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-   -   Vent.... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f132-trying-to-conceive-six-months/2598724-vent.html)

FishermansWife4 November 25th, 2012 08:20 AM

Vent....
 
Okay, so we've been trying since March to conceive. I just got a text last night from my best friend. She's living with her parents still, has no boyfriend to speak of, and isn't exactly a "respondsible adult." She's ttc'ing :pullhair: with her "friend" who has a son already that he doesn't see or take care of. I swear, I'm trying to be happy for her, REALLY trying, but it's really hard. I mean, I wouldn't exactly call her "mother of the year to be." She watched my children for me a few times, even lived with me, trust me, she's not ready. I can't break her bubble though because deep down I do have hope she'll change and be a good mom when she does conceive. I don't know why it hurts so bad, it just does. I'm not typically a jealous person when it comes to babies and pregnancy. It just kind of set me off last night. My DH told me to be happy for her because it's not really my business. I guess he's right. I just know that if she turns up pregnant before I do, I'm probably going to go into a crying fit and be ten kinds of upset. I just really wish I could be happy for her. Maybe I'll try to imagine our children (mine and hers) playing together and I'll get used to the idea? I don't know. Am I really being that much of a brat though? Am I nuts to feel this way? Thanks for listening, ladies :hug: I really appreciate it.

alittlelost November 25th, 2012 10:57 AM

Re: Vent....
 
How you feel is understandable and I can't really understand why someone would TRY to get pregnant in that situation. :(

Allie_SMg November 25th, 2012 12:33 PM

Re: Vent....
 
Aw, I'm sorry, hon. We all have those moments. Don't feel bad. I was upset for a week when I found out two of my cousins who were NOT in relationships with the baby daddies and lived with their parents were pregnant at 18-19 years old and one already had a toddler. I about had a fit and didn't want anything to do with them because I was so upset that irresponsible teens who didn't even try to get pregnant would be mommies before I could. I know the feeling. Yet, I had to remember that I had a pregnancy scare when I was 19 too (though there was NO way I was haha). We're all human, so I have to accept them. It wasn't that I thought it was bad to have kids at a young age, just that they did it so irresponsibly when people like us here are responsible and have such a hard time getting pregnant.

As for your situation, she doesn't sound like she's in a good place to have children, but I would hope that she would be a good mother when she does conceive. Why people would TRY to have kids with people they aren't in relationships with is beyond me though. Especially since they aren't in a good place financially, living with parents and all. I would just try to be a good friend to her. :hug:

Frozenoj November 25th, 2012 09:33 PM

Re: Vent....
 
I don't understand why someone in that position would TTC either, but I hope that if she does get a BFP she will be a good mom. It's completely understandable why you would be upset.

jillviray November 25th, 2012 09:41 PM

Re: Vent....
 
Feeling that way is normal. You are not nuts. You're just concerned because she is your bestfriend.

BabyX November 26th, 2012 07:59 AM

Re: Vent....
 
I think I understand how you are feeling. For starters you're probably thinking that she is going to probably get pregnant fairly easily. On top of that you have to wonder if she will even appreciate the gift that she is being given. Whereas, you have been struggling all this time and it is a gift that you would very much appreciate receiving. When I think of all of the girls out there that this is true for it really burns my bisquits.
As a person who is a friend you are probably worried about the heart ache she may potentially face in the future. If she doesn't already have a stable family environment to bring a baby into that just leaves a whole mess of potential problems in the future.
Basically I think your feelings are completly rational. :hug:

captivate November 26th, 2012 09:10 AM

Re: Vent....
 
Never feel bad for thinking and feeling these things. This is human nature and for a fella to say what he did, thats also normal. Men do not get it like we do.

I also think everything your feeling is natural and if you didnt then you would not be normal.

The way in which she is doing it is against alot of peoples morals but I have had friends who TTC with friends because they dont want the family unit, just the child and they have become very very good mothers.

I look at people with new borns and heavily pregnant people and I still and I think always will have that pang of green eyed monster.

Vent away to us, we understand like no other. xxx

FishermansWife4 November 26th, 2012 10:56 AM

Re: Vent....
 
Thank you, all, ladies. I really appreciate having you ladies here who understand. :hug: Sometimes i just feel so nuts and alone. You ladies really help pull me up. Thank you again.

WorkerBeeMama November 26th, 2012 03:24 PM

Re: Vent....
 
I totally understand. I really hope you get a BFP before she does so you can be an example to her of how it should be done :) It amazes me the decisions that some people make sometimes.

FishermansWife4 November 26th, 2012 05:24 PM

Re: Vent....
 
Thank you, Mindy. I pray you see your super sticky bfp soon too :)


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