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-   -   Sorry I've been MIA (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f114-trying-to-conceive-after-loss/2634857-sorry-ive-been-mia.html)

MoonAngel702 March 14th, 2013 06:02 PM

Sorry I've been MIA
 
Hey ladies, sorry I haven't been as active on here lately. I guess I finally reached a point where I really needed a JM break!

So today I'm CD12 and the 1st month we are "allowed" to ttc since the loss in december and getting lots of EWCM so I know ovulation is right around the corner. Normally I would be happy about this ... I can't really explain how I feel deep down inside but I guess to sum it up I would say I'm scared. I can tell my DH really wants to try again but I'm just not sure I'm ready yet.

So I'm kind of not sure if we will be trying to catch the egg this month or not. :confused:

How are all you doing?

Redneck_Mommy March 14th, 2013 06:24 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Howdy. I get where you're coming from, being scared to try again. It's so difficult to try and lose. After losing a baby, TTC is changed forever. That's just the way it is. You're the only one that can determine when you're ready to try again. I hope you find the peace and strength to continue on the TTC road soon, and get that beautiful baby you and DH want so badly.

lelila March 14th, 2013 06:42 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
I think we all take a JM break for time to time. I am sorry you have gone through so much - PP is right, we are all forever changed by our losses.

One day at a time. If it doesn't feel right, then skip it. Only you can know when it's the right time for you.

Be well and take care of yourself!

MoonAngel702 March 14th, 2013 08:51 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Redneck_Mommy (Post 27197149)
Howdy. I get where you're coming from, being scared to try again. It's so difficult to try and lose. After losing a baby, TTC is changed forever. That's just the way it is. You're the only one that can determine when you're ready to try again. I hope you find the peace and strength to continue on the TTC road soon, and get that beautiful baby you and DH want so badly.

Yeah TTC definitely has changed. I was less scared last month when we weren't TTC. I thought I was going to be ready. Right when this cycle started and I knew we were going to be able to try again, I cried my eyes out. :( I'm even feeling emotional thinking about trying. Thanks so much for your kind words! :hug:

MoonAngel702 March 14th, 2013 08:57 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lelila (Post 27197221)
I think we all take a JM break for time to time. I am sorry you have gone through so much - PP is right, we are all forever changed by our losses.

One day at a time. If it doesn't feel right, then skip it. Only you can know when it's the right time for you.

Be well and take care of yourself!

Thank you so much! I feel so conflicted. I want a baby more than anything and I know there is only one way to get there.... So at some point, I'm going to have to get over my fear and take that chance.

Thanks for your kind words! :hug:

Ame C March 15th, 2013 03:19 AM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
I feel the exact same way and have also been distancing myself from JM. You and I have a lot in common. I'm CD 10 and we are going to skip this egg also because I have been feeling the same as you, scared and just not ready. DH is ready and waiting on me and it makes me feel worse... like he and I should be on the same page but I'm holding us back. I WANT to be ready but I'm so freaked out that something else horrible will happen. I'm starting to feel good about the idea of ttc in April so we shall see how I feel when I am about CD 10 in April. If we do conceive in April there is a really good chance my due date will fall on our anniversary because of where I am in my cycle. :smile: I like that idea.

Yesterday my in-laws came over for a visit. My MIL took me over to the side and handed me a 'little something she picked up for me' then said "No pressure." I opened the plastic bag and it was a light blue Moby wrap. I guess everyone else is ready for us to start ttc again too. It was kind of painful seeing a baby gift when I'm not pregnant but I know she did it with good intent.

PM me sometime and keep in touch. Maybe we will be ttc buddies next month :p

Sunrise March 15th, 2013 05:27 AM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
I relate to you as well. I feel very torn & dominates my emotions right now. But isn't it always a risk to m/c? I wonder if I m/c again, will I get passed it? So what's the solution?


I hope you find your answer. You can find support here. ((Hugs))

cortln March 15th, 2013 07:56 AM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Awwww, I'm sorry :( I know how you feel!!! I had a miscarriage in December. Have been terrified to start TTC. I found out last week one of my close friends is 9 weeks pregnant, another girl I know just had twins yesterday, I've been having baby fever. I have this overwhelming feeling right now that I want to be pregnant. I didn't think I'd be ready until summer/fall but I told my husband last night that I think I am ready, I've lost 10lbs and am feeling like i'm in a good place, been exercising and feel good :) I'm still scared to death to find out I'm pregnant but like you said, I need to try and get past that fear. We will never forget our losses but I think we will eventually we will be brave enough to try again :)

mommamindy March 15th, 2013 11:17 AM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
It is so hard believing in and trusting in something we have no control over. It's scary. I hope when you decide you're ready, everything fits in place just like it's supposed to and you have lots of peace with your decision.

