endocrynologist. He told us that we were BOTH infertile. He also said that if you "shoot at a target long enough you're bound to hit it" and that when younger we had a higher probability of conceiving. I did see how that is true; at the age of 22, with 4 years of marriage behind me, I gave birth to my first child :) Eight years later I had our second, with no birth control plan between. Then, four years later I finally had my daughter, the month after the IUI and several months of painful fertility treatments failed. However, I believe that was due, in part, to clearing one of the blocked tubes during the water sonogram. Boy was that painful!

My last baby with ex-DH was what I call my bonus baby. For two medically infertile people we sure appear fertile :) I love them all.

Back to the present, I was off the pill ONE month and fell pregnant immediately. My DH is 46 and that means we are Abraham and Sarah :)

My three youngest - 10, 6, and 3, along with his two - 20 and 19, are now all joined together. It's been interesting and mostly smooth :)

We are Christians but I promise not to be overt with any comments. It is part of my life.

I work from home since I moved across the country to be here. I moved from the west coast to the east and it was fascinating to do so. I've never lived in snow :) I am an online instructor and teacher.

I know what I'm in for which is the exciting part. It's much worse not knowing what to expect and being hyper-sensitive to the feelings of pregnancy :)

I probably have more to say but can't think of it now. I hope that others will join in on this journey so that we can be involved with each other's experience. I just want to be able to share with a caring group of ladies :)

My first sono/ultrasound is in 3 weeks and I'm excited. I am sort of wondering if it is twins. I am thinking it might be possible, and ...well, who knows :)

<3 Weeee:wub:

wesheets May 10th, 2013 06:32 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Today I started to feel like I'm overwhelmed. My emotions are everywhere, I miss where I used to live. My uterus is working overtime. I'm feeling pains, or rather more like nonstop aching.....I'm exhausted. I just don't remember feeling like this before. I just don't. I'm only 5 weeks 1 day.

wesheets May 14th, 2013 07:48 AM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Well I'm very emotional. Almost growing exponentially as the days progress. I wonder now if perhaps it's not too much estrogen? On the other hand it's been 19 years since I was pregnant with a boy and I also wonder if this change is due to "different" hormones? I'm not sure. Then there's the thought that maybe it's more than one, as I'm having "too many" symptoms.....sigh. I don't quite know.

See, with my first I didn't find out until I was 9 weeks. My only telltale sign was extreme exhaustion. Boy howdy! Then, with the first girl pregnancy, baby #2, I was very emo, and just ended up having too much estrogen I guess :) Then with the following 2 pregnancies, baby #3 and baby #4, also girls, I don't recall anything too profound in terms of hormone related. The only consistent symptom I've had with all of them is exhaustion! I'm not sure what to think of all that, but I do know that I can't wait to have that first sonogram/ultrasound in two weeks!

I also feel very bloated. The entire front side of my belly area is distended; basically from a little below my breasts to the bottom it just sticks out some. I know it's more bloating, not "showing." I will show, and probably in the coming 6 weeks, but for now, it's frustrating since mat clothes are too large, and my clothes are dwindling in terms of selection :) It's normal, I know, but lame nonetheless :)

More to come later...

Weee

mirdeemrlvs May 16th, 2013 01:00 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wesheets (Post 27352780)
Hi all. I love all the threads but feel that I can't get to know everyone well, and focus on the things that join us together. I enjoy getting to know people and their stories....

HI.. I'm 43 and due in Aug with #5, girl #4 in a row with DH

I'll get started with the family story :)

I'm 40 years old and remarried in October. BCP's were new for me and my dh wasn't ever going to get fixed, but the pills made me sick to my stomach, and/or my legs hurt. I did cut them off and was intending to speak to my OB to get some new ones, in the mean time I did conceive :)

bcp never worked right for me and I had pcos. For the past 10 years dh and I don't prevent at all. After reading my friends book, "Quiver X" my eyes were really opened.

I have a back story to pregnancy: about 7 years ago I was hoping to have "just one more baby" and had a serious convo with my then husband. He said okay and I ended up seeing the reproductive endocrynologist. He told us that we were BOTH infertile. He also said that if you "shoot at a target long enough you're bound to hit it" and that when younger we had a higher probability of conceiving. I did see how that is true; at the age of 22, with 4 years of marriage behind me, I gave birth to my first child :) Eight years later I had our second, with no birth control plan between. Then, four years later I finally had my daughter, the month after the IUI and several months of painful fertility treatments failed. However, I believe that was due, in part, to clearing one of the blocked tubes during the water sonogram. Boy was that painful!

My last baby with ex-DH was what I call my bonus baby. For two medically infertile people we sure appear fertile :) I love them all.

