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-   -   Please, I need some encouragement.... :( (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f149-trying-to-conceive-pcos/2645606-please-i-need-some-encouragement.html)

LucasMom11 April 24th, 2013 08:10 AM

Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
I am SO DISCOURAGED..I was diagnosed PCOS back in September, I am still breastfeeding my 23 month old baby boy… I started taking met since February, when we started TTCing….and since I haven’t even got a period yet, and I’m 37, I went to a specialist in PCOS…because of how important this issue is for me, I went to the ‘top specialist’. I mean, I spend over US$100 just for the appointment! And do you know what she said to me???
“Stop breastfeeding! Enough! 2 years is too much….and overweight as you are??? NO WAY you’re gonna get pregnant! You have to stop breastfeeding and lose weight. You won’t get pregnant like that, and if you do, you *WILL* miscarriage. You’re too overweight”. Just like that. I looked at her, and told her that I felt that my hormones were all over the place, that I wanted her to take blood tests and check me up so she could tell me how to get them back on track, and she said ‘but stop breastfeeding! That will alter all your results’.
So, I told her that when I got pregnant with my first son (and only) I was only 5 pounds lighter than now, and she told me “Yes, but you’re older now”, “you HAVE to change, nobody gets pregnant by the Holy Spirit, you know?”
I was devastated…does this mean that I will never conceive again??? I know I have to lose weight, I know that stop breastfeeding would help me, but doctor made it look so impossible, or at least sooooo far away….and the clock is ticking, I’m not getting any younger….argh….
Do you know any cases of women like me who got pregnant anyway? I need something that gives me hope! :(

madis-mama17 April 24th, 2013 09:52 AM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
*hugs* this is horrible... I don't have any words of advice bit just wanted to wish you luck and hope things loom up for you!!

epsilonbeta April 24th, 2013 06:44 PM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
That is not right for any doctor to talk to their patients that way. You can never give up hope. You hear about babies that weren't supposed to happen all the time. I would get a different doctor ASAP

Rayn1469 April 27th, 2013 08:14 PM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
So sorry to hear that the Dr talked to you that way. If I was you I would report to her the Medical Board.:o
No it's not the end of the line, i truly believe if you're supposed to have another child you will. I know its hard but keep your spirits up. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that everything works out for you. :hug:

nburke108 April 30th, 2013 03:16 PM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
If you aren't happy with your doctor, get a second opinion. But remember, you went to that specialist for a reason to get their advice. The doc shouldn't have spoke to you that way, and been more caring and sensitive to your needs. However, you need to take into consideration their medical advice. I hate going to see doctors and taking medicine, but if you really want a child, you have to do everything you can to make that possible. To me it doesn't sound like the doctor said it was impossible by what you said...do not give up hope and go find a doctor that you will be happy with. If it is meant to be, it will happen for you! Baby dust to you

Angelgirl30 May 16th, 2013 05:46 AM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
Whoa this post seriously upset me very much!! How dare her speak to you like that!! I will be 100% honest with you on my success story because I feel it might make you feel better and you definitely need to change doctors!!!

I tried for 11 years! YES 11 YEARS! To get pregnant. My oldest is almost 11 years old. The other two are my step daughters. Anyway, I tried everything...losing weight, metformin, I tried it all. When I was prescribed Clomid it took 4 rounds and I was pregnant. I was 240lbs when I got pregnant. I have since lost weight through this pregnancy and sit at 230lbs now.

DO NOT let them discourage you. It can happen!! I know girls that are bigger then me and they are carrying perfectly healthy babies!! If that doctor won't help you then please please find one that understands PCOS and that will!!!

Good luck!

wesheets May 17th, 2013 06:18 AM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
The first thing I noticed is that you are in or from Santiago. Is this correct? If so, then medical practices in other countries differ from the US. Here, many Reproductive Endocrynologists will tell you that losing weight would make it easier, but will also immediately get blood work, do exams, and begin the process. That is just how we work here. It is a multimillion dollar business and the more BFP's they produce, the greater their business. I was DX at the age of 35, after having 2 kids,using no birth control and getting married at 18. I had my first at 22, and my second at 30. From there I sought out help. My OB/GYN sent me to an Endo. He took exams from both my husband and I. I was diagnosed with PCOS, and he was diagnosed with male infertility. He had it all: very low count, morphology, and motility issues.

Now, at the time I was about 220 lbs. I had just started Met. Eventually I worked through all the tests and began the process for IUI as Clomid etc works well when your husband is fine. Bottom line:

He counseled many woman that, while trying to conceive, work on your OWN health. PCOS is MORE than just a reproductive issue, it affects the heart, the liver, and so many other facets. We NEED to be healthy. Period. It is a lifelong work, yes, but there is nothing wrong with working on losing weight while TTC.

