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-   -   I just don't understand... (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f131-trying-to-conceive-your-first-child/2479536-i-just-dont-understand.html)

Born2BeaMommy January 23rd, 2012 04:53 PM

I just don't understand...
 
My fiance and I have been trying to conceive a child for over a year and a half. This last month we heard about the fertility calender so we tried it! We documented everything, except my temperature. We tried multiple times a day on days I was fertile. We even looked for positions that made it easier to get pregnant, but it seems nothing has worked. We both love children and just want to settle down and have a family now. After being adamantly working with the calender this month, even taking prenatal vitamins, I unfortunately had my aunt flow come visit this morning! I don't understand how some are so lucky who sometimes don't even want children, when people like him and i would do anything just to be parents. Bad luck, huh?
Does anyone have any advice for us? We are very disappointed, as you can imagine. :confused:
Thanks everyone.:smile:

IndyMommyWannabe January 23rd, 2012 05:24 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
:hiya: and welcome!! :D

First question...so you've only just started charting?? Being that you've been trying for over a year and a half, you might wanna see your primary care physician about getting an SA (semen Analysis) done on your fiance, as well as standard fertility testing on yourself...

Normally it takes a while for couples who are TTC and only just starting out charting to get into the 'rhythm' of knowing one's body/cycle and all that...but again - you may wanna talk with your doc about having fertility testing done..

Good luck!! :D

Tammyms January 23rd, 2012 05:37 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
A lot of us here feel your pain as many of us have been ttc for that long or longer. Sometimes it can be something as simple as bad timing and sometimes there are other issues that you may not be aware of. It's usually recommended if you've been ttc for over a year to go to a doctor and get some tests started. :iagree: with the above post about getting an SA done for hubby and some of the tests for yourself such as CD3 b/w and maybe a progesterone draw if your doc will do that.

Are your cycles regular? Would you consider charting and/or using OPK's? I used them before I saw the doc and knew exactly what was going on and was able to give the docs that info. We ended up with a referral to the fertility clinic after 9 months because DH's numbers were low and turned out I have PCOS :(

dansyl January 23rd, 2012 05:42 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
:ditto: to what the other girls said. :welcome: I'm Kara and my wife and I are TTC our first. I'm one of the hosts here. This is a great group of girls and they are all very knowledgable about TTC!! I hope we can help answer any questions you may have and I hope you get some answers soon!! With you trying for a year, it wouldn't be a bad idea to go ahead and see at least and OB. It may be something simple that's an easy fix!

Born2BeaMommy January 23rd, 2012 06:04 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Thank you everyone!! You have no idea how happy I am that someone else understands how I feel! & Sorry for not going to the welcome one first! (Was a little antsy to get my question out there!) To be honest, I had no idea anyone struggled with this! (Shows how out of the loop I am. :( ) One of the girls I went to high school with had her first time and got pregnant. I never imagined anyone really had an issue, since it doesn't seem to be a topic that people openly talk about... (Thank the Lord for sites like these!! ) My fiance and I weren't adamantly trying to conceive until the past couple months. We weren't trying to prevent either though! I went to the video section of this site and the one about TTC, the doctor said you should try everything for a year before seeking help! Maybe we'll just have to try a little harder. When I was 17 my DF and I had a m/c. Until about two years ago, the idea of pregnancy was out of the question. It absolutely tore me up. I was too afraid of losing another one to try again or even talk about it. But now we want to attempt this again! I'm praying & hoping for the best. My OB said there is no reason I shouldn't be able to conceive because of that, so I'm so very thankful for that! :D He also has a daughter from a past relationship, so at least I know he can have children. (Sigh.) There's so many complications and scary things that come from this! I'm so absolutely grateful that there is a site like this that can help me with this. And knowing that I am not alone struggling with this! The fact that it is a little more common then I had ever thought is so comforting.
Thank you so much everyone. :D Hope your Monday evening is going well.
Macey (:

Mom2JDub January 23rd, 2012 06:10 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Sorry you're struggling with TTC. :hug:

I can tell you that fertility charting... temps, cervical mucus, and OPKs... really changed my life. It was only then that I realized that I had a luteal phase defect. That is, the time between ovulation and your period. Mine was only 5 days when I first started charting. And it was an "Aha!" moment. There was no physical way that I was going to get pregnant unless I was able to lengthen my LP. So I did research on ways to improve it, and it helped tremendously.

I would highly recommend that you add charting your temps and using OPKs if you really want to pinpoint ovulation. If it's something as simple as a short LP, you can fix it. If it's something more complicated, well, you'll have the charts and information you need to discuss with your doctor.

Best of luck to you. I hope you feel comfortable continuing to ask questions here and keep us posted.

Born2BeaMommy January 23rd, 2012 06:37 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Thank you so much for all the advice!! I'm definitely going to try a little harder this time! Thankfully my DF is on board with everything or this would be so much more difficult! I'm going to do everything in my power to try and do this right! Now with OPK's, is there anything I should know? Where should I get them? Is there a specific brand that's best? I want to make sure to do this without mistakes! I would love to have a baby by Christmas! D: Worth a try, right?
Thanks for everything ladies. :D
I'm hoping to talk on here regularly! Maybe it'll help my stress to know I'm not alone! :D
Macey (:

Tammyms January 23rd, 2012 07:07 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Where are you from Macey?? That's make a huge difference where you get your OPK's from! :lol:

Born2BeaMommy January 23rd, 2012 07:19 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
I'm in Washington! So, does that mean I can't get them from a Wal-Mart? Should I get them from a drug store? IE; A Wal-Greens? Or another pharmacy? Everyone here says that the dollar tree pregnancy tests are the same ones they do in doctor's offices. I have no idea if that is true or false but I'm definitely favoring the latter choice. I have never had a doctor's pregnancy test, so until I'm sure I'm very wary about where I buy that kind of thing and what brand.
Thanks!
Macey (:

blueeyes25s January 23rd, 2012 07:30 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Hi and welcome! I'm Dawn...all the ladies above gave great advice and I would recommend you take there advice. I buy my OPK's on Amazon, they are called wondfo and come with HPT too! They work really good for me but the first couple months you may want to buy a digi opk and once you get a positive on the cheapies you can confirm the pos with the digi.