Back to the present, I was off the pill ONE month and fell pregnant immediately. My DH is 46 and that means we are Abraham and Sarah :)

I have been saying the same thing. DH will be 44 next month. But, you know, they started having babies MUCH younger in those days and Abraham and Sarah were like in their 80's 90's.. so, we're good. LOL

My three youngest - 10, 6, and 3, along with his two - 20 and 19, are now all joined together. It's been interesting and mostly smooth :)

We are Christians but I promise not to be overt with any comments. It is part of my life.

We are Christians too :-)

I work from home since I moved across the country to be here. I moved from the west coast to the east and it was fascinating to do so. I've never lived in snow :) I am an online instructor and teacher.

Grew up on the East Coast. Moved to West Coast where dh is from 12 yrs ago. I miss the east coast SO much. DH will not leave here. My family is in the Southeast.

I know what I'm in for which is the exciting part. It's much worse not knowing what to expect and being hyper-sensitive to the feelings of pregnancy :)

I probably have more to say but can't think of it now. I hope that others will join in on this journey so that we can be involved with each other's experience. I just want to be able to share with a caring group of ladies :)

My first sono/ultrasound is in 3 weeks and I'm excited. I am sort of wondering if it is twins. I am thinking it might be possible, and ...well, who knows :)

I thought that at first too, I also thought I was having a boy as usual. But, I was wrong of course, one baby and it's a girl.

<3 Weeee:wub:

Welcome!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by wesheets (Post 27355924)
Today I started to feel like I'm overwhelmed. My emotions are everywhere, I miss where I used to live. My uterus is working overtime. I'm feeling pains, or rather more like nonstop aching.....I'm exhausted. I just don't remember feeling like this before. I just don't. I'm only 5 weeks 1 day.

It'll get better in the second trimester. I'm seriously emotional too.

wesheets May 16th, 2013 07:38 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Thanks Mir!

I'm due January 9/10. I guess it's always a range. Since I have PCOS there are the issues with ovulation or luteal phase or whatever :)

I'm not sure I can control these emotions right now, so I just hope to make it through this time.....I am also very tired. Took a "lay down" which is not exactly a true nap, for about 2 hours today. After I get the kids from school I just struggle with being "on"....sigh....

I keep hoping that I can handle all of it, but I think with what I'm dealing with right now with my 3 year old I'm a bit overwhelmed :)

LABs May 16th, 2013 10:12 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Welcome! BCP taken irregularly are the cause of several twins I've known! I struggle with taking prenatals regularly, so I know I'd end up with an unplanned pg. I'm apparently fertile enough to conceive twins our first month trying. I'm thinking its an age and multiple pg thing.

What a blessing for your family! With your youngest being so young, it sounds perfect to me!

The first trimester is usually exhausting! Its bad with twins!!!! I hope you have a great pg and make sure to let us know how many you are baking after your u/s!

wesheets May 17th, 2013 06:31 AM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Thanks Laura :)

I used to homeschool my oldest. He was very social and after three separate years I just stopped. I am also a teacher by trade so I literally got him into the best high school situation and with my (former) colleagues :) My 10 year old wants to homeschool and with her new hormone changes, I'm not sure I'm ready for that. LOL..I do like the concept of homeschooling and have only met one mom who really should NOT Have homeschooled her child - basically propogating the opinion that homeschooling is bad for children, etc. Her son was still an "emerging" reader in third grade. Um, at third grade it could be an LD and maybe needs more assistance....I taught English, so I'm a little familiar ;)

About the birth control: Um, yeah I wonder. I'm not really any MORE tired than previous pregnancies, but I do know that I wasn't this nauseous in any capacity, nor this dizzy. In fact, I was never dizzy before. Also, my clothes didn't get this tight this soon...so I'm not certain if it's an "age" thing or a "weight" thing or just a "multiples" thing :) I will definitely let everyone know what is up :)

As an aside, I do get hungry different times/different ways. For example, I woke up famished at 4 a.m. I thought, WOW...I cannot go back to bed and lay there hungry. So, I had a banana. I felt that was a good choice.

Thankfully everything else is going well. I struggle to get through my work but, I am guessing it's more about my exhaustion than anything.

When did you all start wearing mat clothes? If this is your third, fourth, or more pregnancy, did you feel you were showing sooner? Or, if you have multiples, did that play a part in your wearing of mat clothes?

LABs May 17th, 2013 12:45 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
This is my fifth pg. I have shown early with all of mine. Oddly I carry small at the end! I was beyond out of my loose jeans by 5 weeks. I'm talking zipper pulled wide open and couldn't get them up my hips properly. I went past my transition clothes and straight into full maternity. I'm 13 weeks now and look like I'm about 20! With my last baby I started wearing transition clothes at 8 weeks and maternity around 12.