With the breastfeeding, it often suppresses ovulation. After I breastfed for about 13 months, I stopped. I did this 4 times over. After quitting breastfeeding, I didn't have a period for another 9 months! NINE!

Look, if you want to add to your family, and you are 37, you may not ovulate right away after bf'ing. You may need to lose a few pounds. If you do, and conceive on your own, then you can tell that dr, "No thanks to you, I did it!" But, if you do drop 20 lbs and are having a cycle and don't get pregnant, you'll need someone to help you. All dr's are expected to guide patients to health. While I admit the truth is hard to hear, and maybe the dr doesn't have good bedside manner, you know she is only trying to tell you what it will take to reach your goal.

You could do nothing, be angry at this one doc, and then continue on this path. You may or may not conceive on your own. But in 3 years, when you are 40, and nothing has happened, who is to blame? Certainly not this doctor.

If you search out the top doctor would you expect any less? Some doctors who work with the morbidly obese will not conduct weight loss surgery to help the patient lose weight, until they first....lose weight! Sound counterintuitive? Maybe...OR perhaps they are helping the patient help themself AND demonstrate how sincere they are toward this goal.

You CAN do this, you CAN do your part. From there, it's a mix of medications, support, strategy and whether or not your body responds to all that treatment. We have no control over that part.

Weeee

babymama10 July 2nd, 2013 06:38 PM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
YIKES!!! Find another specialist. There are so many more pleasant ways for her to tell you her medical opinion without being so awful and mean.
I guess if I were you I would feel no matter what this doctor said, true or not with her bedside manner , do you really want to work with her to try to get pregnant?
I don't think I would.
Good luck honey. I have SEVERE pcos and with all the medical medicines and great doctors I managed to get pregnant ,over weight , and advance maternal age. I was 40 when I gave birth 8 months ago. She was unplanned but my other children were not.
I also want to add that I think the reason for this surprise pregnancy at 40 was because I "some how" lost several pounds.And that must have been enough to bring on ovulation for me:)
Sadly tho weight has a ton to do with PCOS and ovulation. Plus like WESHEETS said," Pcos affects you'r heart,liver,kidneys, blood pressure, and more." So loosing weight as hard as it is for pcos women always helps our health.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you get the second baby you want so badly. :)

bebe.starlet1 October 29th, 2013 02:42 PM

Re: Please, I need some encouragement.... :(
 
it is in fact a horrible thing to hear from a doctor, specially a "specialist" who is supposed to understand your issue and be able to have some simpathy, although what "wesheets" says is totally correct, there is certaintly no need to speak to a patient that way, there are better ways.

i cannot compare my situation with yours, since i'm only 25 and you are bit older than me, but we have almost the same situation. i was a little overweight when my husband and i ttc for the past 7 years. for the past year i decided to seek medical help since i would not get pg on my own (considering i already have a son, who is 8 now), so last year 2012 i was started on Clomid 50mg for 6 months straight and all i gained was weight. i decided to stop for the last 6 months of the year to rest of all the treatment. my DH and i decided to try again this year and went with a specialist here in Texas, he dx right away with PCOS, reason why i couldn't get pregnant no matter how hard i tried and how much treatment i took. he started me on Metformin 100mg daily and did blood work, he then started me on Clomid 50mg for 2 months to see if i O'd, no luck, i did another 2 months of 100mg of clomid and nothing. at this point i was already weighing 250lbs, i wanted to quit so bad because no matter what i did i couldnt loose the weight while TTC, I've never been the type to over eat, my problem is that i dont eat when i'm supposed to, sometimes i skip meals because of work (which is really no excuse) and my OB wanted me to be eating 6 times a day, i thought he was nuts but oh well. end of story i did a last round of 150mg of clomid on August just when i had started my aerobics class and then in september i found out i was pregnant. i had my 1st u/s on the 16th of this month to confirm it was twins and today 29th i saw them both and their heartbeats.

my point is, there is hope, but we cannot leave all in the hands of the physicians or of God, we have to do our part, i was able to lose close to 10 lbs when i started my aerobics class and i think that really gave me the extra push x2! i can no longer do the class since my pregnancy is high risk but i'm eating healthy and walking everyday, i'm no longer in metformin either because i no longer need it. every story is different yes, but when God blesses you, the feeling and joy is the same for every mom, have faith, dont get discouraged and TRY!!


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