Good luck...it could happen :)

Tammyms January 23rd, 2012 07:36 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
One of the other gals posted that Walmart now has cheap OPK's for $0.88 each so you can definitely start there. I don't get them cheap here because I'm in Canada :( If you kind of know how long your cycles are, digi's are the way to go when you're learning because that smiley face doesn't leave any room for doubt! Wondfo's are my fav brand as well, I get them from ebay :)

Born2BeaMommy January 23rd, 2012 07:49 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Thank you guys so much, again! This is so incredible! I appreciate all of you taking the time to write to me!
I will definitely look into this. 0.88 huh? I might have to try that!
I don't know if I'm ready to see a doctor about all of this yet because since my DF and I are not yet married, they normally look down on all of that. I switched doctors when i was 19 because they all but said something along the lines with my m/c that it was "for the best". I like my doctor now so i don't know if I'm ready for all the judgement. Know what I mean?
Again, thank you so much!

Tammyms January 23rd, 2012 07:56 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Are you kidding me?? Your docs actually said that?!?! I'm so sorry, that is the most horrible thing to say to anyone about a miscarriage no matter what the circumstances!

Born2BeaMommy January 23rd, 2012 08:02 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Thank you so much for saying that! And yes, he did. I went in confused and upset (At 17, I did not understand what was going on), and his only comforting words was that it was probably for the best. He was not happy when I switched to a female doctor. But, it's what I had to go through to get to the point I'm at now, so it's okay. (:

IndyMommyWannabe January 23rd, 2012 08:29 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
omg wow!!! I can't believe any doctor would say that to you...but then again, I have met some weird docs before...

and - depending on where you live - small town or big city, doctors are still people who have opinions (and you know what the say about opinions! everyone has them...lol) :rofl:

but seirously - you definitely need to be comfortable with your doc. No - fertility - whether you are fertile or not - isn't something that a lot of people are comfortable talking about.

that's what we here on this board are for though!!!!! :D

You will find girls here from all walks of life and all stages of TTC. Personally DH and I are dealing with MFI (Male Factor Infertility - low sperm count, motility, morphology, etc...) as well as I have one blocked tube...so yeah we're basically screwed! haha! (hey if I can't laugh at myself...lol)

And there are many girls on JM (maybe not specifically this board, although this board IS a-mazing!!!) who also deal with PCOS or Endometreosis or something else that is preventing them from starting their family...

Infertility really is a lot more common than you'd think (not saying everyone here is dealing with it, just that it's more common than you think...)

Obviously I hope that you guys are not dealing with anything like that - but I'm a huge proponent of getting yourself checked out - because if there is anything to be concerned with, it's best to get treated correctly!

Again, welcome to the boards and good luck!!!!

Wizza January 23rd, 2012 11:24 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Welcome! I think it's a good idea to wait on the MA until you feel you are ready. But when you do decide to get some help make sure you have a doctor that makes you feel comfortable, it's really none of their business what your married status is or isn't. Some people don't even have partners and still seek medical help to conceive so there are no rules about who can have the help and who can't.

I buy my OPKs and HPTs on either ebay (but all the really cheap ones have been mia for a few months) or on Amazon. I actually just got these ones last week and I like them so far.
Amazon.com: 50 Ovulation Prediction Strips & 20 Pregnancy Test Strips: USHealthTests and Products

I think charting your temps will give you the best advantage when it comes to having properly timed intercourse. Most of us on here chart our temps so feel free to ask us questions if you decide to go that route. :D

Cait&AngelAbove January 24th, 2012 07:47 AM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Welcome! My name is Caitlin. I am sorry that your doctor said something like that to you. It is not their job to judge you at all. I hope temping and the opks get you your bfp!

Born2BeaMommy January 24th, 2012 11:21 AM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Thank you guys so much for the advice and the support! Just last night I got more sleep than I have in the last couple weeks! I appreciate every single one of you that took the time to write back. :D
& Wizza, thank you so very much for saying that. That is true! So if I do get any judgement, maybe I will say just that. Doctors have just never been my favorite. I like the OB I have now but it doesn't stop from wondering what they are gonna say, or the looks, or whatever else. Oh well! I will take this in stride. I feel like I'm ready, and that's all that matters. :D
Hope all of your Tuesdays are going well!

Belita January 24th, 2012 02:31 PM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
I can't believe the doctor said that to you! Completely unprofessional and I don't blame you for switching doctors! You go there for professional opinions, not personal ones.

I hope the charting and OPKs help you get your BFP!

martinchic January 25th, 2012 04:00 AM

Re: I just don't understand...
 
Hello and welcome!

I agree with everyone's advice above!

I've just starting charting myself, and I really can say it gives you a wonderful sense of knowing your body and what its doing when!

I feel like we were just shooting in the dark before I started charting! (no pun intended :D)

For you, it may be something as simple as timing it on the wrong days...and by charting your temps, CM etc...you'd be aware of that in as short as a 1 month.

Yes, there are some woman who are super-duper fertile and can get pregnant by just looking at a man (lol)...but if you're not that type, then this is the place to come to get all sorts of advice, rant/vent...or just learn stuff you never knew before!

Again, welcome! And I hope your stay is very short and sweet!


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