I've had many 4 AM food runs. The nausea is the worst I've ever had. I'm taking Unisom now and it really helps! I've never had to take meds before, but had to this time. I had a subchorionic hematoma and had to stop the violence of vomiting. I was afraid it would cause me to bleed and possible m/c. Meds helped tremendously and the SCH healed with no bleeding!

I'm about to strangle my 10 yr old girl! She is an attitude handful! Her 11 yr old sister was last yr and has mellowed out a bit. Only becoming overly emotional every so often vs constantly. She is very excited to have new babies in the house! They are excited to not have to share! I hope that they still feel that way when they come! My oldest will be nearly 12 when the twins are born and she is so good with babies and children! She has a special bond with my 2 1/2 yr old. My middle two fight for dominance. You would think that the 6 yr gap would help, but it doesn't!

wesheets May 19th, 2013 08:57 AM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
So I"m going through a plethera of emotions right now and I don't know how to deal with them. Sometimes I'm so used to being the enforcer and the parent, that I wish I had a close confidant and mother to really flesh out the feelings without judgement. Does that make sense?
I mean, I have a variety of issues swirling in my head. I married at 18 not thinking of anything other than I'd be 68 when I was married 50 years. I was excited. Divorce was never part of my life plan. I divorced. I didn't want to have step children. I have step children. I thought I'd have all of my children by 30. I"m 40. LOL. And I have some solid experiences with all of those things. I know I have no guilt etc etc...its just...maybe this is midlife crisis stage for women AND men or what.....please tell me you all do life evaluation thinking, too. Please :)

Weee

mirdeemrlvs May 19th, 2013 07:53 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by wesheets (Post 27375609)
So I"m going through a plethera of emotions right now and I don't know how to deal with them. Sometimes I'm so used to being the enforcer and the parent, that I wish I had a close confidant and mother to really flesh out the feelings without judgement. Does that make sense?
I mean, I have a variety of issues swirling in my head. I married at 18 not thinking of anything other than I'd be 68 when I was married 50 years. I was excited. Divorce was never part of my life plan. I divorced. I didn't want to have step children. I have step children. I thought I'd have all of my children by 30. I"m 40. LOL. And I have some solid experiences with all of those things. I know I have no guilt etc etc...its just...maybe this is midlife crisis stage for women AND men or what.....please tell me you all do life evaluation thinking, too. Please :)

Weee

I never wanted to be divorced either as my parents were divorced. But, I know it was probably for the best for my mom and it was for the best for me, but- that doesn't mean it wasn't difficult. I also didn't want to be 43 and pregnant. But, God had other plans for my life. It's hard sometimes as I know I am being judged, but- I will have a precious baby and nothing else matters. :smile: We're pregnant. We're emotional. Just try to relax when you can and not stress too much. :smile:

Rebelmommy May 26th, 2013 08:07 AM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
I just wanted to add that with my recent baby (where I was "older") I did find that I was much more emotional about the whole thing than I had been with the other ones, and yes doing the whole life evaluation thing is normal too :) COngrats and have a healthy happy 9 months!

wesheets May 27th, 2013 08:55 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Thanks Rebel.

Just returned from CA to watch my son graduate from high school. More emotions. Tons. But it's life moving forward. I can't help that.

I have an ultrasound on Thursday. Maybe a sonogram. Anyway, exciting stuff!

wesheets May 31st, 2013 08:13 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Well, we had an ultrasound and it's a baby! LOL.
It's one, which is fine.
We saw the heart beating, but could not hear it.

I guess it's nice to see all aspects working as they should. That makes this mama happy.

We are still getting used to each other and it's sometimes awkward to talk about the pregnancy, after baby expectations and so on. You know, by this time in another relationship many of those things are a given. It's nice :) Here, it's still a bit daunting.

Let me share one aspect.

I've breastfed my other children. I didn't even begin pumping until I anticipated returning to work, a few weeks out to build a supply without over burdening myself in the process. I also rarely was able to get a baby to take a bottle until they were close to 4 months, and it always seemed to be "in the nick of time." With my first, and this one, I don't see a need to make the baby take a bottle. I work from home now so they'll be here with me. My husband on the other hand keeps bringing up how bonding it is to help feed, and asking if I'm going to be pumping. My perspective is that he can bond while holding, rubbing, bathing, and changing the diaper. It does not HAVE to include feeding!
My ex didn't pressure me either way. His ex did pump so he could help with feeding. It doesn't matter if you do or don't, but seeing as how I'm the food source, shouldn't it be my decision?

How do any of you feel about that?