momology March 15th, 2013 01:06 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
I know exactly what you mean. I want a baby more than anything but when we actually get the green light to ttc again I have no idea how I will actually feel. It is such a scary thing to think about. Like the other ladies said - take your time and only you will know when you are ready. Whenever you are ready to try again we will be here to support you along the way :smile:

MoonAngel702 March 15th, 2013 04:10 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Ame C (Post 27197816)
I feel the exact same way and have also been distancing myself from JM. You and I have a lot in common. I'm CD 10 and we are going to skip this egg also because I have been feeling the same as you, scared and just not ready. DH is ready and waiting on me and it makes me feel worse... like he and I should be on the same page but I'm holding us back. I WANT to be ready but I'm so freaked out that something else horrible will happen. I'm starting to feel good about the idea of ttc in April so we shall see how I feel when I am about CD 10 in April. If we do conceive in April there is a really good chance my due date will fall on our anniversary because of where I am in my cycle. :smile: I like that idea.

Yesterday my in-laws came over for a visit. My MIL took me over to the side and handed me a 'little something she picked up for me' then said "No pressure." I opened the plastic bag and it was a light blue Moby wrap. I guess everyone else is ready for us to start ttc again too. It was kind of painful seeing a baby gift when I'm not pregnant but I know she did it with good intent.

PM me sometime and keep in touch. Maybe we will be ttc buddies next month :p

Hi Amy! I'm sorry you are feeling the same way. Not a fun way to feel at all! I really want to be ready too. The sad thing is I'm not sure if I'm going to feel any better next month or not. Like it seems like the more time that goes by, the more time I have to think about it...and the more scared I feel each month!

We will for sure keep in touch and it would really be awesome if we both catch the egg next month and be in the same DDC with our beautiful rainbow babies! And what a great anniversary gift that would be for you and your hubby! Definitely PM me too, any time!!

Oh, I'm sure your MIL was trying to be thoughtful but I can totally see how that would be painful as well. (((Hugs)))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunrise (Post 27197999)
I relate to you as well. I feel very torn & dominates my emotions right now. But isn't it always a risk to m/c? I wonder if I m/c again, will I get passed it? So what's the solution?


I hope you find your answer. You can find support here. ((Hugs))

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. It's always a risk for anybody to take. It's hard to not let fear get in the way of our dreams sometimes. Especially when that fear is another loss.

Thank you so much!

MoonAngel702 March 15th, 2013 04:16 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cortln (Post 27198516)
Awwww, I'm sorry :( I know how you feel!!! I had a miscarriage in December. Have been terrified to start TTC. I found out last week one of my close friends is 9 weeks pregnant, another girl I know just had twins yesterday, I've been having baby fever. I have this overwhelming feeling right now that I want to be pregnant. I didn't think I'd be ready until summer/fall but I told my husband last night that I think I am ready, I've lost 10lbs and am feeling like i'm in a good place, been exercising and feel good :) I'm still scared to death to find out I'm pregnant but like you said, I need to try and get past that fear. We will never forget our losses but I think we will eventually we will be brave enough to try again :)

How exciting that you are in a good place now to start TTC again! Lots of baby dust coming your way!! Where are you in your cycle?

:dust:

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommamindy (Post 27199174)
It is so hard believing in and trusting in something we have no control over. It's scary. I hope when you decide you're ready, everything fits in place just like it's supposed to and you have lots of peace with your decision.

No doubt about that. Thank you so much! How are you doing Mindy?

MoonAngel702 March 15th, 2013 04:21 PM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by momology (Post 27199484)
I know exactly what you mean. I want a baby more than anything but when we actually get the green light to ttc again I have no idea how I will actually feel. It is such a scary thing to think about. Like the other ladies said - take your time and only you will know when you are ready. Whenever you are ready to try again we will be here to support you along the way :smile:

Thank you! Do you know when you will be getting the green light to try again?

Thanks for all the kind words! I knew I could come here and get the support from everybody. I never thought I would be so sad to TTC again. I'm used to being excited about it and only sad if AF shows. So this is a new feeling for me.

Lots of :dust: to all my favorite ladies here!!!

I can't wait for us all to get our rainbows!!

momology March 18th, 2013 06:34 AM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
I am just playing the waiting game for now. My doctor wont even discuss how long we will have to wait until my HCG is back to 0. I am on week 8 of monitoring my levels but they are still going down so I can't complain too much. My nurse said the doctor will suggest anywhere from 2-6 months of 0 HCGs before I am given the green light. Maybe I will get my first 0 this week :smile: A girl can dream.

MoonAngel702 March 18th, 2013 07:16 AM

Re: Sorry I've been MIA
 
Sorry to hear you are still waiting for your # to get to 0 :( hopefully you will get good news this week! And hopefully you won't have to wait too long once you get to 0. KUP!


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