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-   -   Would I be a bad person (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f52-teen-mommies-and-mommies-to/704622-would-i-bad-person.html)

lorelaileigh August 27th, 2007 02:06 AM

If I decided to give my baby up for adoption?

(If you get mad when you see this and want to start yelling dont post anything. I feel bad enough about it as it is)

dontrellzmommii August 27th, 2007 03:27 AM

Quote:

If I decided to give my baby up for adoption?

(If you get mad when you see this and want to start yelling dont post anything. I feel bad enough about it as it is)[/b]

In my option NO i dont think your a bad person. If you dont think your ready or able to provide for a baby at this moment, then thats fine. your putting your baby first by thinking ahead.

jdee0509 August 27th, 2007 04:48 AM

No I think that would make you a very very selfless person. Only you know if you have what it takes to raise a child (and trust me, you need a lot ) and if you feel you child would be best off in another home, then that is ultimetly your decision. :dothug:

*~*Meagan*~* August 27th, 2007 05:32 AM

Not at all. If you feel you can't raise your child right now allowing him/her to have a better home makes you a better person. I really hope everything works out for you. GL :dothug:

briena August 27th, 2007 07:00 AM

i dont think it makes you a bad person, your baby would have a chance at a really good life...just make sure your positive if thats what you choose to do..it would be a really hard regret to live with :dothug:

Lacey.♥s.Lemons August 27th, 2007 08:01 AM

No, not at all.

Melanie. August 27th, 2007 08:09 AM

Aren't you already attached to the baby, though? You planned her name and everything. I think that would be really, really hard.

BUT, I love adoption, definitely consider it if you're unsure of your future. For you, I'd go into an open adoption, if you're already attached, you get pics and phonecalls, etc.
I suggest you dropping by the Adoption and Birth Mom boards to get a better feel of the process. There are amazing women on both sides of the process and they will definitely help you in your decision making.

Good luck. :dothug:

beckii August 27th, 2007 08:28 AM

No, I don't think you're a bad person at all. I agree, it takes a really selfless person to do something like that.. I hope things work out the best for you though! How far along are you, again?

LavenderGoddessV August 27th, 2007 08:39 AM

No your not a bad person, your thinking about the baby.
I know its a tough choice to make just know
we ladies are here for advice and support.

lorelaileigh August 27th, 2007 09:42 AM

I just dunno what to do. After I got pregnant everything has just gone wrong. I lost my fiancée, one of my best friends, my baby is sick. My depression is coming back.. every day gets worse and worse and I dont want to do this anymore. I'm sick of being in bed all day. I'm going off my head soon! I love Lilly but I dont want her to grow up with a depressed mom. I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to be there for her as much as wish that I could and I want whats best for her. And if I can give her to some people who will love her and be there for her all the time that maybe thats best. Have absolutely no idea what to do. :( I'm almost 34 weeks.

Thanks for your support guys :dothug:

BrandiiNikkii.* August 27th, 2007 09:58 AM

No I dont think that would be bad. If U know U cant take care of her. U need to do whats best for HER.
But if U are doing it cause things have gone 'wrong' since U got preg...that is bad.
And as far as long as U are pregnany just gets hard & U do start to feel sader & if U have depression that can also playing into ut though of giving ur DD away.(not counting the stress U are under on Bed rest & her sick)
I would really sit down & think about it & make sure that adoption is what U really wanta do. Seeing as U have already named her...it might be hard.

Since U are 34weeks IF adoption is something U are thinking about I would go to a adpoiton agent & set up a appt to talk to them. They can tell U how all it would work & see if it is something U really wanta do.

Good Luck.

Dombone August 27th, 2007 10:02 AM

No you wouldn't be a bad person! You have to think about your baby and what's best for her!
Like MelMel said, go to to Birth Moms forum! They should be all full of answers for you :smile:

lorelaileigh August 27th, 2007 10:37 AM

I want what's best for my daughter. I'm afraid that after she's born I'm gonna get better because she's finally here and I have something to be happy about and then three years later I'll be really depressed again and maybe do something stupid.. like trying to kill myself (just an example) and have her taken away from me. I want her to grow up with the same people.. not being put into fosterhomes. I've been depressed for about 4 years. Its on and off but the meds doesnt really help and therapy sometimes make me feel even worse. Of course I dont want to give away my own daughter but if I can give her a better life with people who will always be there.. then maybe thats what I should do. This might sound silly and weird but thats how I'm thinking right now.

I'll check the board.. thanks

Maren August 27th, 2007 10:46 AM

Of course its not a bad idea :dothug: and it wouldnt make you a bad person. Honeslty IMO having your child adopted is the most selfless thing you could do because it is being done because that is whats best for the child. i wish you luck in making your decision!

briena August 27th, 2007 02:47 PM

Quote:

I just dunno what to do. After I got pregnant everything has just gone wrong. I lost my fiancée, one of my best friends, my baby is sick. My depression is coming back.. every day gets worse and worse and I dont want to do this anymore. I'm sick of being in bed all day. I'm going off my head soon! I love Lilly but I dont want her to grow up with a depressed mom. I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to be there for her as much as wish that I could and I want whats best for her. And if I can give her to some people who will love her and be there for her all the time that maybe thats best. Have absolutely no idea what to do. :( I'm almost 34 weeks.

Thanks for your support guys :dothug:[/b]

like brandi said you really really have to sit and think about it..because you might just be feeling this way from depression and a baby could change that for you she could cheer you up and be your world..but like you said your depression could always come back....sorry you have such a tough decision to make :(

irhungary1988 August 27th, 2007 05:13 PM

Not at all.

2pinks&ablue August 27th, 2007 06:46 PM

If you really think it's what's best for your baby then no, it makes you a great person. Just make sure you're sure it's what you want before you go through with it. *hugs*

sara~b August 27th, 2007 07:50 PM

I just wanted to pop in because I've been in your shoes. I was a single pregnant teen and I suffered from depression. My daughter didn't magically 'make it all better' but she gave me something to work for. She's my motivation to do better and try harder. I'd say the first six months after I had her I was a wreck mentally and emotionally. I even thought about giving her up for adoption when she was 4-5 months old. Now, I'm glad I didn't though. Like I said she's been my motivation. Now I have a house, a car, a career, and I'm getting my degree. I don't think I ever would have done any of that if I didn't keep my baby! GL and best wishes!

LisanAndy August 28th, 2007 04:14 AM

I agree with what the girls were saying about really thinking about it. You may be feeling this way right now because ur depressed and unhappy. If you choose adoption, it is one of the most selfless things you could ever do and I think it's wonderful. I just wouldn't want you to regret ur decision later on so think long and hard about it. I'll be praying that you make the right decision for you and ur daughter, good luck hun ((HUGS))

mommybabylove August 28th, 2007 06:52 AM

i agree with all the other girls.
if you give your daughter up for adoption it won't make you a bad person. You have to do what you think is right for you. No one can tell you what to do in a situation like this it has to be decided by you and only you.
:dothug:


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