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-   -   Do your friends ...... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f243-trying-to-conceive-large-families/307032-do-your-friends.html)

LadyBelle September 12th, 2006 01:38 PM

ever make you feel crazy about trying to conceive?

no but they think i am crazy period :lol:

tootienkyle September 12th, 2006 07:18 PM

Well originally when we said we were gonna get my tubal reversal the first thing everyone asked was, "are you crazy or are you serious??" ugh...how I hated that...made me feel really "embarrassed" for some reason or "little"..but I realized that I can't care what everyone else thinks of me...it's what I want, not them!!

~* LiSa *~ September 13th, 2006 11:08 AM

Since I will be having my tubal reversal for reasons other than to have a baby, I'm sure my friends and family would support me should I ever become PG again. If I were to tell them I was having a reversal so I could have a baby, I'm sure I'd be admonished for it. What really bothers me is how other people have so much to say about it...but really...are they the ones who will be taking care of the child? Are they the ones who will financially support this child? They act like we have children - but THEY will be the ones raising them! I can say from my own perspective, my parents and sisters were always supportive of each of my pregnancies. It was my very own cousins who tried to convince me to abort each pregnancy after my first. As strong as I stand on being anti-abortion, they did their best to try to convince me that I shouldn't have a baby. Their reasons? Because I already had my figure back from having my first child and having a baby would mean they saw less of me.

Pathetic!

I've learned that no matter what...the only thing that matters is what YOU want. YOU will be the one taking care of the baby, not them. And perhaps it's good to question these "nay-sayers" as to why YOUR baby would be such a burden on them and why they have such a problem with it.

It is really frustrating how other people can be so discouraging at times! All we can do is keep going...

clouise September 13th, 2006 11:41 AM

After we found out baby #2 was a boy everyone said "oh now you have a boy and a girl - the perfect family - you can stop." So whenever we start ttc #3 (probably next spring/summer) I am not going to say a word..lol. I'll just announce my pregnany at the 13 week mark and let people think whatever they want.

~* LiSa *~ September 13th, 2006 12:12 PM

Quote:

After we found out baby #2 was a boy everyone said "oh now you have a boy and a girl - the perfect family - you can stop." So whenever we start ttc #3 (probably next spring/summer) I am not going to say a word..lol. I'll just announce my pregnany at the 13 week mark and let people think whatever they want.[/b]

Good idea! Just tell the one's you know will be supportive of you, otherwise they may be a little hurt that you didn't tell them!

After I became PG with my third child, I told the entire family! Of course, my cousins were not supportive of it, but my parents and sisters were. After hearing my cousins talk for so long, telling me I am making a poor decision by having the baby... I had a placental abruption. I ended up losing the baby 3 weeks later, at 16.5 weeks. My cousins sure were quiet then! It just really hurt.

So when I became PG with my fourth child, I decided to not tell anyone. I knew I was at risk of another placental abruption, so I wanted to wait until I was in the clear to tell everyone. I tried to keep it from my Mom, but I didn't have the heart to. I knew she would support me and be there for me, so I went ahead and told her and my father, as well as my sisters. I asked them to not tell anyone else in the family either, and let them know why. My parents/sisters respected my decision but were overjoyed that I trusted their love enough, to know they would support me...and therefore telling them of the pregnancy. I, too, am thankful I did because I sure needed their emotional support just weeks later...

As nature would have it, I had another placental abruption with that pregnancy, this time at 12 weeks. I was in the hospital, had to take a leave of absence from work and was put on bed rest for 2 weeks. So of course everyone put 2 & 2 together and figured it out that I was PG. My parents/sisters were there for me the entire time. My cousins...their mouths were still shut. Nothing was said to me, but it was said behind my back and they many times said "see...I told you she shouldn't have babies." I ended up having a healthy, full term baby girl and tied my tubes a year after her birth.

If after my tubal reversal I do get PG, I will handle it much like I did my last pregnancy. I will tell my parents/sisters, as well as my husbands parents/sisters...but for my extended family, I'm not sure that I even care to inform them.

MamaAshley September 13th, 2006 01:15 PM

Some people do make me feel crazy about having more babies, mostly b/c my kids are so close in age. Plus they just figure i'll have 3 and that's it. My in-laws had 5 kids, so they really don't think we're crazy, my mom however thinks i'm nuts but still of course loves me and supports me, she only had 2 kids, myself and my brother. I had a girl, then a boy, and everyone figured I was done, and were sort of shocked when we annouced we were expecting our 3rd. Everyone figures we'll have a 4th though, since I guess they just realize we'll have as many as WE want, not what everyone else wants. However, we have the money to support them, if we didn't no way woul dI have any more children. Nothing bothers me more to see someone who doesn't have the moeny to take care of the kids she already has trying to have more. We have a large enough home for probably 4 kids, any more than 4 might get a little tight. If someone tells me i'm crazy for having more I just look right in their eyes and say "I'm sorry you feel that way, i'll be sure to not make you apart of my baby's life in the future" and that usually shuts them up! hehe

~* LiSa *~ September 13th, 2006 01:43 PM

There you go! That's the way to do it! LOL

I agree... large families would be better off having more children if they have the financial means to take care of them, as well as room in the house. When we decided to blend our families together and get married, one of our first objectives was to add an addition to the house so we have plenty of room for everyone! We currently have 4 girls sharing 2 rooms (2 girls in each) and our son has his own room. We went from 3 bedrooms to 4 bedrooms and our house was extended out by 6 feet. So we are roughly 2000sf now. Not huge, but definately big enough for our family. Plus it's nice to have a living room AND a family room so the kids have a place to hang out together and watch TV while my husband and I are watching our "boring" reality shows. LOL The kids would much rather watch something else!


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