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-   -   So upset :( (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f504-trying-to-conceive-1-year/2156499-so-upset.html)

wishfulgal November 10th, 2010 01:18 PM

So upset :(
 
Ugh. So ever since we found out that DH has severely low sperm count back in June, I have basically had no hope that I will get pregnant again. I allow myself a *little* hope that the varicocele surgery he had in September will work, but it takes at least 3 months for that to work and for new sperm to form so I had like zilch hope of getting pregnant before December at the very earilest. We've still been half-heartedly casually TTC and BDing when I'm fertile, but neither I nor DH expect anything out of it. I haven't even been sad when AF showed up for months. I mean overall, I'm sad every.single.day. that I'm not pregnant and probably never will be again, but AF showing up doesn't really make me any sadder than I am on any other day, ya know? I totally expect her to come. No big deal. It's been alot easier not having any hope, and getting a way from the month-to-month disappointment of finding out I'm not pregnant. I just assume I'm not pregnant and go on my way.

:mad: So WHY did this have to happen!? On Sunday, which was 7DPO for me, I had a tiny bit of reddish brown spotting in my underwear, a little smaller than the size of a dime. I am not a spotter. I do not spot. Never. :confused: There was only that one time and nothing else. I'm now 10DPO. I KNOW I'm not pregnant. I feel exactly like I always do at this point in my cycle. I always have this weird sciatic pain before AF and I have that. I'm just so mad that I had that stupid spotting b/c it did give me hope for maybe half a day. So now when AF shows I am going to be really sad, after months of her showing up not really even bothering me :mad::(:cry:

Honestly, I don't have low progesterone so the only possible explanation for that spotting that I can come up with is implantation spotting, but I KNOW I'm not pregnant. I never am and I really feel like AF is going to show in a few days. I'm just so upset that this had to happen. The last thing I need is false hope. If I'm not pregnant I don't want to have even the slightest inkling of hope that I could be. DH and I are moving towards adoption and I just don't need this stupid false hope if nothing is ever going to happen :cries:

MummyTo2Plus5 November 10th, 2010 01:32 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
:dothug:

Coley54 November 10th, 2010 02:25 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
I know that feeling all too well...our bodies are so mean to us. Hugs hun.

ETanny November 10th, 2010 02:37 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
:dothug: Im sorry you feel so sad hun xx

BandGeek November 10th, 2010 02:51 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
Sending lots of :dothug: your way! Hang in there!

Marieke November 10th, 2010 03:41 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
So sorry :dothug:

OurSweetLabs November 10th, 2010 04:59 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
Oh Sweetie,

Our bodies are so so cruel to us sometimes. I am so sorry that yours is giving you a hard time :(

acchickpea November 11th, 2010 11:12 AM

Re: So upset :(
 
Agreed! Our bodies are so mean to us..... Just not fair.
HUGS..... KUP.

MEG282 November 11th, 2010 03:23 PM

Re: So upset :(
 
I have gone thru that before, it is horrible how our bodies :eek:"trick" us! For myself, as much as I tell myself I am not I still have that glimmer of hope in the back of my head that I might be! Hang in there! Thinking of you!:)

mandi.leigh November 12th, 2010 04:55 AM

Re: So upset :(
 
Hugs! Definitely know the feeling.

Christina33 November 12th, 2010 08:27 AM

Re: So upset :(
 
So sorry Hun :dothug:


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