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-   -   I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f74-trying-to-conceive-medical-assistance/2668236-i-hate-being-jealous-and-want-to-happy.html)

IndyMommyWannabe July 26th, 2013 09:15 PM

I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
but danmit, it is so hard! :(

So my older brother and SIL have a 4 year old son already (whom I love like crazy) - and I won't get into details, as they are good parents...but they do have their hands full with my nephew as he is autistic...

Of course my parents know all we are going through, with trying to get pregnant - and I will say my brother is a great dad and works 2 jobs to support his family - but this new baby is an "accident" as they weren't planning for him/her and I honestly don't know if they can afford a second child...but that's neither here nor there (again, I won't put out my brother and SIL's details...).

I WANT to be happy for them - and I WANT to be excited that I'll be getting a new niece or nephew...although it doesn't really matter as I've only even met my nephew a handful of times (because they live in Florida and we are in Indiana) - but I can't tell ya'll how flipping hard it is!!!!! WHERE IS MINE?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE JUST ONE?! really - just one - ONE is all we want!

Why do they get an "oops" and WE STILL HAVE NOTHING?!!!!!!!

sorry, I just really needed to have a pity party...:tantrum:

jes81878 July 27th, 2013 05:51 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I'm sorry and won't go into family details either, but I know exactly how you feel. It took us over 4 years to conceive, and it was a rough and heartbreaking journey. We finally got our 1st BFP in April, but it ended up ectopic (with an emergency surgery and the loss of my tube too). We went straight to IVF and are expecting twins. There are so many medications, vitamins, suppliments, and medical help out there now....don't give up because it will happen. Good luck to you.

melissaleigh July 27th, 2013 06:40 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I'm so sorry :(. None of this ever seems fair.

MandyEllen July 27th, 2013 07:08 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I'm so sorry that you're having those feelings. Just remember that you're allowed to feel whatever you feel.

Lucy S. July 27th, 2013 01:36 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
:( :(
I can't imagine how hard that is on you :(
I am having a hard enough time with my sister pregnant but I have the boys.

I am so sorry. Life is so unfair sometimes and science sucks!

Cait&AngelAbove July 27th, 2013 03:06 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I'm so sorry! I have been in a similar situation and it is really hard.

*Leah* July 28th, 2013 01:30 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
((HUGS))....been there...done that! I will NEVER understand it ... when we try so hard - and then every other week, I hear of an OOPS. HOW DO THEY DO THAT??? SERIOUSLY.

It's okay to be frustrated... you can't change what your heart wants... I'm sorry to share that hearing about "oopses" NEVER gets easy. I will always want another child. I don't understand why it is so easy for some and hard for others. I wish I could make some sense of it, but I know I never will.

We're here for you sweetie ((HUGS))

starlitnite611 July 28th, 2013 04:39 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I am so very sorry ... *hugs*

MrsAmanda July 28th, 2013 04:58 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
:hug: I know how you feel and its no fun. Its okay to stop the strong face for awhile and have the pity party. We can pity party with you.

Impatientlywaiting July 28th, 2013 05:16 PM

Also been in a very similar situation. Sometimes the only thing that makes you feel ANY better even for just a minute is to cry it out and tell someone how u feel. Even then that's only temporary. The feeling doesnt ever go away till you really get that baby.

Gamer_Princess July 29th, 2013 03:20 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I know the exact feeling girl :( Thinking of you :wub:

Nicholle ttc July 29th, 2013 11:16 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
:bighug: Totally get it, I have definitely been there! I wish I had the words to take away the pain or explain how unfair it is. Like we have talked about, one day we will be mommies and we will meet up and have a play date with our kids. You know I am here for you. Facebook me anytime you need anything! And again, we will definitely have to meet up sometime very soon! XOXO

Eleanor-Abigail July 29th, 2013 11:32 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I think your feelings are normal and reasonable. Difficult and painful, but completely understandable. I recently found out that my 20 y.o. niece, who *just* got married and has no job, is pregnant. I'm like, "you missed, God! You were supposed to be aiming for me and you missed by 2 states & 20 years!!"

I also have ugly thoughts when I go into my OB's office and see other moms that (I assume) are illegal immigrants, "welfare" moms, or whatever. Ugly thoughts, totally a result of my baggage, but there they are.

I think it's good for you to come here, and you should absolutely allow yourself to cry if that helps you. I'm sorry you're far from your niece & nephew. If you were closer you could be like a 2nd family to them.

IndyMommyWannabe July 31st, 2013 05:26 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
you all are so awesome. :)

EricsMom August 1st, 2013 11:57 AM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I so know how u feel ... the 4 yrs we spent trying to conceive our DS and the 8 yrs we've spent TTC'ing #2 I am constantly surrounded by oopes, multiple pregnancies, abortion used for birth control, moms on welfare repeatedly getting pregnant ... there is nothing about this journey that is fair. Everything you're feeling is normal.

HUGS

smsturner August 1st, 2013 12:02 PM

Re: I HATE being jealous and WANT to be happy...
 
I'm sorry I missed this before.
Just wanted to send love and hugs honey. It's not fair at all. I'm so sorry.


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