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-   Recurrent Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/)
-   -   I swear this is never going to end (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/234602-i-swear-never-going-to-end.html)

calicocat June 22nd, 2006 11:18 AM

I thought I had already miscarried, but when I went to the doctor on Tuesday, the baby was still in there, but was right at the opening, so I thought it would be all over with in a day or two. Well, here it is Thursday, and there's been no change. I am barely feeling any cramps or anything, so I think it's going to be in there forever. Today I have had a little more cramps, but nothing significant seems to be going on. I really want this over with right now. I can't leave the house to go to the store (we are completely out of everything) because I'm afraid it's going to happen in the store. I did take my kids to story time at the library this morning, but sat right by the bathroom in case something happened. I think tomorrow I will probably just get up and go to the store anyway and hope for the best. How much longer can I put my life on hold--other people are depending on me here.

I really do not want a D&C, and can't have one now anyway because DH had to go out of town and it's just me and the kids. It will be Monday before I can do anything about it, and I really don't want surgery anyway.

I guess this is just a rant. Always with me when things look the worst and I start to go nuts, that's when my situation starts to turn around, so maybe me going nuts is not so bad. I guess I just don't have much patience--maybe that's what God is trying to teach me right now.

wewantaminime June 22nd, 2006 12:17 PM

Just wanted to send you some :dothug: .

Sharon June 22nd, 2006 12:28 PM

I'm so sorry.

I've lost three children, with the first (6 weeks) I had terrific cramps at least a day before I started spotting and they came in waves like normal labor would. Then with my second baby (she was 20 weeks) I never had the first cramp at all, but when I m/c, it was unexpected - I stood out of the car and was drenched from the waist down, including the grass around my feet...still no cramps. My last baby (nine weeks) I didn't know about until the day of the m/c, but the cramps were almost as bad as with my first baby. You just may be one of the women who doesn't cramp when m/c.

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this and having it drawn out so long.


(((HUGS)))

4iris June 22nd, 2006 01:05 PM

I'm sorry this is dragging out so long for you. (((Hugs))) The surgery really isn't that bad, very quick and not painful. My only pain was cramps, and no worse than I had with my 1st m/c. Hopefully it won't come to that, but know that it's not bad if you have to have it done.

calicocat June 22nd, 2006 01:17 PM

I know I should probably get over myself and have the D&C. This natural miscarriage isn't so bad, except for the uncertainty, and the amount of time it's taking. I just think I'm going to be standing there in the check-out line or somewhere around a lot of people and have everything break loose on me (the whole scene of being soaked from the waist down has come to mind). And my DD will be traumatized having to see that, and it's all my fault for being so ###### stubborn.

Thanks for the support! I really need it today.

lizard June 22nd, 2006 03:37 PM

:dothug: I know how hard the waiting can be. With my second m/c, I was told at 6 weeks that I was going to miscarry. I didn't end up having the m/c till I was 10 weeks. It actually happened the day before I was scheduled to have the D&C (I was tired of waiting and worrying about when it would happen). :dothug:

beck12 June 22nd, 2006 05:35 PM

I don't know for sure (sorry I don't remember for certain) how long you have been in the process.... :confused:

It is hard. I was told I would mc at 6wks as well & it was just before 10 before I did. I had cramping for about 3 days - really intense & on the third day I was tired of laying aorund, taking it easy - so I walked the house - A LOT - and paced & took brakes only when it got too intense. I actually think the movement helped my mc progress, much the way women say it helps in labor. The only thing is - you are probably staying fairly active I would think if you have kids to look after...so I don't know if it even applies to your situation.

My only advice is walking....and if that isn't helping - then I say do whatever you think is best. I'm with you though on the D&C - I tried to avoid it at every cost unless I HAD to because I don't like medical intervention when possible. I can handle pain, etc - it's that I am concerned about possible complications, etc. I don't trust Dr's very much these days.

calicocat June 22nd, 2006 05:44 PM

I'm the same way, I hate medical intervention unless it's to save someone's life.

I have noticed that walking and being active does make me cramp more, but I was worried that maybe I shouldn't be walking a lot because it makes me bleed a lot more--plus it was 100 degrees in the shade of our front porch today, and who wants to walk in that. But sitting around--there's nothing going on down there. I was thinking that walking might help--they recommend it to start labor, so why wouldn't it work in this case too. This weekend, when DH gets back I think I'm going to go on a 5 mile hike around the yard--not getting far from the house, just in circles on our little walking trail.

I just found out last Friday that there was no heartbeat--I was supposed be 9w 2d based on my last period, but the baby had been measuring out a few days earlier. It should have been 8w 4d on Friday, but was only 8w 1d and no heartbeat. At least I found out pretty quickly--I didn't find out weeks and weeks later something was wrong.

srs June 22nd, 2006 08:30 PM

Wow, after reading some of these stories, I guess I was lucky. I never had to wait for mine to start. I'm sorry to hear you're having such a tough time. I hope the walking helps. :dothug:

calicocat June 23rd, 2006 12:34 PM

Just as I suspected--just as I start to think I'm really going to go nuts, things start to straighten out for me. As of about 9:30 this morning, everything is all right with me, physically at least. It's hard to express what I'm going through right now--I'm not really glad it's over, because I wish the whole miscarriage had never happened. But this waiting for the final act was the worst, since I knew it was all over anyway, and I've had a week to prepare so I was just ready for it be over. At least I feel like I can start pulling myself back together again! When I feel up to it, I'll post the whole story in the natural miscarriages sticky thread on the other board--and here too if we get a sticky like that.

4iris June 23rd, 2006 01:07 PM

Glad you've made it through. We'll be here for you whenever you're ready and/or need us. (((Hugs)))

beck12 June 23rd, 2006 04:20 PM

Sweetie I am glad at least something has moved along for you. I know it wasn't easy & I realize it in no way means anything other than just the fact that your body is finally on it's way to healing. There is always the heart as well. :confused: That will probably still be more work to get your heart healed. :wub:

I wish you all the best & am so glad that at least this part seems to be finishing up.


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