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firstxmommy October 30th, 2011 05:19 PM

Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
I hope this isn't a touchy question. I apologize in advance if it is. Getting pregnant again right now seems to be the only thing I think will make me whole again. Mychael, my daughter, who passed October 17th was my first child. I'm 37 so my clock is ticking. My husband is fearful for us to become pregnant again but he has 3 children so I don't think he understands how desperately I want a child of my own. I have 3 stepdaughters but they already have someone to call "mom." He says we can try again but he keeps saying he's scared that I'll experience preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome again so I'm worried that he won't be as into getting pregnant as I am. I think if we get a better high risk doctor who will more closely monitor my blood pressure that we won't experience another tragedy. Either way, I HAVE to try again. This is not an option.

So, my question is, how soon after losing your precious baby did you become pregnant?

Brittanie October 30th, 2011 09:27 PM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
Cora was stillborn at 38 weeks...full term. I'd had hyperemesis (extreme sickness) the whole time, so my doctor was worried for my own health. He gave me an order that I HAD to wait at least 3 months. We ended up waiting 4 months to try, and got pregnant the 2 cycle. There were 5 months between delivery and conception.

I have a friend who lost twins to HELLP, and didn't get it again with her other pregnancies. Hopefully it's the same for you

claire1979 October 31st, 2011 01:37 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
i waited 10 months to start trying....got pregnany on the 5th or 6th cycle

noworries October 31st, 2011 08:07 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
My son Eli was stillborn at 26 weeks. His cause of death was a virus that I contracted while I was pregnant with him (Cytomegalovirus or CMV). Once we got the ok from the high risk doc that the CMV wouldn't be a problem with another pregnancy, we started trying and got pregnant on the 2nd cycle. It was a little less than 3 months after Eli was stillborn that I got pregnant again.
The only thing I would warn you of is that since I got pregnant 3 months after Eli was born, my due date was on Eli's 1st birthday and that was kind of hard for me. My son Isaac ended up coming a few days early so he wasn't born on Eli's birthday but it's still kind of hard with their birthdays being just a few days apart.

momma S October 31st, 2011 09:48 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
Not to hijack this thread... but didn't/does anyone have infertility issues? We have never gotten pregnant on our own. IUI for my son and IVF for the twins. I am holding onto some hope that maybe my body will just "work" and get pg on my own since I just gave birth. I also think that getting pg soon would really help heal my heart. Not take away the pain of missing my babies, but it sure would help.

BlessednHighlyFavored October 31st, 2011 10:16 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
It is 2 months for me and I have been ready. I think it's a possibility I could be pregnant now because I have been having mixed results on hpt but I am starting to have some of the same syptoms that I did before....good luck in your decision...

firstxmommy October 31st, 2011 10:56 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by noworries (Post 25110759)
My son Eli was stillborn at 26 weeks. His cause of death was a virus that I contracted while I was pregnant with him (Cytomegalovirus or CMV). Once we got the ok from the high risk doc that the CMV wouldn't be a problem with another pregnancy, we started trying and got pregnant on the 2nd cycle. It was a little less than 3 months after Eli was stillborn that I got pregnant again.
The only thing I would warn you of is that since I got pregnant 3 months after Eli was born, my due date was on Eli's 1st birthday and that was kind of hard for me. My son Isaac ended up coming a few days early so he wasn't born on Eli's birthday but it's still kind of hard with their birthdays being just a few days apart.

your children are absolutely adorable. i think having another baby due on my daughter's birthday would be difficult but amazing in a way. i hear what you're saying though. i just want to be pregnant again. badly. it's like i'm obsessed with it now. i wanted to become pregnant so badly with my daughter but it's so much more intense now. i am really hoping and praying my husband will just cooperate! he's so fearful that we will experience preeclampsia and hellp syndrome again. we have no guarantee but i am willing to take that chance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by miraclebaby2011 (Post 25111603)
It is 2 months for me and I have been ready. I think it's a possibility I could be pregnant now because I have been having mixed results on hpt but I am starting to have some of the same syptoms that I did before....good luck in your decision...

yay for you! i'm crossing my fingers. i can't wait until i am pregnant again.

MeganMomof5 November 1st, 2011 11:56 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
I started to ttc again right away...I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle (3 months after her birth)...It ended in a loss (not related to ttc so soon)...I ended up having 2 losses total after Ella's birth....I just gave birth to my baby just short of 2 years since her birthday.

firstxmommy November 2nd, 2011 09:28 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
Megan, I'm like you. . . I want to try again asap. I just came back from my doctor. What's so frustrating for me is my blood pressure still being so high. I can't believe it's this hard to manage my blood pressure. The doctor told me I should wait 6 months. I plan on having my pressure under control soon and trying way sooner than 6 months. I'm not young and don't have time to be waiting that long. I definitely want my pressure under control and don't want to be experiencing any complications with lupus but there's no way I want to wait that long.