Weeee

wesheets July 17th, 2013 07:42 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
I feel I've failed my own thread, but I'll try to keep it up :) Of late, I have had the end of a busy season at work come to an end. I work from home, which means online, so being on the boards is the last thing I have time for nor want to do :) I have been packing as we are moving two states away, 4 hours total, and that is just slightly stressful but I'm dealing :)
As for the pregnancy: I have been wondering why I'm so "big" at this point but finally lamented that being as this is #5, it's probably an "old hat" for my body and I'm just falling into the norm. Whatever. I don't know how big I look because I am a bit chubby at the moment, which is a sore spot to begin with...suffice it to say I'm probably in the grey area where people aren't sure if I'm overweight or pregnant, and I'm not quite round enough for the tie breaker.
I am 15 weeks. I can easily feel more like 5 months, not quite 6, and that's okay. What is not okay is just how over being pregnant I am. There are probably a few reasons for this.
I was jogging 3 5K's a week when I fell pregnant. Now, I'm down to almost nothing with exercise. After this move, I need to pick up something: walking, aerobics, yoga...something. I probably will take walking. I have a double jogging stroller, and it will fit both when the baby arrives. My youngest is 3, and she will fit wonderfully in there.
I have PCOS. Have I mentioned that before? I was really proud of myself for having gotten down to 185 and a comfortable size 14, after the last one was born. It was after a divorce, I was feeling good about myself, and was on meds for PCOS. Then I met my husband, and we wed. Now, the weight maintenance was good while doing Keto, but once we went on vaca to visit his dad, we ate our way there, and I was off the meds. Enter 15 pounds. I lost about 8, and then fell pregnant. Now I'm over 200 again and that is really not cool. I carry my weight well, and I have good image mostly, but....you know, body image is half of the psychology of health, etc. I am working on that daily.
Now I'm over the excessive sleepiness. I've regained most energy. I can't overdo it, though. This is especially problematic when it comes to packing! I also have no appetite one minute, and am starving the next...so, that's a hurdle.

I can't wait to feel the baby. And, it's been quite a while since I have seen the doctor so I need to get plugged in and start that up again, too!

Weeee

wesheets August 18th, 2013 06:57 PM

Re: family time, sharing space
 
Well, I feel awful that I've not kept up on weekly posting. I'd like to say I'll do better, but I know that I can't uphold that. I do work online, and part of me just wants to get off the computer when that is over with. I don't stay on 40 hours a week, it's variable, but by the same token I'm trying to work on maintaining family time and all that, so....I'll stay on top of it as I can. Is that okay?

I have my first doc appointment tomorrow since week 8. I am 19 weeks. I really don't mind all that much, but now need to further monitor the scar tissue more than anything else. This is my 5th csection and that is the biggest concern. I feel the baby kicking often so, again, I'm very comfortable with the position I'm in right now.

I wish I didn't have a blended family sometimes. It's not that the attitude or acceptance of my or my girl's presence are poor or distasteful. Just the opposite in fact. For that, I'm grateful. But, I feel that my role as a woman, a mother, is just constantly be tested. I think that on some level these boy-men (19 and 21) have traditional gender roles engrained in their minds. I don't like being unappreciated. And, it comes from my observation of teens in general. As a 13 year vet of the high school classroom, I see this trend, and please let me know if you find it to be true:
What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine, what's mine is NOT yours.

for me, this translates into time, resources, and effort. Frankly, it annoys the crap out of me. So, I make dinner most every night. Why? Not for any other reason than because MY girls are too young to cook and do need to eat, I need to eat, and I guess by default my spouse needs to eat. LOL...and I know all three of them can cook for themselves, but how terrible would it be if I "just" cooked for the girls and myself, and then they had to fend for themselves...or worse for them and then my husband, and made the boys cook for themselves. Now, before I get hate mail, let me say this: they completely stay hidden without offering to help with dinner; do no chores or housework unless their dad tells them to and even then not without specific directions which is the antithesis of how I was raised, and then "all of a sudden" they make themselves known when dinner is done. That is bs in my book. I feel used, the house cook, the maid...and I can't do that. I already have discussed this with my Dh so again, please no hate mail. I guess I'm venting. I could have posted this in many areas here, or not post it at all, but with all the hormones and sleepless nights, etc. I just have to share somewhere, even if for myself. Or, maybe I should just start writing it out and then tell no one. I don't really know. As a christian I "should" or perhaps should consider doing this as a ministry or maybe a sacrifice or giving of my gifts, blah blah blah. I don't know. I guess it's just hard for me to wrap my head around maintaining my expectations on cleanliness and so forth and then continue to build my relationship with my spouse, as well as say nothing or put up with these two grown men acting this way. I guess that is my confusion/frustration....

Sigh, all done for now.

Also, I have heartburn every day. I'm 19 weeks. Isn't it a little early for that!?

Weee


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