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-   -   Unrealistic fears (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f256-recurrent-miscarriage-and-pregnancy-loss/271168-unrealistic-fears.html)

EricaInOhio August 4th, 2006 08:26 AM

I just experienced my second M/C (2 consecutive pg) and I find myself experiencing unrealistic levels of fear that something will happen to my dd. I am so thankful I have her bc she has helped me more than anything else to deal with the m/c's. She is the light of my life. Now I find myself laying in bed at night worrying that she will be taken from me too. I told my dr. and I'm going on some anti-depressants for a couple months to see if I can get in a better place mentally. Just wondered if anyone else has had this problem.

4iris August 4th, 2006 08:36 AM

I'm so sorry you had another loss. I had two in a row as well. It's tough. I think for the first month after the second loss, when the grief and emotions really got rolling, I did wonder if I'd lose DS, too, or if something would happen to him. I was a bit of a nutcase about his seatbelt and wearing a life jacket in the pool, etc. But those feelings subsided as I realized that the only one who has control of his little life is God. I can do my best to keep him safe, but ultimately his future is out of my hands. So now I send up extra prayers for him and give him lots of extra hugs and kisses, because before long he'll be "too big" to let me do that.

I'm glad your doc is working with you. I think it's mostly just a grief reaction. :dothug:

EricaInOhio August 4th, 2006 09:05 AM

Thanks. I'm sure it stems from subconsious guilt that I couldn't protect my pg's from failure, but conciously I know there was nothing I could do. Sometimes it is hard to get the subconsious and the consious to agree.

lizard August 4th, 2006 10:19 AM

You are not alone. I have dealt with this as well, although more so after my first loss than after my second one. I would worry about all of the possible ways that my son could die. I realized that the thoughts that I was having weren't really rational. I had to work and work to override the thoughts I was having with other thoughts, so I wouldn't keep obsessing about something I really had no control over anyway. After all, I figure that I don't have control over everything, and as long as I am parenting him to the best of my ability, than that is all I can do. It also helped to know that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling. There was this thread awhile back on the p/g loss board. I'm glad that you talked to your doctor about it. Hopefully the medication will help you.

Sorry about your losses. :dothug:

candacesoon August 4th, 2006 02:52 PM

Quote:

It also helped to know that I wasn't alone in what I was feeling. There was this thread awhile back on the p/g loss board. I'm glad that you talked to your doctor about it. Hopefully the medication will help you.

Sorry about your losses. :dothug:[/b]


I started that thread a few months ago. I wasn't exactly sure how to link to it so I'm glad to see that you did it for me!

Erica,
If you get a chance to read that old thread you will see that you are very much not alone! In the past, medication worked well for me but that wasn't an option this time. I just wanted to let you know that these feelings do lessen as time goes on. I'm having far fewer irrational morbid thoughts now than I was back then. I would definitely not say that I feel optimistic either. I still expect that something else bad will happen and I will have to try to pick up the pieces again. BUT...I don't dwell on these thoughts constantly now.
My heart goes out to you.

Wishing you peace,

srs August 4th, 2006 05:48 PM

Tp put a slightly different spin on things, I don't have any living children, but after my first mc I was terrified that I would lose DH too, and then I would be all alone, and he would have died without us ever having a living child together. That pased after a few months , and I hope yours does too. Good luck to you and :dothug:
Sara


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