~Laurie~ November 2nd, 2011 12:32 PM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
We were told to wait three months after Eva was born and got pregnant the first cycle, but that turned out to be ectopic and then we HAD to wait three months due to the methotrexate that I was given as well as the extreme blood loss I suffered when I ruptured. We got pregnant with Declan the first cycle trying (3 months after I ruptured), but he was also stillborn. We took a break after Declan passed to assess our position and get some testing done, then got pregnant the first cycle trying (9 months after his birth), but that baby died at a little less than 13 weeks and I had a D&C. We waited 4 months to try again and conceived Chloe on the first cycle trying.
I understand the burning need to be pregnant again. After Eva died, all I could think about was how wrong it was that I wasn't pregnant. I felt like I would never feel at ease or happy and peaceful until I put everything back the way it was. Good luck, and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

firstxmommy November 2nd, 2011 06:07 PM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
God! I can't even imagine going through all that you've gone through. My husband keeps saying if we lose another baby and go through this again that it'll be so hard. I just feel that we experienced the preeclampsia and hellp syndrome due to doctors negligence. My lupus was under control and my blood pressure would've been under control if they'd done their job. So, I definitely feel we can do this again right away. I'm just so pissed off that I'm being told to wait. Ugh. I just feel being pregnant is the only thing that will make me whole right now. When you talk about cycles, are you talking about your menstrual cycle?

rebeccabaltimore and more November 5th, 2011 08:57 PM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
I'm the one you may be thinking of, infertility wise. I conceived Ethan in only 4 months, but I am annovulatory so I needed oral medication. He was stillborn at 5 months. We had to wait 3 months to try again because we didn't know what happened at first and we didn't want to try again if it was something genetic (it wasn't). It took 4 months of trying to get pregnant again, oral meds didn't work so we did injectibles and a double IUI. We conceived triplets that cycle. We lost two of them early in the second trimester, but our son Grant survived. He was born at 37 weeks and spent two weeks in the NICU for something kind of random, but he came home a healthy happy baby and is now an active toddler. He looks a lot like his brother :)

firstxmommy November 11th, 2011 10:27 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
awwww. congrats rebecca! i'm so sorry for the precious babies you lost.

it seems like as time goes on, i'm less and less obsessed with getting pregnant. i still want another baby as soon as possible but right now i'm trying to just heal emotionally and physically and enjoy my husband.

helen123 November 11th, 2011 11:01 PM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
My son Eric was stillborn at almost 39 weeks. Almost immediately I felt like I needed to be pregnant again. As the time went by, i wasn't sure if I wanted it or not. My dr told us to wait 3-4 months before trying again. Dh and I talked about it a lot, but we just couldn't decide because we were so scared of another loss ( the cause of Eric's death was never determined with autopsy and other tests). It took us 5 months to decide , and when both of us were absolutely certain that we can handle a what turned out to be a very stressful pregnancy we got pregnant

noworries November 14th, 2011 09:30 AM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
I think that feeling that urgent need to be pregnant again right away is pretty normal. You are supposed to be holding a baby in your arms but you are not. I remember my arms literally aching to hold a baby and Eli died and I didn't get to bring him home. I wanted a baby in my arms so badly and so I had a very strong desire to be pregnant again.
I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. (A rainbow baby is the baby you have after a loss....just in case you didn't know).
And yes, when we talk about cycles, we mean menstrual cycles.

firstxmommy November 14th, 2011 04:16 PM

Re: Can I ask everyone, how quickly did you become pregnant again?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by helen123 (Post 25177124)
My son Eric was stillborn at almost 39 weeks. Almost immediately I felt like I needed to be pregnant again. As the time went by, i wasn't sure if I wanted it or not. My dr told us to wait 3-4 months before trying again. Dh and I talked about it a lot, but we just couldn't decide because we were so scared of another loss ( the cause of Eric's death was never determined with autopsy and other tests). It took us 5 months to decide , and when both of us were absolutely certain that we can handle a what turned out to be a very stressful pregnancy we got pregnant


I'm so sorry for your loss! Congrats on your rainbow baby!

noworries ~ thanks so much for your post. it helps so much being somewhere and expressing my feelings knowing others can definitely relate. i pray i have my rainbow baby very soon!


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